"Pulling rank" during the Christmas season

[WildWill]

I think it was about a week, maybe less, after my kids said their first word that they realized if mom and dad say no grandma will buy it.

If I had a nickel for everytime my parents or in-laws "pulled rank" I'd have have a sh!+ ton of nickels. They earned that right!

 

[TX Trophy Hunter]

If I had a nickel for everytime my parents or in-laws "pulled rank" I'd have have a sh!+ ton of nickels. They earned that right!

I disagree. They had 18 years to be a parent and make decisions. I will gladly take advice from them any time, but I have the final decision on parenting my own children.

 

[Carnage2011]

I disagree. They had 18 years to be a parent and make decisions. I will gladly take advice from them any time, but I have the final decision on parenting my own children.

If your child receiving a doll from their grandparents for Christmas is such a big deal...you're in for much bigger issues. You sound like a controlling, micromanaging parent that finds out the hard way when their kids go to college. Good luck sir!

 

[WildWill]

I disagree. They had 18 years to be a parent and make decisions.

And they did such a good job I trust them completely. If that scenario would cause as you put it " a high risk of causing strain in their future relationship" there's already a big problem.

 

[mevertsen]

If your child receiving a doll from their grandparents for Christmas is such a big deal...you're in for much bigger issues. You sound like a controlling, micromanaging parent that finds out the hard way when their kids go to college. Good luck sir!

Question is, do we know if the mother bought a similar doll already and was waiting for Christmas to give it to them? That would be an interesting surprise.

I guess my point would be for the grandparents to make sure the gift will be good for the grand daughter, or at the very least find out the reason she said "no" in the first place.

My in-laws are notorious for duplicate buying gifts for our kids. Not a huge deal, but how many of the same size and theme pajamas can a kid really use in one year, year after year...

My mother in law just bought our youngest a Christmas dress. Same color as the one my wife made, both with the intent for her to wear at the musical coming up. Mother in law gave to to our daughter at Thanksgiving.

My wife made the one just a bit big last year for another event, and she wanted one more year out of it. I don’t think its a huge deal, but just aggravating.

All they have to do is say, "here's our plan."

 

[The_Jim]

@TX Trophy Hunter sounds like I'm not the only one who has had boomer parents & in-laws just blatantly disregard the boundaries we put in place for our children...

If that's the case for the OP then, yes you're daughter is probably going to be pissed when that gift is opened. If not, it's probably not a big deal. A little communication goes a long way.

 

[TX Trophy Hunter]

If your child receiving a doll from their grandparents for Christmas is such a big deal...you're in for much bigger issues. You sound like a controlling, micromanaging parent that finds out the hard way when their kids go to college. Good luck sir!

Micro managing would be “pulling rank” on your child to make decisions about your grandchild. If you carefully read the first post, it appears to me that the doll was purchased in a way to spite the mother of the grandchild. How hard would it be to ask the mother if you could surprise the grandchild with the doll for Christmas? I am extremely proud of my parenting skills and have a lot of professional training and experience in leadership and child development so I think I might do ok.

 

[TX Trophy Hunter]

And they did such a good job I trust them completely. If that scenario would cause as you put it " a high risk of causing strain in their future relationship" there's already a big problem.

I hear you, I just think for most people there’s boundaries. Our parents have earned a lot, but I don’t think they earn the right to “pull rank” when it comes to your children.