are you the owner

[AZHUNTERR]

A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in an upscale hamburger establishment. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.

"Are you the owner?"

she asks, now softly stroking his face with both hands."No" he replies, "I''m just the manager."

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him."

She asks, running her hands up beyond his ears andinto his hair.

"I''m afraid I can''t," breathes the manager clearly aroused," he''s in the back doing taxes right now. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message."

She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"Tell him" she says "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."

 

[AZHUNTERR]

why parents go gray

Why Parents Go Gray

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an
urgent problem with one of the
main computers. He dialed the employee's home
phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper, "Hello."

"Is your daddy home?" he asked

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your
mommy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his
employee's home, the boss asked,
"May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman",
came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard
what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece
on the phone the boss asked, "What "is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What's going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered,
"The search team just landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned, and even more than just a
little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: -ME."

 

[Mntman]

both are funny but the last one almost made me pee my pants.
If I was wearing any

 

[Orca Lover]

That is hilarious. I like the second one the best!!!

 

[Quick Draw]

OMG!!!!! Both are very funny.
The first one is funny in a gross sort of way.
The second, that is the typical littel kid thing to do .
Too funny.
Quick Draw

 

[WH's OutdoorsChick]

OK the first one just is sick < LOL

 

[Quiet_One]

OMG that hcit funny both great secon is best but first was shock

 

[huntinfool]

Those are great ...LOL

 

[wyomuley]

LMAO those are great still laughing.

 

[70Classic]

Good Stuff!

What a wotten widdle kid!

 

[Left Behind]

The 1st one is sick...yuk.... glad it wasn't me that happened to

the 2nd one was GREAT!!!!!!

 

[eckman]

lmao thats funny stuff

 

[wapiti2]

those are both good....lmao