Burning my soul clean.

[44hunter45]

I've been working on my mother's funeral arrangements and estate issues for the last two weeks. My dad is still very sick and in the hospital. I simply had no choice but to come home and get some work done this week.

Two days driving home from Phoenix. Day one always ends in Ely, NV if we are going straight home. I wanted to get off the map for a while today. Overland from Ely to Elko. iPhone said 3 1/2 hours at 35 MPH. Did it in 2:45. There may have been some drifting involved. For those couple of hours I had the planet to myself. I did not see another vehicle, building, or human. About 2/3 of this trip is off pavement.
The roads are maintained for the mines and even unpaved are in good shape. Actually frozen enough to run like pavement in some places. I imagine this would be a gumbo mess in monsoon. Today the dirt was better than the paved bits.

All of our fancy navigation tools want to keep you on the pavement. So first you have to plan the route, then you have navigate and execute it. The roads are not especially dangerous, but require your full attention or you can be over your head fast. It was just the task focus I needed to shut out life for a while. Your life drills down to the GPS warning you of the turns ahead and keeping the ball centered, as my dad used to say.

After Elko I ran NV-225/ID-51 over Owyhee Canyon. I came out on I-84 at Mountain Home, ID. Then I road raged at all the idiots camping out in the fast lane. Give me dirt and gravel every time.

I will likely have go back to Phoenix soon. My son is flying down Tuesday to be with my dad, and a sib will be there next week.

 

[WNC2500]

Sorry to hear that @44hunter45
Your family will be in my prayers.

 

[Gellar]

Sorry for the loss of your mom. I completely understand the stress, we just went through similar with my wife’s mom. Over Christmas to boot.

It’s only a 1.5 mile drive to their house, but it’s all gravel. My wife’s siblings were/are still being buttheads so it’s been very stressful on her and us. One night close to the end a tree fell across the road, the county would have cleaned it up in the morning, but my wife was with her mom and asked me to clean it up so she didn’t have to go around on the highway. Chainsaw gas, and sawdust never felt so good at 10 pm.

Lesson learned here, get your affairs in order before it’s too late. What were simple, obvious decisions for care caused major hurt feelings mostly from siblings who weren’t involved at all leading up to the end even though they were asked and begged to be there or even just to come for a visit.

 

[Salmonchaser]

I've been working on my mother's funeral arrangements and estate issues for the last two weeks. My dad is still very sick and in the hospital. I simply had no choice but to come home and get some work done this week.

Two days driving home from Phoenix. Day one always ends in Ely, NV if we are going straight home. I wanted to get off the map for a while today. Overland from Ely to Elko. iPhone said 3 1/2 hours at 35 MPH. Did it in 2:45. There may have been some drifting involved. For those couple of hours I had the planet to myself. I did not see another vehicle, building, or human. About 2/3 of this trip is off pavement.
The roads are maintained for the mines and even unpaved are in good shape. Actually frozen enough to run like pavement in some places. I imagine this would be a gumbo mess in monsoon. Today the dirt was better than the paved bits.

All of our fancy navigation tools want to keep you on the pavement. So first you have to plan the route, then you have navigate and execute it. The roads are not especially dangerous, but require your full attention or you can be over your head fast. It was just the task focus I needed to shut out life for a while. Your life drills down to the GPS warning you of the turns ahead and keeping the ball centered, as my dad used to say.

After Elko I ran NV-225/ID-51 over Owyhee Canyon. I came out on I-84 at Mountain Home, ID. Then I road raged at all the idiots camping out in the fast lane. Give me dirt and gravel every time.

I will likely have go back to Phoenix soon. My son is flying down Tuesday to be with my dad, and a sib will be there next week.

The Great Basin is a great place to clear your head. Even on pavement you can keep track of how many vehicles you see between stops. Amazing country when you get off the highway. My guess is your mother knew you would go that way and was glad you took the opportunity.
Prayers offered from our house to yours.

 

[44hunter45]

Lesson learned here, get your affairs in order before it’s too late. What were simple, obvious decisions for care caused major hurt feelings mostly from siblings who weren’t involved at all leading up to the end even though they were asked and begged to be there or even just to come for a visit.

This

I have to say don't leave a mess for your kids either. Have an end of life plan and discuss it with your kids when they are mature enough.
Things don't always go as planned, but you still need a roadmap for your children to follow.

 

[antlerradar]

I have always found getting away from civilization is a great way to deal with stress.

 

[SaskHunter]

Lesson learned here, get your affairs in order before it’s too late. What were simple, obvious decisions for care caused major hurt feelings mostly from siblings who weren’t involved at all leading up to the end even though they were asked and begged to be there or even just to come for a visit.

As a first responder who's witnessed this unravel real-time with CPR in progress, make sure your affairs are in order and advance care directives known. First, to ensure YOUR wishes are followed and we're not trying to revive you when that wasn't your wish. Second, to avoid any heated family arguments over care. I've seen siblings give conflicting information or completely ignore advance care notices/DNRs which came out after CPR was unsuccessful, working on a patient for 45 minutes straight only to be told "they had a DNR anyway" after the fact sucks donkeys (CPR isn't pretty and you watched me manhandle a family member and it also has an affect on first responders too).

I have always found getting away from civilization is a great way to deal with stress.

There have been two constants in my adult life when it comes to greatly reducing stress: my children and the outdoors.

 

[44hunter45]

My truck rolled over 200000 miles coming up the Salmon River near White Bird, ID.
YouTube would have you think the engine will fall out on the 5.3L AFM. Nope. I've had plenty of nits with this truck but the powerplant is not one of them.

 

[Irrelevant]

There have been two constants in my adult life when it comes to greatly reducing stress: my children and the outdoors.

I mean, I knew Canadians were crazy, but holy shit man, WTF are you talking about? They are the source of most of my stress! They literally: don't listen, create disarray out of order, are filthy- actually, create filth, somehow- magically forget even the most basic things, yet remember any and everything they can use against you (truly photographic memory of every bit of hypocrisy I've uttered), they break everything, they use your shit and then not only not put it away, they literally HIDE it and then can't remember where they hid it, they wear through shoes like they're made of paper, they were their "nice" clothes into the mud every chance they get, chores-forget it, and they constantly demand to be diven either to, or back from, somewhere...

I could go on.

 

[SaskHunter]

I mean, I knew Canadians were crazy, but holy shit man, WTF are you talking about? They are the source of most of my stress! They literally: don't listen, create disarray out of order, are filthy- actually, create filth, somehow- magically forget even the most basic things, yet remember any and everything they can use against you (truly photographic memory of every bit of hypocrisy I've uttered), they break everything, they use your shit and then not only not put it away, they literally HIDE it and then can't remember where they hid it, they wear through shoes like they're made of paper, they were their "nice" clothes into the mud every chance they get, chores-forget it, and they constantly demand to be diven either to, or back from, somewhere...

I could go on.

Don't get me wrong, my kids are little A-holes, through and through. However, the rare occasion they're not fighting over who crossed over the imaginary line on the couch, and ask to snuggle and watch a show, it all goes away... until they're A-holes again...

That was my morning BTW, fighting for them to get dressed, eat breakfast and get my 11yo "professional victim" to stop bugging the 7yo bully... I wonder what they'll fight about tonight?!

 

[Irrelevant]

get my 11yo "professional victim"

I'm stealing that one... very fitting. Every family has one.

 

[Ben Lamb]

There is nothing better for thinking than long rides on untraveled roads.

Keep making that drive, buddy. It helps the processing and dealing with the heaviness that comes from losing your parents. My drive was from Helena to Cody/Riverton using only 2 lanes and dirt. It was cathartic, and I doubt I'd have handled that task as well without it.

 

[ashersdad]

I mean, I knew Canadians were crazy, but holy shit man, WTF are you talking about? They are the source of most of my stress! They literally: don't listen, create disarray out of order, are filthy- actually, create filth, somehow- magically forget even the most basic things, yet remember any and everything they can use against you (truly photographic memory of every bit of hypocrisy I've uttered), they break everything, they use your shit and then not only not put it away, they literally HIDE it and then can't remember where they hid it, they wear through shoes like they're made of paper, they were their "nice" clothes into the mud every chance they get, chores-forget it, and they constantly demand to be diven either to, or back from, somewhere...

I could go on.

I used to think the exact same thing. Now that both my boys are gone, I would trade just about anything to have that stage of life back. Enjoy your time with them now. It doesn't last very long...

Sorry about your loss @44hunter45. We'll pray for you and your family. Glad you found some solace in the journey.

 

[mtmuley]

I mean, I knew Canadians were crazy, but holy shit man, WTF are you talking about? They are the source of most of my stress! They literally: don't listen, create disarray out of order, are filthy- actually, create filth, somehow- magically forget even the most basic things, yet remember any and everything they can use against you (truly photographic memory of every bit of hypocrisy I've uttered), they break everything, they use your shit and then not only not put it away, they literally HIDE it and then can't remember where they hid it, they wear through shoes like they're made of paper, they were their "nice" clothes into the mud every chance they get, chores-forget it, and they constantly demand to be diven either to, or back from, somewhere...

I could go on.

Mine are grown. I miss that stuff. mtmuley

 

[rtraverdavis]

Mine are grown. I miss that stuff. mtmuley

I need to hear stuff like this and be reminded of how precious these days are, even when my kids drive me crazy. Deep down, I know it won’t last.

@44hunter45 sorry about the spot that you’re in and keep taking care of yourself.

 

[mtmuley]

I need to hear stuff like this and be reminded of how precious these days are, even when my kids drive me crazy. Deep down, I know it won’t last.

@44hunter45 sorry about the spot that you’re in and keep taking care of yourself.

It goes fast. Grandkids bring it all back. My best to @44hunter45 mtmuley

 

[Hem]

My one and only is a freshman in college. Where did 18 years go?
We have a digital photo display on the kitchen counter , photos from the last 20+ years. Daily reminder of all the phases.
I get to see her every few weeks, but miss her everyday.
Looking forward to lunch this Friday.

 

[noharleyyet]

It goes fast. Grandkids bring it all back. My best to @44hunter45 mtmuley

Used to love how much my youngest daughter was like me...well, she grew up & we're still alike enough to annoy each other.

 

[Straight Arrow]

It goes fast. Grandkids bring it all back.

For some of us even grandkids era goes fast. Embrace life with parents, kids, and grandkids ... as that is such a real reward.
'Seems like yesterday I was cleaning the poop off the slide in the Burger King playground and off the grandboy's butt ... then last summer he had a fast go in steer wrestling at the famous Pendleton Roundup. Time doth fly by!

 

[mtmuley]

Used to love how much my youngest daughter was like me...well, she grew up & we're still alike enough to annoy each other.

Yep. My Daughter is a sweetheart until she isn't. Got it from me. My Granddaughter is proving to be quite a handful so far. In a good way. mtmuley