Sh*t our wives do...

[Art Vandeley]

I'm laffin. Just remembered I also dropped my wife at the detail shop two years ago to have her drive my pickup back to the house. I watch her back out of the parking spot, turn too sharp and side swipe a telephone pole with it....

 

[pre6422hornet]

You know for all the crap I give my wife for leaving the trucks on empty, pulling weeds in the flower beds and leaving them in piles for me to grab, or always calling me 2 minutes after leaving the grocery store to tell me to grab something else she forgot to tell me.....

I wouldn't change a thing. We have 4 amazing daughters and I always have a full beer fridge that she checks and restocks. I pick my battles

 

[AvidIndoorsman]

So we're newly weds, have our first little starter home. just bought a brand new truck that spring. In the winter we get our first real snow and I tell my wife to go ahead and take the truck, I'd walk to work. She leaves before I have to get up. I get the kiss goodbye in the morning, hear the truck start up, then am just drifting off and hear a loud BANG! I pop out of bed and run to the door, open it, and just see the trucks taillights heading down the street. I run back in and call my wife. She doesn't answer. I text her, "What just happened?" no response. That evening I get home and discover she'd driven the truck over the neighbors retaining wall! put a giant dent under the passenger side, the doors barely opened.
"How the hell do you run over a retaining wall!?!"
"I didn't see it"
"It's a retaining wall!!!"

My wife can deftly park, back up, unload etc a dually towing a horse trailer completely solo, really good at trailering boats… woman cannot parallel park a car in the city to save her life.

 

[NoWiser]

Last Saturday I was working outside and saw the garage cat puke on my shop floor. I walked over and saw a roundworm in the puke pile so I called my wife (in the house with the kids) to see if she could find a dewormer online. She says she’ll go to Tractor Supply, about 20 minutes away, to get some. After I was done with my stuff I went into the house to see the kids:

Wife: “You took too long outside, if I go to Tractor Supply now, I won’t have time for a nap.”

Me: “Sorry”

Wife: “I’m going to go feed the ponies, you go to the store with the kids”

Me: “No problem”

I played a quick game of Jenga with my daughter, loaded both kiddos in the truck, and headed to the store. Phone rings - my wife.

Me: “Hi Dear”

Wife: “Where the heck are you?”

Me: “On my way to the store with the kids”

Wife: “Why would you take them to the store? They are going to fall asleep in the truck instead of at nap time and I won’t be able to sleep!”

Me: “You told me to take them

Wife: “Well, you weren’t actually supposed to do it, you should have just waited for me to come in”

Me: Silence…

 

[dirtclod Az.]

My wife has had a truly impressive streak of not being wrong for about the last 20 years. Amazing!

How old is she 21?

 

[gouch]

Does anyone else's wife insist on scrubbing the seasoning out of your cast iron skillet? Mine does but I think it might be a ploy to get me to clean the pan myself right after using it.

 

[Lilhowie83]

Does anyone else's wife insist on scrubbing the seasoning out of your cast iron skillet? Mine does but I think it might be a ploy to get me to clean the pan myself right after using it.

My wife doesn't dare touch any of my cast iron.

 

[WildWill]

Man I thought my wife was a bad driver but some of these stories are making me feel lucky. She's never done any serious damage to either vehicle hell wouldn't mind her wrecking my truck a little. Then maybe I could live down sliding her Acadia into our rod iron gate last winter during a ice storm when I turned in a little to hot with her and both kids in the car. Everyone was fine except my pride and gate. One complaint I find 3-4 scrape/dings a year on her car she never sees them first and when I point them out never a clue as to how they got there. At first I thought she had to be playing dumb because she thought I'd be mad or something but I'm not so sure that's the case anymore. For instance I find a giant scratch in the middle of her driver door pretty obvious someone opened their door in to hers not her fault no big deal. When I show her she seems genuinely surprised and pissed and swore she hadn't seen it. It was a giant blue scratch in the middle of the driver door how do you not see it? Yet she cuts a inch of her hair that's past her shoulder blades and I don't notice I'm a idiot.

 

[Ben Lamb]

ZipLock bags in the fridge, or the pantry, never, never completely sealed, just folded over. Leftovers put in the garage, because, "It is too hot to put in the fridge right now", stays in the 45 deg garage overnight, perfect temp for bacteria growth, "Oops, it will be fine". Must have built up immunity over the years, still kicking.

WHY IS THE TORTILLA BAG ALWAYS 1/3 OPEN!?!?!

 

[Beignet]

My girlfriend has an occasional lurk around on HT. She saw this thread title and said that she expected the worst, but that it turned out to be one of the more wholesome things she’s seen in a while.

Good folks here!

 

[JDH]

Anybody else's Tupperware stash in their cabinet look like a bomb went off after their SO puts the dishes away?

 

[WildWill]

Anybody else's Tupperware stash in their cabinet look like a bomb went off after their SO puts the dishes away?

Always! And when I find the SOB who's stealing the lids we're going to have a serious talk.

 

[MarvB]

Anybody else's Tupperware stash in their cabinet look like a bomb went off after their SO puts the dishes away?

Mine went through a phase of keeping Tupperware with no matching lids and putting press-n-seal over them. I went through the cupboard and tossed all the mismatched shit out! Damn was there hell to pay, you’d a thought I’d thrown out one of the kids!

 

[gouch]

Mine went through a phase of keeping Tupperware with no matching lids and putting press-n-seal over them. I went through the cupboard and tossed all the mismatched shit out! Damn was there hell to pay, you’d a thought I’d thrown out one of the kids!

Been there.

 

[Clam]

I have an odd one. Caps. My wife won’t screw a cap back on a container most of the time after opening it- especially spices, vitamins -kitchen stuff. She only lays it on top and if you don’t know better, SURPRISE! You have a mess on your hands.

I’ve never mentioned it, but I am cautious handling all screw cap containers she has access to.

Thankfully, she is pretty good with sealing ziplocks all the way.

 

[Gellar]

I have an odd one. Caps. My wife won’t screw a cap back on a container most of the time after opening it- especially spices, vitamins -kitchen stuff. She only lays it on top and if you don’t know better, SURPRISE! You have a mess on your hands.

I’ve never mentioned it, but I am cautious handling all screw cap containers she has access to.

Thankfully, she is pretty good with sealing ziplocks all the way.

I thought I was the only one. I don’t grab anything without testing the lid.

 

[Sasquatchewan]

Today's our 15 year anniversary and I am just sitting here drinking a fruity IPA and reminiscing about our time together...

... then I suddenly remember when she had me re-arrange all the picture frames in the stairwell and I found a finishing nail, nailed backwards...

 

[AvidIndoorsman]

I have an odd one. Caps. My wife won’t screw a cap back on a container most of the time after opening it- especially spices, vitamins -kitchen stuff. She only lays it on top and if you don’t know better, SURPRISE! You have a mess on your hands.

I’ve never mentioned it, but I am cautious handling all screw cap containers she has access to.

Thankfully, she is pretty good with sealing ziplocks all the way.

X2

 

[SwaggyD]

X2

X3

 

[BrentD]

I have an odd one. Caps. My wife won’t screw a cap back on a container most of the time after opening it- especially spices, vitamins -kitchen stuff. She only lays it on top and if you don’t know better, SURPRISE! You have a mess on your hands.

I’ve never mentioned it, but I am cautious handling all screw cap containers she has access to.

Thankfully, she is pretty good with sealing ziplocks all the way.

Oh how I know! Absolutely, I have seen this countless times.