Bear Huntin' Story

Buckshot

New member
Joined
Feb 28, 2001
Messages
73
Location
Sandpoint, ID, USA
It was April 1st, opening day of bear season here in northern Idaho and the sun was just coming up over the western ridgeline. I was perched in a giant oak tree overlooking a superb patch of nicely ripened huckleberries. I was very confident in my choice of areas as I'd recently learned via exhaustive internet research that where you find the berrys you find the "bearys"! In no time at all a nice chocolate bear that I quickly estimated at 437 pounds ambled into view. I briefly debated shooting this bear but the memory of the tracks of the bear I'd seen in the area while scouting made passing easy. I'd studied the tracks carefully and was confident the bear that made them would go right around 622 pounds.

After a bit I started hearing a strange sound....it went "hoommmmmmmmmmm, hommmmmmmmm" over and over. So I climbed down to investigate. I peered over the ridgetop and there was David Letterman sitting in the lotus position, arms held out palms up, head tipped back, eyes closed, saying "hommmmmmmmm, hommmmmmmmm" over and over. But wait, that's not David Letterman, it's ol' Ithaca37, apparently getting in tune with nature! I revved my quad up to 8000 RPMs, popped the clutch and wheelied over to say hello. For some reason Ithaca didn't seem pleased to see me, but we talked for a bit and he told me he was up there helping some underprivileged, orphaned, dyslexic, diabetic, Down's syndrome children go bear hunting for the first time. He said they'd already filled all their tags. It was then I noticed all the little urchins around us, and I'll be dogged if every one of them didn't have themselves a bear, already gutted out and tucked away in their fanny packs or lunchboxes!

Ithaca and I parted ways and I hunted on down the ridge. The huckleberries were just thick and from the waist down my pants were purple with huckleberry juice. Luckily there were plenty of large snow drifts to wash up with. During this time I encountered a number of disgruntled Forest Service employees trying to get forest fires lit but with little success. ELKCHSR was with one of them trying to offer some tips on how to light a fire but he suddenly left muttering something about having to get back to his computer and make his 856,367th post. Shortly after that I came across Greenhorn. He was crushed under a pile of elk sheds the size of a greyhound bus that he had apparently been attempting to pack out. And as if that wasn't disturbing enough, there was Moosie, untying Greenhorn's boots and tugging his pants off in an apparent attempt to salvage Greenie's lucky underwear.

By this time it was growing late as evidenced by the sun slipping behind the crest of the Bridger Mountains to the east. "Almost prime-time," I muttered to myself as I dug my million candlepower hunting partner out of my pack. I flipped the switch......and nothing. Dagnabbit, I started fiddling with wires when FLASH it suddenly came on while pointing in my face. Instantly blinded, I started to panic when ELKCHSR suddenly reappeared with some survival advice pertaining to spotlight blindness! Post number 856,368!!

I decided to pack it in for the night so I headed back to the truck where I found notes from Deerslayer and Thumper both saying they were gonna give me a real coonass whuppin' the next time they saw me. Unfortunately for them it appeared that Russell Taylor had curtailed their plans as there were bloody little pieces of cajun scattered all over the place.

I headed for home without my bear but with a head-full of memories.
 

Moosie

Grand poopa
Joined
Dec 9, 2000
Messages
17,526
Location
Boise, Idaho
WHAT no Pictures..... I think I'm callin' BS !!! If that happened you'd have pictures !!!! And ones well lit too !!!!!

BTW, I did get Greeenies underwear, or what was left of them after 4 concecutive seasons of him wearing them!!!!
 

Buckshot

New member
Joined
Feb 28, 2001
Messages
73
Location
Sandpoint, ID, USA
Hell yes I have pictures. I'm a professional aren't I? (Rhetorical question which means you aren't suppossed to answer) I was just waiting for some yahoo like you to call BS. There were actually a lot more antlers on top of Greenie when I found him but I'd managed to pack quite a few off before Moosie showed up.....
 

Greenhorn

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 19, 2000
Messages
7,082
That Story ROCKS. THat's the funniest damn thing I've read all day!
 

ELKCHSR

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2001
Messages
13,769
Location
Montana
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!Very clever...I'm glad I just happened to read this...I have a limited time to read every thing I missed in the last couple of weeks. I think I will print it up and pass it around....LOL.... :D :D :D
 
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