TSA and things that shouldn't be in your carry on

[timberman56]

1. a mechanic friend almost got cavity searched because TSA found a 4'' channel lock pliers in his pocket.. 2. I forgot that I had a knife in my pocket until I was in TSA line, went to the lockers to leave it but didnt have change, put it on top on locker #300 and retrieved it on my return. 3. Friend & I in El Paso airport returning from an Aoudad hunt, had our backpacks as carry-ons. young, good lookin TSA gal w/ dog came around the corner into our concourse 150' away, dog throws nose up and comes to us like we were waving a T-bone steak; she talked to her a few minutes/ she could tell we had been hunting, said the dog was still in training and didnt even open our bags; dang she sure was cute

 

[David58]

I can remember legally and without hassle toting an antique shotgun in my duffle, a carry-on, from Tennessee to Oregon. But that was a few years before 9-11.
I've had empty pistol mags in my carry-on, but the Alabama officer let me run back to the counter and check my bag (I begged - like a kid asking mom in the grocery for a candy in the checkout lane). I've also lost a number of pocket knives, until I finally learned to check my doggoned pockets and put the knife in the checked bag.

 

[MarvB]

Sooo I’ve never had too much of a TSA issue other than having the top come off a jug of vanilla inside my luggage coming back from Mexico but I did have a little oopsie going to to the Happiest Place on Earth one time

The ex and I decided to take our three daughters (ages 3,4, & 8 at the time) to Disneyland one Spring. Knowing that the kids would likely get tired I opted to fight a friggin double stroller piled with all our shit through the masses to the front of the line as the park finally opened. I was still wrangling kids when this way wrapped too tight lady that was taking the tickets (and going through our gear) screams at me and call security. Evidently in my “desire” to get on the road the day before (while the munchkins were still sleeping) I had grabbed the wrong day pack (both very similar in size and camo pattern) while loading the truck and instead of my camera gear the park attendant was holding a couple of skinning knives, a box of .300WM, a can of bear spray.... Made for a long day

 

[LuketheDog]

Checking in at ANC we had 4 coolers of moose meat they were all like 5 lbs over. After telling us how much the overage charge was for each cooler the desk clerk said her husband had not gotten a moose that year, and asked if she could have some of the meat? She found a cooler in the back and took some meat out of each cooler until they were at 50lbs.

Smells like a scam to me, you know she had her thumb on the scale back there, and she just 'happened' to have a cooler in the back? Suuuure...

 

[drexal]

I've had run-ins with airport security but luckily none of them where TSA or hunt related.

1. First time was pre-9/11, I was stationed in Italy. I drove a Honda Prelude that was from mainland Japan, so getting parts for it in Italy was impossible (this was 1996). Anyway, I was heading to Texas for work-related school and decided to throw a caliper that I needed rebuilt in my checked luggage. However, when I get to Dallas, my bag is ripped to pieces and taped back up. Having to deal with this fiasco, I missed my connecting flight so I had to carry my messed up bag to a gate where I would be on standby for a different flight. However, the caliper was picked up as I was going through security. So, I rip the tape off the bag and show them the caliper which no one knew was it was. They had a dozen people congregating around trying to figure it out. All the while I'm thinking... if it was dangerous y'all'd all be in trouble. Eventually, someone with an ounce of mechanical knowledge ID'd the part as non-harmful and I was left trying to tape my bag back together.

2. While station in Turkey (2003), me and some friends took a trip to Amsterdam. After the trip when I get back to Turkey, there is a problem with my passport. I had my original entry stamp, but they didn't exit stamp my passport when I left. So, they said I either had to pay a fine or I couldn't re-enter the country. They pretty much tried to shake me down for money and threatened me with jail. I told them to go ahead and take me to jail. 6 hours later they relented, made adjustments to my passport and let me go.

3. (2004) Another time, I arrived in Bangkok and my passport photo was crinkled, so they thought it was a faked passport. I spend the next two hours explaining that I didn't alter my passport and that the stamps to various countries in the middle-east were work related and I wasn't a danger to Thailand. I ended up having to go to the embassy, replace my passport and present it to them before I left the country.

4. The final thing happened in Cyprus (2006) but didn't exactly involve security. One of the guys I was on deployment with had to go home on emergency. I accompanied him to the airport and he was about to go through security when he abruptly stops, grabs me by the shirt and tells me to meet him in the bathroom. Once there, he reaches into his bag and gives me a smoke grenade he forgot about. So, now I'm in the Cyprus airport (a country that gets regular terrorist threats so security is well-armed) with a grenade shoved in pocket and I have to walk out with a big bulge in my jeans. One of the most uncomfortable walks I've ever made in my life.

 

[Gellar]

Smells like a scam to me, you know she had her thumb on the scale back there, and she just 'happened' to have a cooler in the back? Suuuure...

Cheap way to get meat for the winter!

 

[Gellar]

Sooo I’ve never had too much of a TSA issue other than having the top come off a jug of vanilla inside my luggage coming back from Mexico

Thats happened to my wife. It seems like all her baking friends have her bring back a whole duffel of vanilla when we go to Mexico.
I got stopped in Mexico City and all my stuff was tore apart. It was a late afternoon flight and I took advantage of the all inclusive bar one more time before leaving. I didn’t have anything but I’m sure at the time I fit the profile of someone trying to bring some good stuff home. Our plane was delayed because two college aged girls wanted to sit in the back by the lavatory and no one would trade with them. The one girl went in and you could hear her vomiting despite the flight attendants repeatedly asking them to get in their seats.

 

[morley.tyler]

So, there was an 8-year period (post 9/11) where I averaged ~120K miles a year in the air. One day, early in that career, about 20 people from the X-Ray/metal detector, I did my final pocket check and sh*t, my knife is there. It’s not just a knife, but my beloved Benchmade 940 with a custom engraved blade (Go Vandals). I was short on time, couldn’t make it back to check in the knife, and still make my flight. I decided to roll the dice.

Very quickly, I devised a plan that I thought, might get me through. I do not want to explain how on a public forum, because shockingly it worked.

Chalk it up to arrogance, youth, not having a wife or kids yet, or just being an @sshole, but I took this as license to keep it up. I proceeded to carry that knife for the next 7 years, on every flight, with never a hiccup. This arrogance and defiant attitude took me and my knife across the country, to Canada, Germany, Italy, Switzerland, Hong Kong, as well as Mainland China. I’m well aware, in retrospect, how stupid this was. But, it just kept working… until one sunny afternoon in Boston.

That day my backpack seemed to be getting a little extra scrutiny, but I didn’t give it a second thought. The next thing I know, I’m in a windowless room with a Massachusetts State Trooper. As I walked into the room, I noticed his boots.

The conversation went like this:

Trooper: "Is this your bag sir?"

Me: "Yessir"

Trooper: "All of the contents of this bag belong to you?"

Me: "Yessir"

Trooper: "Including the knife?"

Me: "Yessir"

Trooper: "Where are you headed?"

Me: "Home, Portland, I’m here on business"

Trooper: "What do you do?"

Me: "I manage product for XXX Boots"

Trooper: "Really, I’m wearing XXX Boots."

Me: "Yessir, I noticed…"



I think you know where this is headed. The knife beat me to the office in a FedEx package. Allegedly, the trooper never had to worry about buying boots again.

 

[AvidIndoorsman]

So, there was an 8-year period (post 9/11) where I averaged ~120K miles a year in the air. One day, early in that career, about 20 people from the X-Ray/metal detector, I did my final pocket check and sh*t, my knife is there. It’s not just a knife, but my beloved Benchmade 940 with a custom engraved blade (Go Vandals). I was short on time, couldn’t make it back to check in the knife, and still make my flight. I decided to roll the dice.

Very quickly, I devised a plan that I thought, might get me through. I do not want to explain how on a public forum, because shockingly it worked.

Chalk it up to arrogance, youth, not having a wife or kids yet, or just being an @sshole, but I took this as license to keep it up. I proceeded to carry that knife for the next 7 years, on every flight, with never a hiccup. This arrogance and defiant attitude took me and my knife across the country, to Canada, Germany, Italy, Switzerland, Hong Kong, as well as Mainland China. I’m well aware, in retrospect, how stupid this was. But, it just kept working… until one sunny afternoon in Boston.

That day my backpack seemed to be getting a little extra scrutiny, but I didn’t give it a second thought. The next thing I know, I’m in a windowless room with a Massachusetts State Trooper. As I walked into the room, I noticed his boots.

The conversation went like this:

Trooper: "Is this your bag sir?"

Me: "Yessir"

Trooper: "All of the contents of this bag belong to you?"

Me: "Yessir"

Trooper: "Including the knife?"

Me: "Yessir"

Trooper: "Where are you headed?"

Me: "Home, Portland, I’m here on business"

Trooper: "What do you do?"

Me: "I manage product for XXX Boots"

Trooper: "Really, I’m wearing XXX Boots."

Me: "Yessir, I noticed…"



I think you know where this is headed. The knife beat me to the office in a FedEx package. Allegedly, the trooper never had to worry about buying boots again.

 

[nettereo16]

Checking in at ANC we had 4 coolers of moose meat they were all like 5 lbs over. After telling us how much the overage charge was for each cooler the desk clerk said her husband had not gotten a moose that year, and asked if she could have some of the meat? She found a cooler in the back and took some meat out of each cooler until they were at 50lbs.

Meat extortion!

 

[thusby]

1. Wife stuffed a swiss army in my carry-on without telling me. It went into the garbage because I was running late.
2. Wife looks at me mid-flight once and says, "what do I do with this?". Proceeds to show me canister of pepper spray. My answer, "not a damn thing". We managed to get off without incident.
3. Made the grave mistake of wearing boxers with a button on them. TSA waves me over and I get the line, "sir, there is an anomaly in your groin area". I was about to say "thank you", but then proceeded to get groped by a very large man. Those boxers went in the garbage when I arrived at my destination.

 

[morley.tyler]

I was about to say "thank you", but then proceeded to get groped by a very large man.

The perks of a 1st Class ticket are getting CRAZY

 

[Lost Arra]

Daughter won a folding hunting knife at a Ducks Unlimited event. The next morning she is rushing to the airport as her sister is expecting baby in Florida. TSA asks to rescan her purse and returned it "everything is fine". She gets on the plane and realizes the knife is still in her purse. Since she did not check a bag she was going to give it to my wife who did check a bag in Fla.

Baby comes at last minute. Daughter almost misses flight back home and she forgot the knife again. And again it passes thru TSA.
Go figure.

 

[BuzzH]

I got nabbed by TSA once, had a leatherman in my carry-on.

They took it of course and I went on my way. Got home and emptied my carry-on. Found a 50 pack of Havelon blades I forgot I put in there about a year before.

Good thing they found that leatherman.

 

[Cornell2012]

When I was in college I had a small multitool that got buried in the fold of my backpack. I thought I lost it and thought nothing of it. I used this backpack to fly several times a year for the duration of college, and it wasn't until my senior year that this multitool got flagged by TSA. I made it through security 10+ times before TSA noticed.

 

[utah400elk]

I have a bit of a twisted sense of humor…when I was a deputy sheriff, I was traveling with my SGT. He was not paying attention and my buddy and I slipped a steak knife in his carry on. We were all narcotic detectives at the time. The other detective and I have long hair and looked like crap after a three day narcotic officer conference (CNOA). We were not flying armed. He was clean cut but was pulled for an extra search. We laughed our ass’s off about the inconvenience. He was puzzled as to why they let two hair bags go in noticed but he was pulled. He was sooooo mad when they showed him the steak knife. I still chuckle about that trip. He got over it quickly and we had a bit of grunt work because of the TSA stunt but it was well worth it.

I had another time TSA took my keychain Leatherman from my car keys. I was traveling armed as a LEO but they would not let me have a tiny Leatherman beacause of the blade. They said I could have a firearm but not a knife. Was not worth the argument but another TSA funny.

I guess it was karma for my past discretions.

 

[homers]

Got stopped by security when I had 2, 20 count, boxes of empty rifle brass in my carry on. Fired, deprimed and cleaned. I knew I was going to get pulled aside when the X ray person was looking at the bag for some time, looked around, and then signaled for secondary screening. Screen asked me if there was anything dangerous in the bag, I said no. She then called for backup police and for the bomb squad to be notified. Police showed up and she really helped control the situation once she saw what it was. TSA still did explosives tests, screened me but cancelled the bomb squad. Police told me politely that it would probably be better to check it next time and off I went (got to keep my brass).

 

[Otto Matic]

Checking in at ANC we had 4 coolers of moose meat they were all like 5 lbs over. After telling us how much the overage charge was for each cooler the desk clerk said her husband had not gotten a moose that year, and asked if she could have some of the meat? She found a cooler in the back and took some meat out of each cooler until they were at 50lbs.

That 50 pound thing is a "magic number" to get in and out of ANC! LOL!

Last time on Kodiak, my b-i-l had 195 pounds of frozen fish. I had Island Seafood add 5 pounds of smoked salmon to the light box.

 

[BackofBeyond]

On a trip back to the states from Haiti, my brother-in-law's sister asked me to take him some mamba pike (spicy peanut butter), and casav (a flat bread made from coconut and casava root.) So I stuffed the 1/2 gallon of peanut butter, and a grocery sack of flat bread in my carry-on and away we went. Got to Florida, through customs, and was on my way back through TSA when I started getting looks from the TSA agent on the x-ray. He motioned for a supervisor, who looked at me and said "what's in the bucket?" I said "it's called Mamba Pike, it's a spicy peanut butter." She then asked me in Kreyol "what's in the bag?" Which I responded to, in Kreyol "casav of course, how else are you going to eat mamba pike?"

She complimented me on my Kreyol, and sent me on my way.

 

[Gellar]

That 50 pound thing is a "magic number" to get in and out of ANC! LOL!

Last time on Kodiak, my b-i-l had 195 pounds of frozen fish. I had Island Seafood add 5 pounds of smoked salmon to the light box.

We didn’t have a scale when we were packing the coolers at my brothers house. We just did the ol’ feels about even thing. We were close, but close only counts in horseshoes. The whole trip was a rodeo, but they always are with my brother,