Questions about life

Quick Draw

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Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles
are always white?

Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message 'one slice'?
How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to
stuff in that slot?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to
give their vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first
try?

How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?

Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not
then what was the purpose of the bath?

Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your
clothes would they eventually just disappear?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its all
right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you
stupid idiot'?

Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs and you get to the top
you always think there's still one more step?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash
pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?

Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering
what the heck happened?

If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who
really is the dumber sex?

Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just
as needy throughout the rest of the year?

Why is it that when men get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the
flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks?

How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife
told you to? (Works for me!)
Quick Draw
 
Those are good...I've got a few answers for ya...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not
then what was the purpose of the bath?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I've often wondered the same thing...I used to wash my towels after every use like most people do, but as I got older and more sensible (and cheap and lazy) I just hang them back up to dry and use the same towel over and over for at least 2 weeks. Why waste all that money on electricity when I could be spending it on guns, boots, binoculars, etc?


<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Another good question, also having to do with wasting electricity, and I think this may be a woman thing, but only because I've had girlfriends that do this. They would want the air conditioning down to 68 in the summer when it's 95 degrees outside, yet in the winter they want to turn the heat up to 75! Makes absolutely no sense.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who
really is the dumber sex?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

If this is what intelligence is based on, then obviously men are the smarter sex, because what practical value is a diamond? None whatsoever! Dogs hunt, what do diamond do that is useful?
biggrin.gif


<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ 01-15-2004 13:13: Message edited by: Washington Hunter ]</font>
 
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your
clothes would they eventually just disappear <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

They do disappear, it takes the form of the missing sock.
 
You'd think with as much lint as I remove from the dryer screen after each wash load that all my clothes would have disappeared by now.
eek.gif
Guess flannel and denim can lose quite a bit before it becomes obvious.

BTW...I got a kick out of these!
smile.gif
Honestly though, diamonds do a poor job of fetching waterfowl.
elkgrin.gif


-RW-

<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ 01-15-2004 22:46: Message edited by: RogueWarrior1957 ]</font>
 
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its all
right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you
stupid idiot'?


That along with a few more choice words. But we always say, That's all right.
 
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It sure as heck does in this house. Do I ever get off this thing?
 
Wolfeman, that's a good point, that one never occured to me. How about "tuna fish?" Why is the word "fish" used after tuna? You don't hear people saying I had salmon fish for dinner.
confused.gif
 
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wait, lets get back to the missing sock?????? where the hell can they go?? the can't get out of the dryer on their own , can they??
 
I dunno but a good trick is when you have some mates over for a few bevvies and one passes out is to put both socks on one foot and then watch him try to find the missing one.
tongue.gif
 
heres one more for you, mortaly wounded????? why not just say killed, or dead?????or how about " live studio audience"??? is there a dead studio audience????
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rolleyes.gif
 
Two phrases that get me a wee bit:

"Shot to death" You hear this one all the time on the news networks...but you never hear of someone being "shot to life!"

In the obits, you read something like "cremation has occurred"...isn't that the same as spontaneous human combustion?
eek.gif


(Ramblings of a Rogue mind)

<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ 01-17-2004 01:05: Message edited by: RogueWarrior1957 ]</font>
 
Favorite oxymoron of the day: "MicroSoft Works" Can you tell I have had a rough day with this one-eyed monster?
biggrin.gif


-RW-
 
Wht do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?

What happens if we get scared half to death twice?

We know the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second what is the speed of dark?

And Rogue my favorite oxymoron is Military Intelligence
 
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