Southern Elk
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A little humour for your day
- Thread starter Tradewind
- Start date
Tradewind
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- Joined
- Aug 19, 2015
- Messages
- 5,142
noharleyyet
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When we were in middle school for some holiday my brother and I made some kind of peanut butter balls covered in chocolate like in your photo. At the time we had some little bantam chickens that layed little eggs. Naturally we made the peanut butter balls about the same size as the little eggs and when dipping them we also dipped 1 raw bantam egg. We took them to a friends house for a get together and then sat in wait. His mother chose that one and you could hear it pop when she bit it in half. Not wanting to offend us, she kept chewing (bless her heart) until she noticed that we were all busting out laughing. I was such a little jerk. HAHA
Southern Elk
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antelopedundee
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SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight. The flight attendant asked passenger John, "Would you like dinner?"
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket. He opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A woman was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
As the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window, the policeman got out of his vehicle. As he approached the driver, the cop said, "I've been waiting for you all day."
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way with a warning, but no ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he could slow down, the bridge was right in front of him and his truck got wedged under it. Cars were backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car showed up. The cop got out of his car, walked over to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver responded, "No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas."
#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury, illness or a death in your immediate family. But that's it -- no other excuses whatsoever!"
Of course, there was a smart-ass student in the back of the room who raised his hand. He asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
It was mealtime during an airline flight. The flight attendant asked passenger John, "Would you like dinner?"
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket. He opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A woman was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
As the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window, the policeman got out of his vehicle. As he approached the driver, the cop said, "I've been waiting for you all day."
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way with a warning, but no ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he could slow down, the bridge was right in front of him and his truck got wedged under it. Cars were backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car showed up. The cop got out of his car, walked over to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver responded, "No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas."
#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury, illness or a death in your immediate family. But that's it -- no other excuses whatsoever!"
Of course, there was a smart-ass student in the back of the room who raised his hand. He asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Hem
Well-known member
Edit, in case I offend.
Sad reality
Sad reality
Last edited:
Devilscrown
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Do I laugh or cry?
Hem
Well-known member
Probably best if you do both...keeps you at square one.
CRJR45
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CRJR45
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BAKPAKR
Well-known member
Admin, please move to the Bad Dad Joke thread.
Bigjay73
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Bigjay73
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Bigjay73
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