Letter from Santa

Elkhunter

New member
Joined
Dec 20, 2000
Messages
11,273
Location
Jackson, Wyoming
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good
this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some
goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little
problem......

The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling
with the 10 ladies dancing,

The 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids-a-milking

The 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7
swans-a-swimming.

The 6 geese-a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge-in-a-pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit.

On top of all this, Mrs Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.

Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the
things you want. This year I suggest you get your asses down to
the WalMart before everything is gone!

From Santa
 

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