A racoon story


New member
Jul 10, 2001
Northern Colorado
In rural Carbon County, PA, a group of men were drinking beer and
discharging firearms from the rear deck of a home owned by Irving Michaels,
age 27. The men were firing at a raccoon that was wandering
by, but the beer apparently impaired their aim and, despite of the estimated
35 shots the group fired, the animal escaped into a 3 foot diameter drainage
pipe some 100 feet away from Mr. Michaels' deck.

Determined to terminate the animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can of gasoline
and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the animal out. After
several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the fuel, Michaels
emptied the entire 5 gallon fuel can down the pipe and tried to ignite it
again, to no avail. Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the determined Mr.
Michaels proceeded to slide feet-first approximately 15
feet down the sloping pipe to toss the match. The subsequent rapidly
expanding fireball propelled Mr. Michaels back the way he had come, though
at a much higher rate of speed.

He exited the angled pipe "like a Polaris missile leaves a submarine,"
according to witness Joseph McFadden, 31.

Mr. Michaels was launched directly over his own home, right over the heads
of his astonished friends, onto his front lawn. In all, he traveled over 200
feet through the air. "There was a Doppler Effect to
his scream as he flew over us," McFadden reported, "Followed by a loud

Amazingly, he suffered only minor injuries. "It was actually pretty cool,"
Michaels said, "Like when they shoot someone out of a cannon at the circus.
I'd do it again if I was sure I wouldn't get hurt."

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