A little humour for your day

While I was in Chicago, I heard Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were guest preachers at a nearby church, I decided to go there and check them out in person.

As soon as I sat down, Reverend Sharpton came over to me. I don't know why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the church?
He laid his hands on my shoulder and said: " By the will of Jesus the Lord Almighty, and the will of God, you will walk today."
I told him I was not paralyzed.

Then Jesse Jackson came by and said: " By the Grace of God, and his Son Jesus, the Lord Almighty, you will walk today." Again, I said that there is nothing wrong with me.

After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold they were right...

My car was gone.
 
Brings to mind one of my dad's more philosophical moments years ago while we were fishing for walleye.

Dad: "What about this reincarnation business? Do you think there's anything to it?"
Me: "Well, the Buddhists seem to think so.
According to them, in our next life we can either move up the food chain or down, depending on how we've used this life."
Dad: "I hope they're wrong."
Me: "Huh?"
Dad: "I haven't done so great in this life. Maybe I'll get sent back as a drivers seat spring for one of our city police cars."

Our local donut-eaters averaged about three hundred pounds. Their patrol car steering wheels were highly polished ... but not by hand.
 

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