Hillbilly Muzzleloading Hijinx, Day 1

dgibson

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Joined
Aug 22, 2001
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1,671
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Henderson, KY
How I Spent the First Day of KY Early ML Season, or, How to Spend 7 Hours and $150 On a Hunting Trip and Never Load Your Gun

The first day of the 2-day ML season was certainly interesting. I had everything packed and ready to go the night before, so all I had to do was basically get dressed and hit the road. As I was getting into my truck, I noticed that one of my rear tires was a little low, so I decided to stop at a gas station on the way out of town to air it up.

None of the gas stations here have "free" air anymore, so I had to put some gas in even though I didn't really need it. So, I pulled up to the pump and top off the tank, no problemo. I then proceeded to the air pump, which, I discovered, was broken. :mad: So now I had a full tank of gas and still had a low tire.

Not to be outdone, I proceeded to the next gas station down the road. This one had a pump that was free if you bought something, but took $0.50 in quarters if you didn't. Naturally, I didn't have two quarters, so I went inside, picked up two Cokes and headed to the register. That's when I discovered that I not only didn't have two quarters, I didn't have any money at all. :rolleyes: So, I put the two Cokes on the credit card, and asked the cashier to add an extra $0.50 so I could have quarters for the air pump. She said, "Oh, no problem, you bought something so I'll turn it on for you." Great! So I toodle out to the air pump where my truck is parked and wait...and wait...and wait.

Finally I went back inside and asked about the air pump. "Oh, I'll turn it on right now!" She pushed a few buttons on the gas console and said, "There you go!" So I went back out to the air pump. Still nothing. Being the slightly tempramental type, I said "forget it" and left. I'm now quite a bit behind schedule.

Now, the road back to the property I hunt is about a mile long and all dirt. In good weather it's driveable by truck, but in wet weather it's strictly a walking or ATV proposition. According to the weatherman, there hadn't been much rain down there in the past week, so since I was running late I figured I would drive it.

There is a particular driveway close to the entrance to the property that I always check when going in. If it's dry, the dirt road is usually OK, but if it's got a big puddle the dirt road is usually a mess. I intended to check that driveway, but...just as I got to it a doe ran out in front of me. I stopped to watch her go past and forgot to check the driveway. This would turn out to be a bad choice on my part. ;)

Needless to say, I got started down the "dirt" road and noticed that it was a little wetter than I thought it should have been. But, being late, I decided it would be OK and pressed on. Right up until I got to a certain little swag. I got through the bottom OK and started up the next hill, but started to slip a little. Not wanting to tear up the road, I decided to back up and try again with a little more momentum. I then proceeded to back directly into a shallow ditch.


My truck is two-wheel drive and my rear wheels were in this glorified rut. Couldn't go backward or forward. I then spent the next four hours trying to get myself out. All I had in the way of tools was the standard crank-up jack that comes with the truck, a come-along, and 30 feet of tow strap.

The nearest tree was about 50 feet away, so there went the tow strap. An ATV ramp I had in the back of the truck got me traction on one wheel, but I couldn't jack up both sides of the truck at once. So I got some logs & branches from the woods nearby and put them under the other wheel. Well, they were wet and slippery, so they provided zero traction. So on and so forth.

I finally broke down and decided to swallow my pride and call a tow truck. I started calling around trying to find someone, but none of the towing companies would "do mud." :rolleyes: Finally one of the companies from a not-so-nearby town agreed to try and sent their 1973 Ford F-whatever out. He finally arrived and got me out, after nearly getting hung up himself. By this time it's about noon and I decided that I'd had one too many adventures for the day, so I called it quits. I was covered in mud and dog-tired from my extraction attempts. The tow job cost me $150, so my wife was...um...less than pleased. All in all, I've had better days hunting. ;)

Day Two will be much shorter and to the point, I promise. :D
 

1_pointer

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 20, 2000
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18,089
Location
Indiana
Man those Kentuckians can mess up a wet dream!!!! ;) Just remember, a bad day hunting is better than a good day at work...right???:D
 
D

Deerslayer

Guest
Sounds like your all over 'em Darren! :D ....just a matter of time now! ;)
 

Oak

Expert
Joined
Dec 23, 2000
Messages
15,546
Location
Colorado
Wow! Sounds like the deer had an excellent day! Better luck on day two! ;)

Oak
 

twolfd3

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Joined
Sep 18, 2001
Messages
130
Location
iowa
now i know why i have a 4x4 and keep the atv in the truck during hunting season speaking of atv's where was this mule i hear is so great ????????? only a hillbilly could screw up a day that bad LOL oh yea we are taking my truck to Maine no way i'm hunting in a 2 wheel drive DODGE
 

dgibson

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2001
Messages
1,671
Location
Henderson, KY
The Mule (also 2WD
) was back home hooked up to the brush cutter. After all, the weatherman said it would be dry. :rolleyes:
 

ELKCHSR

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2001
Messages
13,765
Location
Montana
You know you might have just went in the brush and found your buck dead from laughing to death...Great story though... :D
 
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