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The Season of Stupid (& elk)

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It was recommended by another HTer on a text thread that before I jump into Saturday... this gif needed to be posted 🤣

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Just a quick note.

I've never read the manual, but chains fit and work just fine on my 2012 tundra, with both stock and oversized tires. If I was in @MtnElk shoes I wouldn't give a flying frick what Toyota says I should or shouldn't be doing, I'd get where I needed to go.
 
SATURDAY

Alarm goes off. damn I slept like a champ, wasn't expecting that. Time to chase MEGA BULL. throw off the covers and excitement is met with the bitter cold. F its cold. Better get dressed and moving to warm myself up. D up a few mins later. Game time.

At the trail right at 5 am, our co-hunters are there too. Everyone is ready. The stoke is real. The air is cold AF. We start hiking and no more than 20 steps in, we step over our first deadfall, I put my left trekking pole out and swing my leg over, and snap! Trekking pole breaks. WTF. WTF. WTF. To make matters worse, the one that snapped was actually my good trekking pole. The other one was slightly bent during a high alpine adventure run a few years ago. I am not pumped about this, especially given that we have a snowy inbound hike with deadfall in the middle and then a pretty steep downhill. Oh well, shit happens. Let's move on.

We hike the first mile of the three mile inbound and hit deadfall. At this point, I was right behind D again after falling a little behind, but he flipping torched me during the deadfall section. he is 6'2" I think and I am 5'10", but I have a long torso and shorter legs. he was like a freaking gazelle in that deadfall - in pitch black, head lamp only light by the way - and as fascinating as it was to watch, I was also trying like hell to keep up.

Where he could step up and over and bounce like a prancing deer through deadfall, I was rolling over logs and having to swing legs and was anything but graceful. Again, nothing new - no one has ever looked at me and gone "wow what a graceful dude"... except maybe on ice skates during hockey.


We take slight detour by following some guys that hit the trail before us and realize we skipped the trail and made this a little harder on ourselves. oh well, 649 we are 2.5 miles into our 3 mile hike and the rest is downhill. Start descending with D, myself and one of the WV guys (the other is behind, but catching up). We are just above the body of water when the WV guy J spots a bull at the water and starts to descend. We wish him luck and head onto our spot to find mega bull. I am excited and trying to breathe quietly and keep me eyes out.

We reach our spot and drop down. I am going to glass the aspens and open meadow where the bull bedded last night and D is going to glass down off the ridge to see what happens from the private pressure coming from all directions down below and the public pressure of WV and others on the public down and to our right. Suddenly we hear gun shots. A lot of them. It's a firefight. I think there was 5 or 6 shots. 2 of them I could hear a WHAP, but that was it. Sounded like some fancy scopes weren't living up to their promises of auto correcting for wind and distance and showing you where to shoot. But it also could have been someone else.

We sit for maybe an hour without seeing anything moving in our area and decide to press closer to the ridge spot and see if the bull filtered through the aspens over to the other small herd, where he would def be the dominant bull. We take no more than 20 steps when D looks back, stops dead in his tracks and goes PSSSSST. and waves me over. As I am running over he throws his back on the ground and has his range finder out. A volley of shots from below and to our right has pushed a bunch of bulls, spikes and few calf less cows up and over a ridge below us and heading our direction, albeit it below us on a lower bench. I drop prone, load a round and am on the scope at a 30 degree down angle, less than 200 yards. He tells me to go for a bull and not a cow. I am on them, but they are moving too fast for my comfort level... there is no stop or slowing as they are walking on flat ground. No ethical shot for me in this location.

They filter through and D tells me to pop up and just bring my gun. out of sight as the herd filters to our left, we run left on the ridge. he slams his trekking poles into the ground, forming an X and tells me to get on them. We have a REALLY good chance here. The elk are coming up a slick hillside and are now moving in a tight formation, and at every turn in the trail, there is a backup. I am on a knee, gun on the sticks, scope on the elk. D is on the glass watching for the 5x5 bull from the group. he was in the back before, but now he is in the middle. He tells me to hold...
 
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D: "Here he comes, you ready?"
B: "yes, I see him now"

I breathe deeply. I watch his head come into view, the large pine behind him. It's where the elk make an L in the trail and go from walking right to turning left-ish and going up. It puts them all broadside. And the bull does me one better. Instead of giving me the 2 sec pause and turn, he stops and looks around. Giving me about 5 seconds to shoot.

I breathe out, focus on the crosshairs. Sitting perfectly behind his shoulder and accommodating for the angle. I slowly pull the trigger and CLICK.


WHAT. THE. F^&*. I am panicking, I know I loaded a round the first time we were on them, what happened. And that kids, is when I realized I had broken the cardinal rule of all sporting... I made a change to my equipment before the big game. After D's 4 round cow in WY, I worried that loading my 4 round mag with only 3 rounds was not enough. So after ONLY ever shooting with a 3 round loaded mag and then a backup 3 round loaded mag... I put 4 in and I think the spring was not functioning as well (which was why I only ever loaded 3 because I hated how it felt with 4).

I am panicking that I just #@)(*%* it all up. I dropped the mag out, slide the 4th round out and slam it back in and am on the elk again. The bull is long gone. and the herd has been moving through. D is watching for me through binos and I watch them through my scope. There are several spikes and cows all together and about 5 go through before I have a legal (not a spike) or ethical (nothing behind the elk I am targeting) shot. He tells me to calm down and if I am ready shoot a cow. Before he can finish the ow in cow, I breathe out and pull the trigger on a big, fat cow that just started up the hill.

BOOM
THWAP

I look up and all I can see is this cow rolling over backwards down the hill... and fast. More panic. I hear D yell that her front legs are still kicking. So immediately I am worried that she is hurt and not dead and I feel terrible that his poor animal is not only tumbling down a hill, but might not be dead when we find her. If I am going to kill something, I don't want it to suffer first. that would break me. I pop up, loaded another round, safety on, back pack on and we start running the ridgeline. D is in front of me and watches her as long as we can.

he drops down the hill and immediately we realize what a shit show this is going to be as there is no good footing. Again, the gazelle manages to descend a lot faster and without losing his footing as many times as I do. I am slipping and sliding, I am all over the place. My body surging with adrenaline, I just embrace the slide and start finding safe space to just slide on down where I can, and hustle on foot where I can get a good traction.

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All of a sudden, I hear a cackle from D and know this cannot be good. I dropped too far below him and have to have him talk to me so that I can find him. I find him, sitting on his butt boiling water with a stupid, mischievous smile on his face. He goes "she's within 20 yards of me". I start walking to him and looking around in all directions and can't see shit. He then gives me some more clues... like I'm playing hot / cold with my 9 year old. I take a few steps behind up and smell something to my right. I look to my right and in between two bushes is the cow. Of course she landed like that, in that spot... tumbling 300 vertical feet in a matter of 450 horizontal feet from the ridge.

As they lay... completely f$%^ed.

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Bullet came out her right side dead center in her lungs. We think it clipped the spine on entrance and so only her front legs could kick. Which it what deacon saw.


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Just a quick note.

I've never read the manual, but chains fit and work just fine on my 2012 tundra, with both stock and oversized tires. If I was in @MtnElk shoes I wouldn't give a flying frick what Toyota says I should or shouldn't be doing, I'd get where I needed to go.

With stock rims? I have a '14 and it looks like the fronts would be really tight on clearance...
 
With stock rims? I have a '14 and it looks like the fronts would be really tight on clearance...
Oh, it’s really tight. Hence the tight as all get out to prevent movement. No loose pieces on the inside either. I had to cut mine down for the perfect fit. I was rallying with big nasty chains on though and have for years. There is a reason there are so many bungees on the fronts
 
At this point, I breathe a sigh of relief and D captures the most terrible, but accurate photo of me ever. It perfectly encapsulates my feelings at the time.

Knowing I finally got an elk. Knowing that elk just made the pack out straight hell (300 vertical feet in 450 horizontal feet). Knowing she landed in a terrible spot. Knowing the work was just beginning

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I give D the biggest bear hug and thank him profusely. @Dsnow9 has become an incredible mentor and hunting partner, and best of all, a great friend. For nearly 9 months we have been building up to this moment and I was really proud of have shown him how much I have learned and deliver on all that education.

I also confided in him something I never even told my wife - there was a part of me that was worried I would have my scope on an elk and not be able to pull the trigger. I have killed and consumed a ton of fish in my life, and have had to kill chickens, pigs and cattle before. But I was worried I might not be able to do it. I was very wrong. I was extremely surprised that in spite of the rodeo it became because of the jam, I was still and that crosshair was not moving at all. Steady.

I busted out my tag, grabbed a pen and other than buying our house in the mountains, this was the most excited I have ever been to sign a piece of paper

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It was at this point, that D told me to boil some water and make a meal. So that it could prep while we relocated this elk to an area where we could work on her. D asked me to take a video of him going all HeMan on her and yanking her out of the trees.


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After we got her to a stable and "tolerable" place to start cutting her up, the real work began. (In case you are new hunter or considering be a new hunter, reading this, I am going to share something I have now learned... the only fun part about elk hunting is locating them in the unit you are hunting them in. The rest of it is terribly hard work. So unless you like that kind of suffering, I would advise against it. That said, I am stupid and love it. But shit, seeing the elk is the only fun part about elk hunting lol)


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Now I will not pretend like I did all the cutting or even half the cutting. We had fairly perfect temps for an education session, so D did about 70-75% of the cutting, and I watched a lot and then attempted to repeat where he told me too. I will also say that cutting these animals up is immensely harder than they make it look in tutorial videos. Elk are massive creatures and ones to respect when you think about where to shoot them. because they are not easy to move.

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2.5 hours later she was bagged, tagged and ready for pack out. We decided to eat first as we knew things were about to get a little SPICY given the slick conditions.
 
You're really checking off all the boxes on the "things that go wrong elk hunting" bingo card quickly, props for getting the dry fire out of your mind and connecting on the next chance, I've seen a few guys completely fall apart when the gun didn't go bang the first time...

also, big congrats on the first elk! it all gets easier from there.
 
You're really checking off all the boxes on the "things that go wrong elk hunting" bingo card quickly, props for getting the dry fire out of your mind and connecting on the next chance, I've seen a few guys completely fall apart when the gun didn't go bang the first time...

also, big congrats on the first elk! it all gets easier from there.
Oh man, the boxes aren’t done being checked on this hunt yet!
 

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