ADHD- Long overdue to deal with it

[R.K.]

I’m not sure how many of the hunttalkers here have struggled with ADHD, or have someone in their life who has. I was on the fence about posting, but I’ll share my experience here, in hopes that it might help anyone who is struggling with it. It was tough, and it’s just as tough to share it. So grab a snack and take a seat- this one got away from me.

TL;DR- decades of BS solved in three months.

To start, I guess I’ll define it by the biochemical root- you don’t have enough dopamine. Period. On average, it sits at about 20% of “normal”. This wouldn’t matter, except dopamine is the brain’s “motivation and reward” neurotransmitter. Your brain craves it, and needs it to sit at a certain level to function “normally”.

And that’s where the symptoms show up- either you don’t have enough dopamine to get yourself to do anything, or you’re constantly seeking ways to boost it. This manifests itself as a whole host of things: executive dysfunction (looks like laziness to the observer), impulsivity, forgetfulness, time blindness, insomnia, emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, avoidant productivity, and addictive personality traits (including phone addiction).

Some aren’t as bad- avoidant productivity can be manipulated to get you to clean the house (but still leads to stress from the things you’re avoiding). Addictive traits are objectively the worst- alcohol is one of the most common ways of self regulation, since it temporarily boosts dopamine, and can quickly get out of hand. Same with gambling, other drugs, etc. Phone addiction is far more nuanced, and possibly more insidious. And the rest? They have long-term consequences that lead to what I’d call secondary symptoms.

Executive dysfunction- this might be the biggest one. You want to go to the gym, schedule that appointment, remember your wife’s Birthday, use the produce you bought on the day you had motivation, get that project done at work, get off the couch, pack for the hunting trip, etc. Anything you wanted or planned on doing, but either forgot, or didn’t have the bandwidth to do until it was too late- those inactions add up over time, with real consequences. Anxiety, damaged friendships and relationships, poor performance at work, etc. It looks like laziness, or even depression, from the outside, but differs in one very important way- the desire to do the things is there, and you get stressed that you physically can’t make yourself do them. I’ve been lazy from time to time, and that’s wonderfully relaxing. This is entirely different.

Turns out, the average person doesn’t know that much about it. They don’t really care. And if you get good grades in school, everyone will just let you cope with it on your own. If you struggle, then it’s a personal flaw- laziness, stupidity, uncaring, unreliable. And they’ll maybe try to share tips/tricks/hacks that simply don’t work for your brain. And if you have any of the secondary symptoms that are medically recognized, they’ll be quick to look at those first and ignore the root cause. It feels like the necessary support doesn’t exist, until you really start looking for it.


So that’s what it is. My experience? Could never focus on anything but hunting or fishing, but did well enough academically to not get help. In college, I found out I could get up and out and conquer the world- for a beer. Homework? Beer. Vacuum? Beer. Dishes? Beer. Shower? Beer. Fishing? Beer. Hang out with friends? Tequila. And then it escalated. I drank my way up to a 4.0 for a couple semesters, ending with a 3.6. I say that I retired from drinking after that, as there were several people who called me a professional.

But then I graduated and went off into the real world, trying to start a career in 2012, and the symptoms were still there. Couldn’t clean the apartment, couldn’t remember important dates for myself or my girlfriend, couldn’t get the energy to get off the couch and leave for the weekend, fell behind at work and career progress, and constantly stressed and panicked about all of it. A short vacation would temporarily help, but not always. Hunting and fishing eventually turned into just another way to get a hit of dopamine, with entirely too much pressure on myself to be successful- which is a bastardization of them both.

Fast forward several years. Eventually it got the better of me- was covering 4 positions at work, sometimes 70 hour weeks, and I still fell behind, and couldn’t get a promotion. Anxiety took over, and I burned out and fell apart. We parted ways.

A year later, the new job is much easier, but I can see it all happening again. So I decided to finally get help. Three months later, I made a call and got an appointment. They decided to treat the anxiety with an antidepressant, which was not properly explained to me at the time. This did not go well. Not only did it not improve the symptoms, it changed my personality into something resembling a wax statue of Ben Stein, and that’s the best thing that I can say about it. I stopped taking them, and eventually quit the job and moved back to Montana to get married. I said “only at gunpoint” in response to trying medication again.

One year later- Change of careers, newly married, new puppy. Symptoms still there. Motivation still absent. Do everything in my power to improve. Try every trick and hack out there to improve. Nothing sticks. The cracks are starting to form in everything, and I’m out of options. Finally have a life I’m unwilling to lose, so here’s my metaphorical “gunpoint”.

I informed my boss of my intentions in case it went sideways, went to the new doctor, and within 5 minutes they said “Oh yeah, you need this. Badly.” Prescribed a stimulant that works well for many people with ADHD. That first day? I could have conquered the world. Every chore from the past 3 months? Done in 4 hours. Wife even told me to slow down. Then I finished up several projects that had been sitting in the garage for up to a year. was out of things to do, so I planned to go fishing the next day. It was incredible.

I slept a grand total of 20 hours over the next 7 days, 8 of them after I went kayak fishing. I stopped taking the stimulant, but the insomnia held on. I averaged 4 hours a night after that. It was bad. I couldn’t function. Hallucinated a bit during the worst of it, and worse. My motivation and mental health were shot. A month into the process, and I was about to get fired from my new career (thank God I alerted my boss). Marriage was strained. And looking back- phone addiction was rampant, another dopamine-seeking behavior. After the first week, the doctor switched me to a non-stimulant medication, and it didn’t seem to help.

Turns out, this non-stimulant has a long-term activity that must be built up, rather than the “in and out” stimulants with a supposed 12 hour cycle. Start on one low dose, then ramp up to full dosage over a month, and finally the effects fully kick in after 6-10 weeks. It was closer to 10 for me. I noticed small differences, not week to week but every two weeks or so, until it all just kind of resolved one day.

Executive dysfunction was gone. That was the main goal. Chores done, job projects complete ahead of deadline, etc. The stress and anxiety from that went away. Was able to finally put down the phone, delete any time-wasting app, and reclaim my life from those. Fishing was fun again. Took the dogs on longer walks than ever.

I feel like I’m finally the person I’ve always tried to be. The endless to-do list has been whittled down to a “want to do” rather than a “need to do” list. Getting up and into work early. Clean house. Better relationships with the important people in my life. The endless thoughts and songs pinballing in my head finally got muted. I can finally focus on the important things in life, rather than having to force myself to do it.

So if you have ADHD, and you’re struggling with it, for the love of God stop putting it off. Ask someone to help you schedule an appointment. And stick with it. No, getting help doesn’t make you weak. No, you’re not too old. And no, it’s not too late. It’s never too late to get better.

Hope this textual mass of hot air can help someone out there- whether it’s getting help yourself or simply understanding someone in your life just a little bit better.


Here’s a photo from a recent fishing trip that I didn’t feel guilty about taking or stressed about catching anything. It went alright.

 

[Wild Bill]

Congrats on getting help.

My six year old son has ADHD and anxiety disorder and we’ve been seeing a couple specialists for the last couple years to help us all figure it out as best we can. He’s on a couple non-stimulant medications that have helped a lot with the emotional regulation aspect, but the executive function aspect is just something we’re going to have to help him out with forever. The one psychologist we’ve seen says that for folks with ADHD, their frontal lobe developed at about 30% slower than non ADHD brains. So, as a six year old, he has the frontal lobe/emotional intelligence of a four or four and a half year old. He said by the time someone with ADHD is about 30, their frontal lobe is completely developed.

It’s been a challenge at times, but we’re doing our best to help him and put him in the best situations for success.

Good luck, thanks for sharing.

 

[R.K.]

Congrats on getting help.

My six year old son has ADHD and anxiety disorder and we’ve been seeing a couple specialists for the last couple years to help us all figure it out as best we can. He’s on a couple non-stimulant medications that have helped a lot with the emotional regulation aspect, but the executive function aspect is just something we’re going to have to help him out with forever. The one psychologist we’ve seen says that for folks with ADHD, their frontal lobe developed at about 30% slower than non ADHD brains. So, as a six year old, he has the frontal lobe/emotional intelligence of a four or four and a half year old. He said by the time someone with ADHD is about 30, their frontal lobe is completely developed.

It’s been a challenge at times, but we’re doing our best to help him and put him in the best situations for success.

Good luck, thanks for sharing.

In hindsight, that tracks with my experience.

I’m glad you’re able to get him the help he needs, and were able to recognize it early. Can’t say it’s going to be easy, but it sounds like you’re in the track to making it as good as possible. Wish all of you well on this journey.

 

[kwyeewyk]

Thanks for sharing your experience and glad you found something that helped.

When I was young, there was always something a little strange about me, but nothing very obvious at all, everything could be explained as just being shy, introverted or similar. I never had trouble with grades but just pretty socially awkward but not really to the point of real dysfunction, but sort of, especially with girls and relationships. Definitely had some level of executive dysfunction, procrastination, and hyper focus on hobbies, etc. But I could always finish my homework the night begore or the morning it was due and get As. But I always had a very active mind, several trains of thought going at once, with a song or bits of a song playing in my mind somewhere too.

My mom was a nurse, and had very similar mentality as me. Insanely productive, she'd have lists for everything, checked off daily, vacations planned down to the minute, to the point where others in the extended family would make fun of it or even get frustrated with her need for adherence to the schedule.

She would make a sing-song style tune for everything when she was working on things, basically just narrating her chores with a silly song.

My dad was dyslexic, I never was but I would always purposely rearrange letters or syllables in phrases or even sentences and create pig Latin type ways of saying things and confuse and piss off my teachers.

I had a friend that had ADHD and took Ritalin for it. When I was in running start program going to college classes last 2 years of high-school he said here take one of these Ritalin before class and see how you like it, so I took one and damned if it wasn't the easiest day of pre calc ever, had all the homework done before I left class. At the time I just thought well that's cool but I don't want to take drugs I don't need and it just felt like cheating.

Flash forward about 14 years and I finally had learned to overcome some of my social issues, sort of, had a few short term girlfriends, but had always been obsessed with my high-school crush who had married someone else but had now divorced and we finally were where I'd always hoped we'd be.

We married when we were 31, and her son was 9. He had problems in school since he was very young, not grades but social interactions. Hyper focus on things, can't let things go, lead all the kids but snap or blow up at them if they didn't want to do something his way.

The school here in Washington started telling us they thought he had ADHD and suggested medication. We looked into it and tried to find some other assessments, and we weren't really convinced it was ADHD. That combined with his mother's anxiety/panic disorder that causes her a major fear of medication and we never got him any prescriptions.

He made it through school, grades were fine, did running start for a year but didn't really get into it, but definitely had something going on mentally. After he left for college, he decided to try ADHD and anxiety meds.

Around the same time, I was coming to the realization through counseling that my issue was likely an autism spectrum issue, high functioning, and difficult to diagnose for certain. But all the traits were there and a spectrum assessment put me squarely in the lower end of the spectrum.

It explained so many of my issues, and it was a relief to have some understanding. As I learned more about it, I began realizing that it was likely that my step son was also probably on the spectrum. I suggested it to my wife and she thought the same.

He didn't do well with the anxiety medication at all, but the Adderall was like speed for him, grinding his teeth and staying up all night. He eventually stopped taking them. He also took a spectrum assessment and was a bit more on it than me.

And now recently one of my employees who is very open said she was taking ADHD and anxiety meds, but it had just been suggested to her that she might be on the spectrum too, she had done the assessment and was. I revealed that I was and told her that I had noticed many of those traits in her and had wondered. She had the same epiphany feeling as me finally understanding how it had affected her throughout her life.

I had been seeing some parallels between ADHD and autism, and now I'm curious to look into the similarities more, because I'm pretty sure the dopamine issue is similar, and in hindsight I see that as something I've self medicated in various ways for a long time.

I'm curious what the non stimulant medication you had success with is? Also curious if you've ever done an autism assessment?

 

[elkduds]

I’m not sure how many of the hunttalkers here have struggled with ADHD, or have someone in their life who has. I was on the fence about posting, but I’ll share my experience here, in hopes that it might help anyone who is struggling with it. It was tough, and it’s just as tough to share it. So grab a snack and take a seat- this one got away from me.

TL;DR- decades of BS solved in three months.

To start, I guess I’ll define it by the biochemical root- you don’t have enough dopamine. Period. On average, it sits at about 20% of “normal”. This wouldn’t matter, except dopamine is the brain’s “motivation and reward” neurotransmitter. Your brain craves it, and needs it to sit at a certain level to function “normally”.

And that’s where the symptoms show up- either you don’t have enough dopamine to get yourself to do anything, or you’re constantly seeking ways to boost it. This manifests itself as a whole host of things: executive dysfunction (looks like laziness to the observer), impulsivity, forgetfulness, time blindness, insomnia, emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, avoidant productivity, and addictive personality traits (including phone addiction).

Some aren’t as bad- avoidant productivity can be manipulated to get you to clean the house (but still leads to stress from the things you’re avoiding). Addictive traits are objectively the worst- alcohol is one of the most common ways of self regulation, since it temporarily boosts dopamine, and can quickly get out of hand. Same with gambling, other drugs, etc. Phone addiction is far more nuanced, and possibly more insidious. And the rest? They have long-term consequences that lead to what I’d call secondary symptoms.

Executive dysfunction- this might be the biggest one. You want to go to the gym, schedule that appointment, remember your wife’s Birthday, use the produce you bought on the day you had motivation, get that project done at work, get off the couch, pack for the hunting trip, etc. Anything you wanted or planned on doing, but either forgot, or didn’t have the bandwidth to do until it was too late- those inactions add up over time, with real consequences. Anxiety, damaged friendships and relationships, poor performance at work, etc. It looks like laziness, or even depression, from the outside, but differs in one very important way- the desire to do the things is there, and you get stressed that you physically can’t make yourself do them. I’ve been lazy from time to time, and that’s wonderfully relaxing. This is entirely different.

Turns out, the average person doesn’t know that much about it. They don’t really care. And if you get good grades in school, everyone will just let you cope with it on your own. If you struggle, then it’s a personal flaw- laziness, stupidity, uncaring, unreliable. And they’ll maybe try to share tips/tricks/hacks that simply don’t work for your brain. And if you have any of the secondary symptoms that are medically recognized, they’ll be quick to look at those first and ignore the root cause. It feels like the necessary support doesn’t exist, until you really start looking for it.


So that’s what it is. My experience? Could never focus on anything but hunting or fishing, but did well enough academically to not get help. In college, I found out I could get up and out and conquer the world- for a beer. Homework? Beer. Vacuum? Beer. Dishes? Beer. Shower? Beer. Fishing? Beer. Hang out with friends? Tequila. And then it escalated. I drank my way up to a 4.0 for a couple semesters, ending with a 3.6. I say that I retired from drinking after that, as there were several people who called me a professional.

But then I graduated and went off into the real world, trying to start a career in 2012, and the symptoms were still there. Couldn’t clean the apartment, couldn’t remember important dates for myself or my girlfriend, couldn’t get the energy to get off the couch and leave for the weekend, fell behind at work and career progress, and constantly stressed and panicked about all of it. A short vacation would temporarily help, but not always. Hunting and fishing eventually turned into just another way to get a hit of dopamine, with entirely too much pressure on myself to be successful- which is a bastardization of them both.

Fast forward several years. Eventually it got the better of me- was covering 4 positions at work, sometimes 70 hour weeks, and I still fell behind, and couldn’t get a promotion. Anxiety took over, and I burned out and fell apart. We parted ways.

A year later, the new job is much easier, but I can see it all happening again. So I decided to finally get help. Three months later, I made a call and got an appointment. They decided to treat the anxiety with an antidepressant, which was not properly explained to me at the time. This did not go well. Not only did it not improve the symptoms, it changed my personality into something resembling a wax statue of Ben Stein, and that’s the best thing that I can say about it. I stopped taking them, and eventually quit the job and moved back to Montana to get married. I said “only at gunpoint” in response to trying medication again.

One year later- Change of careers, newly married, new puppy. Symptoms still there. Motivation still absent. Do everything in my power to improve. Try every trick and hack out there to improve. Nothing sticks. The cracks starting to form in everything, and I’m out of options. Finally have a life I’m unwilling to lose, so here’s my metaphorical “gunpoint”.

I informed my boss of my intentions in case it went sideways, went to the new doctor, and within 5 minutes they said “Oh yeah, you need this. Badly.” Prescribed a stimulant that works well for many people with ADHD. That first day? I could have conquered the world. Every chore from the past 3 months? Done in 4 hours. Wife even told me to slow down. Then I finished up several projects that had been sitting in the garage for up to a year. was out of things to do, so I planned to go fishing the next day. It was incredible.

I slept a grand total of 20 hours over the next 7 days, 8 of them after I went kayak fishing. I stopped taking the stimulant, but the insomnia held on. I averaged 4 hours a night after that. It was bad. I couldn’t function. Hallucinated a bit during the worst of it, and worse. My motivation and mental health were shot. A month into the process, and I was about to get fired from my new career (thank God I earned my boss). Marriage was strained. And looking back- phone addiction was rampant, another dopamine-seeking behavior. After the first week, the doctor switched me to a non-stimulant medication, and it didn’t seem to help.

Turns out, this non-stimulant has a long-term activity that must be built up, rather than the “in and out” stimulants with a supposed 12 hour cycle. Start on one low dose, then ramp up to full dosage over a month, and finally the effects fully kick in after 6-10 weeks. It was closer to 10 for me. I noticed small differences, not week to week but every two weeks or so, until it all just kind of resolved one day.

Executive dysfunction was gone. That was the main goal. Chores done, job projects complete ahead of deadline, etc. The stress and anxiety from that went away. Was able to finally put down the phone, delete any time-wasting app, and reclaim my life from those. Fishing was fun again. Took the dogs on longer walks than ever.

I feel like I’m finally the person I’ve always tried to be. The endless to-do list has been whittled down to a “want to do” rather than a “need to do” list. Getting up and into work early. Clean house. Better relationships with the important people in my life. The endless thoughts and songs pinballing in my head finally got muted. I can finally focus on the important things in life, rather than having to force myself to do it.

So if you have ADHD, and you’re struggling with it, for the love of God stop putting it off. Ask someone to help you schedule an appointment. And stick with it. No, getting help doesn’t make you weak. No, you’re not too old. And no, it’s not too late. It’s never too late to get better.

Hope this textual mass of hot air can help someone out there- whether it’s getting help yourself or simply understanding someone in your life just a little bit better.


Here’s a photo from a recent fishing trip that I didn’t feel guilty about taking or stressed about catching anything. It went alright.
View attachment 420305

Never seen this explained better. We are all different, and experience symptoms differently. Thanks for having the courage and, finally motivation to post this. Cool that you persevered with the sometimes frustrating trial and error associated with mental health med prescribing, which in some cases is roundabout and therefore, challenging as a patient. What a relief to finally feel like who you really are.

 

[rtraverdavis]

@R.K. Damn man, so much in your story mirrors my own. There were so many aspects of my life that looked good on paper—good grades in school and college, solid (mostly) long-term relationships, intense interest and engagement in certain positive activities that I excelled in, good at my job (in a chaotic, disorganized way), and all the while the regular necessities and basic responsibilities of life were constantly being haphazardly duct-taped together in last-minute panics.

I used to joke about having ADHD because of how much I forgot stuff and how disorganized I was. But then after I’d spent many years as a teacher and filled out so many of those ADHD forms for students, I couldn’t help but notice that a lot of the questions on those forms were describing my own behaviors and struggles. With encouragement from my wife I decided to see a doctor about it. Sure enough…

So I’ve been on a non-stimulant medication for ADHD for about a year now. It’s incredible the difference it’s made. I’m still me, but a more functional me. I’m not constantly seeking the dopamine hits like before (which is probably why I’ve been largely absent from Hunt Talk since starting the medication) but have something of a balanced, normal life routine in which I’m able to meet my responsibilities without having my back to a wall first.

Because I wasn’t bouncing off the walls and my life wasn’t completely falling apart, it took until I was 43 to figure this out. But if anyone out there can really relate to what R.K. shared and hasn’t considered it, it might be worth talking with your doctor about the possibility of having ADHD.

 

[kansasdad]

So glad you have found the correct meds to get your brain going like the real you @R.K.

Type I diabetics lack functioning insulin and need meds to survive. Likewise dopamine insufficiency needs to be medically (and behaviorally too sometimes) treated.

Good on your doctor for listening and working with you. Getting proper neurotransmitter functioning benefits the patient and importantly all other folks in the patients life.

Be in the lookout for changes that night signal a need to tweak dosages and medicines.

 

[R.K.]

Thanks for sharing your experience and glad you found something that helped.

When I was young, there was always something a little strange about me, but nothing very obvious at all, everything could be explained as just being shy, introverted or similar. I never had trouble with grades but just pretty socially awkward but not really to the point of real dysfunction, but sort of, especially with girls and relationships. Definitely had some level of executive dysfunction, procrastination, and hyper focus on hobbies, etc. But I could always finish my homework the night begore or the morning it was due and get As. But I always had a very active mind, several trains of thought going at once, with a song or bits of a song playing in my mind somewhere too.

My mom was a nurse, and had very similar mentality as me. Insanely productive, she'd have lists for everything, checked off daily, vacations planned down to the minute, to the point where others in the extended family would make fun of it or even get frustrated with her need for adherence to the schedule.

She would make a sing-song style tune for everything when she was working on things, basically just narrating her chores with a silly song.

My dad was dyslexic, I never was but I would always purposely rearrange letters or syllables in phrases or even sentences and create pig Latin type ways of saying things and confuse and piss off my teachers.

I had a friend that had ADHD and took Ritalin for it. When I was in running start program going to college classes last 2 years of high-school he said here take one of these Ritalin before class and see how you like it, so I took one and damned if it wasn't the easiest day of pre calc ever, had all the homework done before I left class. At the time I just thought well that's cool but I don't want to take drugs I don't need and it just felt like cheating.

Flash forward about 14 years and I finally had learned to overcome some of my social issues, sort of, had a few short term girlfriends, but had always been obsessed with my high-school crush who had married someone else but had now divorced and we finally were where I'd always hoped we'd be.

We married when we were 31, and her son was 9. He had problems in school since he was very young, not grades but social interactions. Hyper focus on things, can't let things go, lead all the kids but snap or blow up at them if they didn't want to do something his way.

The school here in Washington started telling us they thought he had ADHD and suggested medication. We looked into it and tried to find some other assessments, and we weren't really convinced it was ADHD. That combined with his mother's anxiety/panic disorder that causes her a major fear of medication and we never got him any prescriptions.

He made it through school, grades were fine, did running start for a year but didn't really get into it, but definitely had something going on mentally. After he left for college, he decided to try ADHD and anxiety meds.

Around the same time, I was coming to the realization through counseling that my issue was likely an autism spectrum issue, high functioning, and difficult to diagnose for certain. But all the traits were there and a spectrum assessment put me squarely in the lower end of the spectrum.

It explained so many of my issues, and it was a relief to have some understanding. As I learned more about it, I began realizing that it was likely that my step son was also probably on the spectrum. I suggested it to my wife and she thought the same.

He didn't do well with the anxiety medication at all, but the Adderall was like speed for him, grinding his teeth and staying up all night. He eventually stopped taking them. He also took a spectrum assessment and was a bit more on it than me.

And now recently one of my employees who is very open said she was taking ADHD and anxiety meds, but it had just been suggested to her that she might be on the spectrum too, she had done the assessment and was. I revealed that I was and told her that I had noticed many of those traits in her and had wondered. She had the same epiphany feeling as me finally understanding how it had affected her throughout her life.

I had been seeing some parallels between ADHD and autism, and now I'm curious to look into the similarities more, because I'm pretty sure the dopamine issue is similar, and in hindsight I see that as something I've self medicated in various ways for a long time.

I'm curious what the non stimulant medication you had success with is? Also curious if you've ever done an autism assessment?

Sorry you’ve all had to deal with that. Sounds like a less-than-fun journey. But glad you’ve been able to look into getting help.

I have two STEM degrees with a few minors. I’m an engineer with a fascination with fish and fishing. I haven’t been tested- everybody just knows I’m somewhere on the spectrum. Or as my college friends would say- “got a touch of the ‘tism”. Yeah, we’re kinda weird and politically incorrect, but it was incredibly common at that college, and nobody thought anything of it. It’s probably impacted my life, but the symptoms of ADHD that are currently being managed were the main problem. So I’ll focus on one fire at a time for now.

They are frequently associated, especially on the lighter end of the dictum. I’ve been seeing the phrase AuDHD frequently these last few years to describe it.

I sent you a PM with the specific medication- glad to share it with anyone that way, but would rather keep it off the open internet for every data scraping bot to catalog and associate with my profile. Hopefully it is an option for either yourself or your stepson. And for the record- stimulants are amphetamines- it literally is speed. Not everybody’s cup of tea. Definitely not mine.

And for the record- you taking Ritalin for ADHD (sounds like it worked) isn’t cheating, it’s just leveling the playing field.

 

[R.K.]

Never seen this explained better. We are all different, and experience symptoms differently. Thanks for having the courage and, finally motivation to post this. Cool that you persevered with the sometimes frustrating trial and error associated with mental health med prescribing, which in some cases is roundabout and therefore, challenging as a patient. What a relief to finally feel like who you really are.

Thanks for saying that. I tried to be concise, yet thorough. Hard to put 37 years of experiences into one post, but I did the best that I could. Sounds like I did alright.

And that’s the best way I’ve heard it put- to finally feel like who you really are. I’ve been telling my friends I’m finally the person I’ve always tried to be.

So far I’ve had three people reach out about getting help, asking specifics and for a bit of help. So as tough as it was to share, I think it’s already been worth it. So anybody else- feel free to reach out if you have any questions. I’ll answer what I can about my own experience and try to point you in the right direction, but please remember that I’m not a doctor.

 

[cgasner1]

This mean you won’t be running in the subdivision anymore? The body sure is a crazy thing with all the different stuff we all deal with glad your getting it figured out. Really happy they just didn’t try and diagnose you with depression like the bullshit I was dealing with.

 

[R.K.]

@R.K. Damn man, so much in your story mirrors my own. There were so many aspects of my life that looked good on paper—good grades in school and college, solid (mostly) long-term relationships, intense interest and engagement in certain positive activities that I excelled in, good at my job (in a chaotic, disorganized way), and all the while the regular necessities and basic responsibilities of life were constantly being haphazardly duct-taped together in last-minute panics.

I used to joke about having ADHD because of how much I forgot stuff and how disorganized I was. But then after I’d spent many years as a teacher and filled out so many of those ADHD forms for students, I couldn’t help but notice that a lot of the questions on those forms were describing my own behaviors and struggles. With encouragement from my wife I decided to see a doctor about it. Sure enough…

So I’ve been on a non-stimulant medication for ADHD for about a year now. It’s incredible the difference it’s made. I’m still me, but a more functional me. I’m not constantly seeking the dopamine hits like before (which is probably why I’ve been largely absent from Hunt Talk since starting the medication) but have something of a balanced, normal life routine in which I’m able to meet my responsibilities without having my back to a wall first.

Because I wasn’t bouncing off the walls and my life wasn’t completely falling apart, it took until I was 43 to figure this out. But if anyone out there can really relate to what R.K. shared and hasn’t considered it, it might be worth talking with your doctor about the possibility of having ADHD.

Took me until 37 to get it right- better late than never. Glad you were able to figure it out. Definitely agree- still me, just more functional, and able to handle some rather harsh events much better than I ever could have before.

And I’ll second this- if this sounds like you, please talk to your doctor. And if you struggle to make that phone call and schedule the appointment, ask someone else to do it for you, or maybe come over and hold your beer hostage until you do.

 

[R.K.]

This mean you won’t be running in the subdivision anymore? The body sure is a crazy thing with all the different stuff we all deal with glad your getting it figured out. Really happy they just didn’t try and diagnose you with depression like the bullshit I was dealing with.

I’ve got a couple things to figure out before I start running again (rugby was rough on me this fall), but it’s actually much more tolerable now. Used to find running so boring I couldn’t wait for it to end. Now it’s just exhaustion that makes me want to stop.

They tried treating the secondary anxiety a couple years ago, but used an antidepressant to do it. That was bad, and turned me off of medications until I had no other option.

 

[Hem]

I dont mean this as a joke.
Im glad you are enjoying fishing without stress.

 

[R.K.]

So glad you have found the correct meds to get your brain going like the real you @R.K.

Type I diabetics lack functioning insulin and need meds to survive. Likewise dopamine insufficiency needs to be medically (and behaviorally too sometimes) treated.

Good on your doctor for listening and working with you. Getting proper neurotransmitter functioning benefits the patient and importantly all other folks in the patients life.

Be in the lookout for changes that night signal a need to tweak dosages and medicines.

I lucked out and happened to choose a PCP this summer that went through the same struggles (new insurance, had to change). So there wasn’t any struggle getting help there once I finally got the appointment scheduled. Definitely trying to stay aware of any changes that might be happening, as I really don’t want a backslide. I just can’t go back to living like that.

I find it strange that we treat deficiencies in insulin, seratonin, epinephrine, and whatever else they can test for, but dopamine still has a stigma associated with it. Hopefully that’s changing for the better.

 

[elkduds]

Sorry you’ve all had to deal with that. Sounds like a less-than-fun journey. But glad you’ve been able to look into getting help.

I have two STEM degrees with a few minors. I’m an engineer with a fascination with fish and fishing. I haven’t been tested- everybody just knows I’m somewhere on the spectrum. Or as my college friends would say- “got a touch of the ‘tism”. Yeah, we’re kinda weird and politically incorrect, but it was incredibly common at that college, and nobody thought anything of it. It’s probably impacted my life, but the symptoms of ADHD that are currently being managed were the main problem. So I’ll focus on one fire at a time for now.

They are frequently associated, especially on the lighter end of the dictum. I’ve been seeing the phrase AuDHD frequently these last few years to describe it.

I sent you a PM with the specific medication- glad to share it with anyone that way, but would rather keep it off the open internet for every data scraping bot to catalog and associate with my profile. Hopefully it is an option for either yourself or your stepson. And for the record- stimulants are amphetamines- it literally is speed. Not everybody’s cup of tea. Definitely not mine.

And for the record- you taking Ritalin for ADHD (sounds like it worked) isn’t cheating, it’s just leveling the playing field.

Strattera is in the nonstimulant class of meds for ADHD. Ritalin and adderall are stimulants, frequently abused because of same. Stimulants are the first line med choices for treating ADHD.

 

[cgasner1]

I lucked out and happened to choose a PCP this summer that went through the same struggles (new insurance, had to change). So there wasn’t any struggle getting help there once I finally got the appointment scheduled. Definitely trying to stay aware of any changes that might be happening, as I really don’t want a backslide. I just can’t go back to living like that.

I find it strange that we treat deficiencies in insulin, seratonin, epinephrine, and whatever else they can test for, but dopamine still has a stigma associated with it. Hopefully that’s changing for the better.

The low test thing I dealt with is wild because of its drug classification doctors don’t wanna touch it. The human body truly is a mystery finding the right provider seems to be about the only hope a guy has anymore

 

[R.K.]

Strattera is in the nonstimulant class of meds for ADHD. Ritalin and adderall are stimulants, frequently abused because of same. Stimulants are the first line med choices for treating ADHD.

And I think that is a flawed ranking, given the propensity for abuse, illegal sales, and potential side effects. Yeah, they work quick, but I’m not concerned they work better.

 

[R.K.]

I dont mean this as a joke.
Im glad you are enjoying fishing without stress.

It was a strange realization, to notice that my favorite thing in the world was stressing me out. I’m glad I was able to fix it before it ruined it for me.

 

[kwyeewyk]

- “got a touch of the ‘tism”

My step son and employee both used this phrase, I think it's good to be able to joke about it, but I do appreciate the sensitivity to revealing personal info on the web.

Thanks for the replies. I was very aware of drugs and addiction tendencies in my family as a teenager and that's part of where my pharmaceutical avoidance came from. My brother was using Adderall with his friends as a meth substitute in our early mid 20s when he was on his way to becoming a full-blown addict.

I was aware that using adhd meds when you don't need them gives a speed effect, and had even mentioned this when discussing with my step son, but I just now remembered that the time I tried it wasn't speedy for me at all. I don't think I fit the classic diagnosis, but the dopamine issue seems key.

 

[Hem]

It was a strange realization, to notice that my favorite thing in the world was stressing me out. I’m glad I was able to fix it before it ruined it for me.

Hunting is life...but i was born to hold a fly rod and I will be happy to go face down in the water with rod in hand in the end.
If it brings you joy, then I hope you regain the full passion.