Dad Joke thread

[blueridge]

Q: Why did the scarecrow win “employee of the month”?

A: He was outstanding in his field.

 

[Redmt]

I was filling out a job application and it asked who to call in an emergency. I said a doctor.

 

[kansasdad]

 

[2rocky]

 

[MarvB]

 

[Redmt]

 

[kansasdad]

 

[Redmt]

 

[Redmt]

 

[Rack Daniels]

You leave home and make a right and three lefts. When you get home there are two men in masks. Who are they?

The catcher and the umpire....

 

[grizzly_]

 

[2rocky]

So it has rained almost an inch this week here. I'm getting a lot of mileage out of this one!

 

[kansasdad]

 

[fmnjr]

I just want to say to @kansasdad, thank you sir for carrying the dad joke thread banner high!

 

[kansasdad]

 

[QuazyQuinton]

Dad thoughts while making breakfast...

If I make oatmeal and put oat milk on my oatmeal, what will happen?

QQ

 

[Jbotto]

Dad thoughts while making breakfast...

If I make oatmeal and put oat milk on my oatmeal, what will happen?

QQ

That sounds like some inception-level sh….shtuff.

 

[geewhiz]

Is buttcheeks one word? Or should I spread them apart?


Yes I have an immature sense of humor, I am not ashamed.



I saw this somewhere but I cant remember where. Sorry If it was here...

 

[kansasdad]

A horrible incident today at Sedgwick county zoo!

A chimp lit his feces on fire and threw them at the keepers who were trying to calm him down. Three employees had to be rushed to the hospital as they were suffering from turd degree burns.

 

[geewhiz]

What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hey bud!