Chaffing Wapiti; an August archery elk hunting story

Sasquatchewan

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 7, 2018
Messages
2,883
Location
Saskatchewan
TMI ALERT (butt you know you want to read it). Well I just got back from a 4 day backpacking OTC archery elk hunt in the wet and humid Boreal Forest of Northern Saskatchewan, it came close to being a successful one, but I will have to wait for rifle season to try and hopefully get a shot I can take. This hunt was not only my first elk hunt but it was also my first time experiencing 5 alarm chaffing in my backside area. Age is definitely getting the best of me and I am finding new things about myself everyday, most of which suck. As a preamble, I've been in the Army for 14 years, been on deployments in the Middle East and Africa (ie very hot places), I am no stranger to being loaded with gear and hauling ass in hot and humid environments for hours and days. Two things I've always had going for myself was my bullet proof feet (never had a blister) and tough skin (always made fun of guys using baby powder or cream). Well, I'll say that all I have going for me now are my bullet proof feet (until this changes... *sigh*).

On the trip, it was success overall, it was my very first archery elk hunt and my first time ever visiting that part of the country. I saw one good bull and couple cows, I got very close to a bugling bull but never got a shot due to the thick dense bush. I was physically and mentally ready-ish for the trip, what I wasn't ready for though was the terrain; Google earth and maps never paint a clear picture. The bush up there is T H I C C and the areas that are "open" are swamps. This makes for great elk sanctuaries if you can get into them or see them at all. All is not lost, I've found some good areas that hold elk and will be back in a couple weeks this time with a rifle. Lots of bears in the area which I also hold a tag for, one of them was spared on my second day at last light when I got a shot but opted not to take it as all I wanted to do was get some of that prairie wind on my chaffing back side.

Now onto the greasy details, I developed a serious case of 5 alarm chaffing in my crack. Hauling ass, literally, in a hot and wet Boreal swamp almost brought me to tears. I like to think that I'm a tough guy and tolerate discomforts really well, butt this was past discomfort, this was self-induced torture. My pack out on the last day was one of the worst and uncomfortable walk I've ever been on. When I finally reached my truck, tears in my eyes from happiness and pain, all I did was drop trousers and let the gentle breeze caress my touchy. The 4 hour drive home was almost just as bad as the walk to the truck. I got home, jumped in the shower, raided my youngest daughter's butt-cream, RELIEF AT LAST!!! I will never leave on a backpacking trip again without some ass grease, lesson learned.

Although I live in the Prairies, I've never been the cowboy type, until now, since I walk like one...
 
Last edited:
A bit of a chuckle... humidity sucks! I had an episode in Florida while running all over Universal Studios... trying to keep up with the family. Finally tucked tail and entered their infirmary... Apparently I'm not the only sucker from dry climates that's succumbed to chaffing hell!

Welcome to the chaffing club. I feel your pain.
 
I grew up in St Louis, lived the Ozarks for 6 years- I know your pain. The "swamp fire" can lay you up for days if you're not careful.

Keep that area dry at all costs. Wipe early, wipe often. Wet wipes are a savior. Gold bond or similar is great prevention, if you can stand carrying it.
 
Thats a tough break. It is hard to prepare for stuff like that if it has never happened especially when you don't want to bring a bunch of extra things for the what ifs.

Glad you got into some action though!
 
I know what you are talking about...big time.

I have had it so bad that it was bleeding. And I agree it is a part of getting older because I never had problems when I was young.
 
I am finding new things about myself everyday, most of which suck.

Truer words have never been spoken!

It sucks, that's why it's so funny and relatable. Cowboy crotch is not only real, but raw, red and painful, no matter the exact location of the burning in the nether regions.
 

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
110,805
Messages
1,935,062
Members
34,883
Latest member
clamwc
Back
Top