COPS GOT ME !!!
- Thread starter Moosie
- Start date
MarvB
Well-known member
Par me don ociffer,
but I not a thunk as
some drinkle peep I am!
but I not a thunk as
some drinkle peep I am!
R
RogueWarrior1957
Guest
Officer: "Whar's tha far (fire), boy!"
Speeder: "Well, if it was up your arse, you'd know!"
Tried that one when I was about 18 and headed in to take the USMC entrance exam...it was not a cool thing to say and didn't work! $120 later I learned my lesson. After my dad having been a cop, you'd think I'd have been smart enough not to try it!
Speeder: "Well, if it was up your arse, you'd know!"
Tried that one when I was about 18 and headed in to take the USMC entrance exam...it was not a cool thing to say and didn't work! $120 later I learned my lesson. After my dad having been a cop, you'd think I'd have been smart enough not to try it!
Tuffbucker
New member
Those responses are pretty good.....and in fact, I have heard quite a few of them while at work.....but the best resonse is the one I give back.....(always with a smile)....
SIGN NEXT TO THE X.....PRESS HARD, 4 COPIES!!!
And if they really try to be funny.....I start looking for more stuff to ticket them for....
THE TREAD ON YOUR TIRES IS LOOKING A LITTLE THIN, YOU DIDNT HAVE YOUR SEATBELT ON, YOUR REGISTRATION EXPIRED....YESTERDAY, IS THAT A CRACK IN YOUR WINDSHIELD, THE LITTLE LIGHT ON YOUR LICENSE PLATE IS OUT,....DO YOU WANT ME TO KEEP GOING!!!
Remember, you might think your funny, but WE ALWAYS GET THE LAST LAUGH!!!!!
SIGN NEXT TO THE X.....PRESS HARD, 4 COPIES!!!
And if they really try to be funny.....I start looking for more stuff to ticket them for....
THE TREAD ON YOUR TIRES IS LOOKING A LITTLE THIN, YOU DIDNT HAVE YOUR SEATBELT ON, YOUR REGISTRATION EXPIRED....YESTERDAY, IS THAT A CRACK IN YOUR WINDSHIELD, THE LITTLE LIGHT ON YOUR LICENSE PLATE IS OUT,....DO YOU WANT ME TO KEEP GOING!!!
Remember, you might think your funny, but WE ALWAYS GET THE LAST LAUGH!!!!!
wilecoyote76
New member
Here's a funny one I heard:
Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Driver: "Nope."
Officer: "You were going 40 in a school zone. I am going to have to write you a ticket."
Driver: Takes the ticket and says, "Is this a ticket to the policeman's ball?"
Officer: "Policemen don't have balls!"
Driver: "Yep, That's what I thought....."
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Wilecoyote76
Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Driver: "Nope."
Officer: "You were going 40 in a school zone. I am going to have to write you a ticket."
Driver: Takes the ticket and says, "Is this a ticket to the policeman's ball?"
Officer: "Policemen don't have balls!"
Driver: "Yep, That's what I thought....."
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Wilecoyote76
Gunner46
Well-known member
I DON'T live in Florida.
I DON'T know anybody AKA'd as "Moosie".
I DON'T drink anything, cept natural spring water.
And I DON'T remember what we were talking about in the first place!!!!
<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ 01-19-2004 15:49: Message edited by: Gunner46 ]</font>
I DON'T know anybody AKA'd as "Moosie".
I DON'T drink anything, cept natural spring water.
And I DON'T remember what we were talking about in the first place!!!!
<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ 01-19-2004 15:49: Message edited by: Gunner46 ]</font>
C
Coffeeman
Guest
Officer says " You ran a yellow light! Don't you know what a yellow light means?"
Driver says " Yep. It means give it hell to beat the red!"
The Officer just laughs, gets into his squad car, and drives away.
Driver says " Yep. It means give it hell to beat the red!"
The Officer just laughs, gets into his squad car, and drives away.
R
RogueWarrior1957
Guest
Officer: Why didn't you stop when I turned on my lights?
Driver: Well, you see it's like this..last week my wife ran off with a patrolman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back!
This one was told as a true story...whether it was or not, who knows:
A motorcycle cop wakes up in his hospital room after having an appendectomy. He notices a tight constraining feeling every time he breaths or moves, and something keeps pulling at the hair on his chest. He notices that there appears to be a bandage on his chest as he feels through the gown. He manages to turn on the light and pulls the hospital gown up high enough to check things out, although he's a bit apprehensive that he had more extensive surgery than originally planned. There across his hairy chest is a wide double-band of adhesive tape (the extra sticky crap that doesn't turn loose until it thunders), and across it in magic marker is written, "Best wishes for your recovery...from the nurse you gave a ticket last week."
Women ALWAYS get the last laugh...especially lady cops!
-RW-
<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ 01-19-2004 20:24: Message edited by: RogueWarrior1957 ]</font>
Driver: Well, you see it's like this..last week my wife ran off with a patrolman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back!
This one was told as a true story...whether it was or not, who knows:
A motorcycle cop wakes up in his hospital room after having an appendectomy. He notices a tight constraining feeling every time he breaths or moves, and something keeps pulling at the hair on his chest. He notices that there appears to be a bandage on his chest as he feels through the gown. He manages to turn on the light and pulls the hospital gown up high enough to check things out, although he's a bit apprehensive that he had more extensive surgery than originally planned. There across his hairy chest is a wide double-band of adhesive tape (the extra sticky crap that doesn't turn loose until it thunders), and across it in magic marker is written, "Best wishes for your recovery...from the nurse you gave a ticket last week."
Women ALWAYS get the last laugh...especially lady cops!
-RW-
<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ 01-19-2004 20:24: Message edited by: RogueWarrior1957 ]</font>
buckee
New member
You wrinkle up your face, rock back and forth in your seat and tell the officer than you have a really bad case of diarrhea and are trying to make it to the nearest bathroom before you explode .....He'll let you go..trust me
rhnm
New member
My wifes grandfather 86 years old gets pulled over. The cop checks his license then asks if he has vision problems. Grandpa says no.
cop; How far can you see?
grandpa; I can see the sun. How far is that?
cop; How far can you see?
grandpa; I can see the sun. How far is that?
Quick Draw
New member
Officer: Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?
Lady: No officer I don't, do you?
Officer: Ma'am you did not come to afull and complete stop before the light turned green.
Lady: And wht's your point, I see people do that all the time around?
Officer: I'm not going to give you a ticket even though I should, I'll let you go with a warning becuase I'm a nice guy.
Lady: Well thank you officer and have a nice day.
Officer: You too.
Later down the raod....What a jerk pulled me over for doing nothing wrong.
Quick Draw
Lady: No officer I don't, do you?
Officer: Ma'am you did not come to afull and complete stop before the light turned green.
Lady: And wht's your point, I see people do that all the time around?
Officer: I'm not going to give you a ticket even though I should, I'll let you go with a warning becuase I'm a nice guy.
Lady: Well thank you officer and have a nice day.
Officer: You too.
Later down the raod....What a jerk pulled me over for doing nothing wrong.
Quick Draw
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