Hillbilly Muzzleloading Hijinx, Day 1


New member
Aug 22, 2001
Henderson, KY
How I Spent the First Day of KY Early ML Season, or, How to Spend 7 Hours and $150 On a Hunting Trip and Never Load Your Gun

The first day of the 2-day ML season was certainly interesting. I had everything packed and ready to go the night before, so all I had to do was basically get dressed and hit the road. As I was getting into my truck, I noticed that one of my rear tires was a little low, so I decided to stop at a gas station on the way out of town to air it up.

None of the gas stations here have "free" air anymore, so I had to put some gas in even though I didn't really need it. So, I pulled up to the pump and top off the tank, no problemo. I then proceeded to the air pump, which, I discovered, was broken. :mad: So now I had a full tank of gas and still had a low tire.

Not to be outdone, I proceeded to the next gas station down the road. This one had a pump that was free if you bought something, but took $0.50 in quarters if you didn't. Naturally, I didn't have two quarters, so I went inside, picked up two Cokes and headed to the register. That's when I discovered that I not only didn't have two quarters, I didn't have any money at all. :rolleyes: So, I put the two Cokes on the credit card, and asked the cashier to add an extra $0.50 so I could have quarters for the air pump. She said, "Oh, no problem, you bought something so I'll turn it on for you." Great! So I toodle out to the air pump where my truck is parked and wait...and wait...and wait.

Finally I went back inside and asked about the air pump. "Oh, I'll turn it on right now!" She pushed a few buttons on the gas console and said, "There you go!" So I went back out to the air pump. Still nothing. Being the slightly tempramental type, I said "forget it" and left. I'm now quite a bit behind schedule.

Now, the road back to the property I hunt is about a mile long and all dirt. In good weather it's driveable by truck, but in wet weather it's strictly a walking or ATV proposition. According to the weatherman, there hadn't been much rain down there in the past week, so since I was running late I figured I would drive it.

There is a particular driveway close to the entrance to the property that I always check when going in. If it's dry, the dirt road is usually OK, but if it's got a big puddle the dirt road is usually a mess. I intended to check that driveway, but...just as I got to it a doe ran out in front of me. I stopped to watch her go past and forgot to check the driveway. This would turn out to be a bad choice on my part. ;)

Needless to say, I got started down the "dirt" road and noticed that it was a little wetter than I thought it should have been. But, being late, I decided it would be OK and pressed on. Right up until I got to a certain little swag. I got through the bottom OK and started up the next hill, but started to slip a little. Not wanting to tear up the road, I decided to back up and try again with a little more momentum. I then proceeded to back directly into a shallow ditch.

My truck is two-wheel drive and my rear wheels were in this glorified rut. Couldn't go backward or forward. I then spent the next four hours trying to get myself out. All I had in the way of tools was the standard crank-up jack that comes with the truck, a come-along, and 30 feet of tow strap.

The nearest tree was about 50 feet away, so there went the tow strap. An ATV ramp I had in the back of the truck got me traction on one wheel, but I couldn't jack up both sides of the truck at once. So I got some logs & branches from the woods nearby and put them under the other wheel. Well, they were wet and slippery, so they provided zero traction. So on and so forth.

I finally broke down and decided to swallow my pride and call a tow truck. I started calling around trying to find someone, but none of the towing companies would "do mud." :rolleyes: Finally one of the companies from a not-so-nearby town agreed to try and sent their 1973 Ford F-whatever out. He finally arrived and got me out, after nearly getting hung up himself. By this time it's about noon and I decided that I'd had one too many adventures for the day, so I called it quits. I was covered in mud and dog-tired from my extraction attempts. The tow job cost me $150, so my wife was...um...less than pleased. All in all, I've had better days hunting. ;)

Day Two will be much shorter and to the point, I promise. :D
Man those Kentuckians can mess up a wet dream!!!! ;) Just remember, a bad day hunting is better than a good day at work...right???:D
Sounds like your all over 'em Darren! :D ....just a matter of time now! ;)
Wow! Sounds like the deer had an excellent day! Better luck on day two! ;)

now i know why i have a 4x4 and keep the atv in the truck during hunting season speaking of atv's where was this mule i hear is so great ????????? only a hillbilly could screw up a day that bad LOL oh yea we are taking my truck to Maine no way i'm hunting in a 2 wheel drive DODGE
The Mule (also 2WD
) was back home hooked up to the brush cutter. After all, the weatherman said it would be dry. :rolleyes:
You know you might have just went in the brush and found your buck dead from laughing to death...Great story though... :D

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