Spouse Stress/Anxiety Condition

[Zim]

Does anyone have a spouse with a serious stress/anxiety condition? I am beginning to wonder if my hunting/fishing activities are permanently over. My wife is 62 and just developed this condition which we are trying to address if a psychiatrist ever becomes available near us. Was finally able to move up to tomorrow for an initial visit, after multiple trips to the ER & mental health facilities. She was perfectly normal until 9 months ago, then the strange behavior began. It comes and goes. She was in a hospital for a week in China. I got her back in the US 4/26 where she was normal for two months. Then symptoms returned. Severe chest discomfort, short breath, cannot walk, lost 10 pounds. They brought her back to normal twice at the ER, only to return to near paralyzed the next day. I know if a psychiatrist ever sees her, they should be able to stabilize her eventually. But I'm wondering if any of you had a spouse with this type condition. And if so, were the meds good enough to stabilize her to where you were able to leave her home alone while you went on a hunting trip? I invested a lot over the years. Have as many as 30 points built up in seven states. Now educating myself on this condition, wondering if it's realistic for me to go anywhere. Very curious what is reasonable to expect when it comes to treatment. Thx.

 

[kodiakisland]

I’m a clinical pharmacist in infectious disease but you can pm me if you want to about specific issues. I do a little psych medicine but not much. Usually you see these issues in the 20s and not so much later unless there are underlying issues. Best of luck to you as I know it’s very frustrating for both of you.

As far as the gone from home or risk management issues, yes, I have a spouse with some severe anxiety issues at times and have had to make accommodations to be gone for weeks at a time, but also have family within a mile from home that can help.

 

[jimh406]

No, my spouse isn't in that condition. However, there is more and more coming out that says mental state and nutrition can be related. I think I'd look into a Holistic Doctor and do a full blood workup.

Good luck.

 

[Hawk Tuah]

I'd find a functional medicine doctor to look more deeply into it.

A psychiatrist could certainly help, but they'll use drugs to mask the symptoms. This can be effective.

A functional med doctor will try to treat the cause if he can find it. They deep dive into blood, stool etc, but can often figure out if there is an underlying issue.

 

[TOGIE]

I have a friend (neighbor) with fairly severe anxiety-panic spectrum disorder and associated agoraphobia.

He's been in and out of doctors with vestibular migraine issues, regular migraine issues, severe fatigue, ocular migraine issues, chronic sleep issues. He's had all the scans, all the blood work up, the sleep studies. He's been to neurologists, psychiatrists, primary care doctors, therapists, cardiovascular specialists, functional medicine doctors and EVERY doctor he's seen has said basically the same thing: functionally, medically, there is nothing wrong with you, these are physical manifestations of severe anxiety.

He's been at this for like 7-10 years trying basically everything under the sun but traditional meds and he's finally starting to accept that meds have to be a part of the solution.

Psychiatric meds don't mask the symptoms of legitimate psychiatric disorders, they physicially address the issue and traditional therapy is impossible until you re-balance that chemistry.

Sometimes that chemistry can see some rebalancing with functional medicine, nutrition, exercise, etc. Sometimes maybe even cure the issue. But it is so dependent on the actual cause of the chemical imbalance in the brain. For some, functional medicine is a savior. For others, it simply has to be SSRI's.

Evaluate every option.

 

[FamilyMan]

Having been down the mental health road with family members all I can say is remain supportive, remind her often that you love her the way she is, and seek help for yourself as well as for her. There are no quick fixes.

 

[AntelopeEater]

SSRI’s can absolutely treat some people’s chronic anxiety issues. Our modern 2026 urbanized world and diet and pollution with crap like microplastics everywhere isn’t good for peoples brains long term and there is no shame in taking a medication to have a better quality of life.

If legal in your area medical marijuana, and/or “hemp” , especially stuff with a 1:1 ratio of THC:CBD can, in LOW doses temporarily relive anxiety; however high doses of THC could worsen anxiety and potentially trigger psychosis.

 

[Ben Long]

Having been down the mental health road with family members all I can say is remain supportive, remind her often that you love her the way she is, and seek help for yourself as well as for her. There are no quick fixes.

Ditto.

 

[recon6036]

My brother (best friend) had a nervous breakdown due to stress and anxiety. I tried, for a long time, to get him to seek help and remove himself from the situation(s) that caused him stress and anxiety, but he refused.
I ended up having him forcefully committed for mental health treatment.
Unfortunately, they kept him for a few days, gave him medication to take and sent him out the door.
Of course he failed to take his meds, started drinking heavily and relapsed into a mental health state that I knew he’d never return from.
March 8, 2018, he died at the age of 53. I wish there was more I would have done, I think our nations mental health system sucks balls and I miss him.
Not trying to be negative and I wish you, and your spouse, the best.

 

[BenP]

Environment can have a huge impact too, I am learning that clutter and excessive amounts of items in our house sets my wife into a flight or fight mode and can be a not so fun experience. We are working on cleaning things out and creating "safe" spaces to be in. Also more sunshine and ground time seems to help.

But no matter what, women have a disadvantage compared to us. Their hormones are a nightmare and especially after having kids, their entire body is depleted of things and hormones are all out of whack that affect mood and anxiety.

 

[INMT]

My brother (best friend) had a nervous breakdown due to stress and anxiety. I tried, for a long time, to get him to seek help and remove himself from the situation(s) that caused him stress and anxiety, but he refused.
I ended up having him forcefully committed for mental health treatment.
Unfortunately, they kept him for a few days, gave him medication to take and sent him out the door.
Of course he failed to take his meds, started drinking heavily and relapsed into a mental health state that I knew he’d never return from.
March 8, 2018, he died at the age of 53. I wish there was more I would have done, I think our nations mental health system sucks balls and I miss him.
Not trying to be negative and I wish you, and your spouse, the best.

I think you did everything you could. So sorry to hear this story. Cheers to your brother.

 

[mtmuley]

Having been down the mental health road with family members all I can say is remain supportive, remind her often that you love her the way she is, and seek help for yourself as well as for her. There are no quick fixes.

Been there. Am there. We are getting there. mtmuley

 

[schmalts]

Did they rule out any crazy hormone stuff from menopause? That's always a fun time for both spouses....

 

[huntin24/7]

Did they rule out any crazy hormone stuff from menopause? That's always a fun time for both spouses....

I think there are a lot of problems tied to hormone imbalances for both men and women where traditional clinics have no interest in looking into that option. I’ve been encouraging my wife for a while to get hers checked mainly because she’s had less energy, not felt overall as good, etc. she finally got checked, and her testosterone was at 8(should be 100-250) for women. Progesterone was also in the toilet. Her doctor says fixing this should help tremendously. She just started these this week. I think a lot more people who aren’t feeling themselves physically or mentally should at least look into this is an issue.

 

[Matthew57]

Sorry to hear that man. I don’t have any experience with that myself, but I’d be very nervous to leave her for very long.

 

[kwyeewyk]

My wife has severe panic and anxiety, and menopause definitely put an extra spin on things. Part of that is a having a major fear of drugs, so she's always refused any kind of prescription treatment. The last time she went to the doctor about it they prescribed her some kind of powerful antihistamine that is not addictive and has virtually no side effects other than maybe drowsiness (didn't affect her much), she seemed to think it was helpful, and was wondering how it hadn’t been recommended to her before. Looks like it's hydroxyzine, they told her she could take it anytime she thinks she needs it, might be worth looking into.