Dad Joke thread

[Sawtooth]

I stand corrected. I meant to say IGen.

 

[Deleted member 28227]

“Honey”

“ Yeah”

“What’s Gus now”

“ eye roll”

“ A SALTY SEA DOG”

 

[Big Slick]

A man goes to his therapist and tells him he had two dreams.
One dream I was a wig wom and the dream I was a teepee.

The therapist says, Rekax, your two tents..

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[2rocky]

 

[2rocky]

 

[Festus]

If you tell this joke to a millennial they probably won't get it.

 

[Festus]

 

[2rocky]

https://www.facebook.com/johnnonnyofficial/posts/924818814695793

 

[44hunter45]

A friend told this one this morning.

"A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel sticking out from under his hat. The barkeep asks why, and he says, "Arrghhhh. I have a Bounty on me head. "

I asked my friend if the pirate was wearing a Bounty into a bar because it's the "quicker picker upper."

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[MarvB]

What do you call a horse that likes to stay up late? .....A night mare.
A horse walks into a bar...... The bartender asks him “Why the long face?”
Why couldn’t the pony sing? .......Because he was a little hoarse.

 

[2rocky]

you guys are awesome. Keep 'em coming.

 

[noharleyyet]

Universal truth...

 

[Outbound]

My wife asked me why I spoke so softly in the house. I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed.
I laughed.
Alexa laughed.
Siri laughed.

My wife asked me why I carry a gun in the house. I said "Because of the Decepticons".
She laughed.
I laughed.
The toaster laughed.
I shot the toaster.

 

[Festus]

Two antennas got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was amazing.

 

[XXL]

Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[2rocky]

Studies have shown that cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them.


It is a case of in one ear and out the udder.