Dad Joke thread

[kansasdad]

The guy who invented throat lozenges died, and it was a little weird at his funeral.

There was no coughin’ at his service.

 

[kansasdad]

To help put myself through college, I took a job at the Taj Mahal restaurant which as you might guess was famous for its Indian flatbread. The owners were very proud of their recipes, which they kept secret by having all employees sign a naan disclosure agreement.

 

[noharleyyet]

To help put myself through college, I took a job at the Taj Mahal restaurant which as you might guess was famous for its Indian flatbread. The owners were very proud of their recipes, which they kept secret by having all employees sign a naan disclosure agreement.

 

[kansasdad]

Julie Andrews bought some beautifully bright cheap lipstick that fell apart on application and gave her bad breath.




You might say that her super colored fragile lipstick gave her halitosis!

 

[Torrent50]

I had one of those situations yesterday at work when you see someone waving, but you're not sure they are waving at you, and you don't want to look like an idiot, so you just ignore them.

In other news, I'm no longer employed as a lifeguard.

 

[kansasdad]

What do ticks and The Eiffel Tower have in common?






They’re both Paris-sites

 

[AvidIndoorsman]

 

[kansasdad]

 

[cowboy]

 

[kansasdad]

 

[kansasdad]

What do you call 5 dark side Jedi on a light sabre??


A Sith kabob

 

[kansasdad]

Why was the pitcher from Endor an ineffective reliever?

Ewok’d everybody

 

[kansasdad]

I have recently joined an amateur autopsy club, and I’m really excited about it………Tuesday is open Mike night

 

[Addicting]

Is a non producing dairy cow a milk dud or an utter disappointment?

 

[kansasdad]

 

[steveshuntn1]

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter he’s not coming!

 

[Addicting]

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter he’s not coming!

A hot dog…

 

[Carl 9.3x62]

A hot dog…

What do you call a dog with no back legs and balls of steel.

Sparky

 

[trackerbacker]

Background:the day was a Sunday.

While passing a pond, and the kids asking what those kids are doing at the pond we passed, my wife replied

"Fishing!"

Me:

"They can't fish on the weekend!"

"Why?!"

"Because schools are closed on the weekend"

I barely got it out before finding myself too funny

 

[JustinsDad]

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter he’s not coming!

What do you call a dog with no front legs?

Neil.