Jimmer took over with the negotiating. What ransom would the President require to secure our freedom? Five hundred dollars and all would be forgotten. We pooled our funds. One hundred and twelve dollars. We offered that; no dice.
Rich tried to convince the big chief that his insurance was valid in Mexico. The policy was extracted from the vehicle. It was examined and somehow determined that it was not applicable in Mexico. Or at least not to the satisfaction of the Commander. He informed us that the only insurance he accepted was that which was purchased at the border crossing in the office next to the passport center.
We then asked if we could go back to the beach to regroup and come back in the morning to negotiate a better deal. Not a chance.
At this point, the commander had a brain fart. He proposed that since our sentencing would commence at 9:00 a.m., sharp, he could let us go. He would have to keep Rich's brand new Toyota 4x4 as collateral to insure that we would return in the morning. Those were the only terms he would consider. Take it, or stay in the uninhabitable cells with the sex-starved amigos.
All eyes focused on Rich. We asked the Commander if we could meet in executive session. He agreed. Rich quickly spouted that he could not let that truck stay, as it was a graduation gift from his parents and the truck only had six thousand miles.
I proposed that we all offer to buy Rich a new truck when we returned to Phoenix. Rich hesitated, but agreed, so long as everyone shook hands on the deal. After taking our oath, the seven of us reconvened with the Commander. After agreeing to his demands we were allowed to leave. We were given instructions to return at 9:00 a.m., or they would be to the beach to bring us in.
Rich took one last look at the new brown truck that bore the scar of a tweaked bumper as a result of this mishap. One of the Commander's cronies had driven the truck to the police station while we were negotiating our freedom, so obviously it was completely functional. Rich was near tears. We reminded him of our agreement. It had little effect, but allowed us to start our long walk back to the beach.
We reached the beach at 2:30 a.m. We were exhausted; Jimmer was suffering from severe dehydration and indescribable pain. Rich and I had both lost our shoes during our impact- induced naps, so we bore blisters on our feet worse than anything before or since.
Luckily, we had brought two vehicles to Old Mexico. Our escape vehicle was a 1969 Chevy Impala SS convertible. Seven guys and all their gear in one small car. Hardly an inconspicuous caravan. We did manage to beg of some other people to bring most of possessions back to Phoenix when they returned. We simply did not have room for anything other than bodies.
Speaking for myself, one act of fortune had graced me in this entire calamity. Before our accident, I had left my wallet at camp, so when the police gathered everyone's identification, I was able to claim that mine was stolen while I was knocked out. When in reality, it was back in the tent. Unfortunately, my six companions’ driver’s licenses and passports were in El Jefe’s desk drawer back at the police station.
We took to the border at 5:00 a.m. Stacked like sardines, we drove in complete silence, other than Jimmer's groans of excruciating pain. We were to the border by 8:00 a.m. We fell in line with the hundreds of other vehicles waiting clearance.
The agents were signaling the cars to continue their way into the good old United States of America. We were fifty cars behind, but finally, the end was in sight.
As we approached, we garnered some very inspecting glances. I must admit, seven young guys packed into one rig, was not the norm, even on a Labor Day weekend. The border agents must have agreed. They pointed for us to pull to the side.
It was now 8:20 a.m. The car was being disassembled in a search for illegal possessions. Whether they were looking for drugs or illegal aliens, I do not know.
A half hour of searching provided them with nothing. They then asked for identification. I promptly showed them mine, thinking if I was a straight arrow, maybe they wouldn't press the issue with the others. No such luck.
I was free to go. The others, meanwhile, were explaining and making excuses. All the while keeping an eye on the clock. Our sentencing was to start at 9:00 a.m. and the hour glass was draining quickly. For some reason I still don’t understand, the officials told us to get out of there, and fast. No further instructions were necessary.
At 9:05 a.m. we crossed the gate that meant freedom. Our collective sigh was probably felt as far away as Nevada. Never were we so happy to be on our way home. And never were we more humble, which for us, is saying a lot. But, time cures a lot of things, and within a week or so, our humility had fallen to its usual offensive level.
When we arrived at Phoenix, the first order of business was to seek medical attention for Jimmer. I took him to the emergency room. The attending doctor proceeded to argue that such severe burns could not come from sunburn. He wanted to know the true source, as regulation required him to issue a written report for all acidic burns resulting from industrial accidents. After we signed a written oath denying this was an industrial accident, he sent us on our way, with a fist full of prescriptions.
Next on the agenda was to get Rich a new truck. Since student loans weren't coming in for another week, he would have to wait. During that period, the three tagalongs decided their freedom was just that, free. They declined to participate in our cost sharing arrangement. Not the best way to foster what could have been a long-lasting friendship.
Needless to say, within a week, Rich had a new truck. And, we all found additional employment to pay for the real cost of tuition. Tuition at the school of hard knocks, that is.