Burning my soul clean.

[44hunter45]

For some of us even grandkids era goes fast. Embrace life with parents, kids, and grandkids ... as that is such a real reward.
'Seems like yesterday I was cleaning the poop off the slide in the Burger King playground and off the grandboy's butt ... then last summer he had a fast go in steer wrestling at the famous Pendleton Roundup. Time doth fly by!

Miss T is flying through her Sweet 16 year. I need more grand kids.

 

[44hunter45]

Pop died about 9PM Saturday night here in Phoenix. I feel privileged that I was able to be with him when he passed.

It was early morning before I was able to go to bed.

I got up late and went to find a trail. Any trail.

Yeah, I got a little cooked,but don’t care right now.

 

[44hunter45]

 

[Sask hunter]

sorry for your loss

 

[Gellar]

Sorry for your loss.

 

[Mica Man]

Sorry for your loss. Prayers for peace.

 

[F250]

Sorry for your loss. Prayers sent.

 

[Nuts]

Sorry for your loss. I know the clearing your mind drive. I work in a local city. The highway goes from a mile from work to a mile from home. 40min drive. Yet I take the 45-50min drive home everyday. Through game lands and woods. Complete reset before arriving home. My wife knows I will let her know when I leave work and don't bother me till I walk in the door.
Kids-I got real lucky. I have 3 daughters. All 3 have their head on straight. 2 are nurses and 1 is a special ed teacher. All 3 married great guys. Who I consider my sons. Like me all 3 sons did not have the best upbringing but made a decision to be better and pushed through. 1 granddaughter with another due any day. I talk to all 3 daughters everyday. Often multiple times. They show up unannounced at least once a week. Often multiple times. The same tracking I used to monitor them through their teenage years they now use to see what mom and I are up to. Getting alerts when we leave the house or come home. Kinda funny. Could be annoying but just blessed to have good kids.

 

[Hunting Wife]

Very sorry to hear. A rough few weeks for sure. I’m so glad you are taking time for yourself. I hope it keeps your spirit up and keeps you moving forward until you’re in better days again.

 

[Salmonchaser]

Such a rough time, prayers that you find peace and happiness in those memories.

 

[Outlaw99]

Sorry for your loss. I went through this a year and a half ago. My walk of clarity was to climb up into his combine and pick corn well into the middle of the night.

 

[44hunter45]

It has really struck me how this is circle of life stuff. We have all either been through it or we will. There is no escaping it.

 

[Big Fin]

Very sorry to hear about this, Mark. That's a huge load to be carrying. I wish there were something more than words that we could provide to ease your pain in this difficult time.

I hope your memory vault is filled with the great times spent together. My prayers for you and your entire family.

 

[Dougfirtree]

I'm really sorry for your loss!

 

[406dn]

I'm sorry for your loss. Losing my father was as difficult as anything, I've experienced in life. It took a long time to think about him, without it hurting. I still think of him often, I hope you will too.

 

[2rocky]

Just want you to know my thoughts and I'm sure many of our HT folks are with you in this time of difficult reflection. I admire your coping mechanism of spending time and sweat in the outdoors, and on the open gravel road. That is truly a constructive use of grief and emotion and I applaud you for that.

be well my brother because folks care about you..

 

[Dave N]

Do what makes you feel good. I got into a bad place after my wife died. If I stayed busy I seemed to manage my thoughts for that day. Winter came and I slowly got deeper into my head about missing her and withdrew from a lot of people and things. I could put on the happy face when I was around people but I was lying to myself. Spring came around and I knew I had to change. I took a chance and bought a Harley thinking that it would make me concentrate on staying alive and maybe relax my mind. It definitely helped. Then Buzz offered a spot on a fishing trip to Alaska and my daughter convinced me to go. That trip more or less brought me back to life. I got happy again. I meet with a group of Cat retirees I used to work with for breakfast once a month and last month fishing was brought up. One guy looked at me and said I had really perked up and changed when I got back. I still struggle with some things and my emotions have been changed but it has gotten much better now that some time has passed. You will get through this. You will have bad days. You will have good days. The good days will start overtaking the bad days. If driving a dirt road helps your head, do it. Find those things that help you and lean on them when things start going sideways. Don't tune out friends or family. They are there for you. Good luck with all you are going through and try to keep your head up. You got this.

 

[noharleyyet]

Have self medicated with stacked pain with no respect for moderation many times Mark. Hell if I know if it ever worked and I do not advocate, but it's certainly been my go to. Thoughts be with you and yours.

 

[rtraverdavis]

Damn Mark, heavy stuff man. So sorry. Take care of yourself and those you love.

 

[gouch]

When my dad died, I didn't go for a long walk in the woods. I found a secluded spot in the woods and just sat down alone and reminisced. I recalled something I thought I had forgotten. When I was very little, every night, my dad would tuck me into bed, and I would tell him that I had a secret. He would bend over and offer his ear, and I would whisper "I love you."

When I remembered that, I broke down and started crying. I cried like a blubbering little baby for the longest time.

The crying helped. It really did help a lot.