So.. I got a List of "THINGS TO PONDER"

[Moosie]

And the Funniest (Or the one that applies to Talk Boards) was :

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Another Favorite of mine is :

Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs....

What are some of your Favorite ones ? Please list only one or two at a time. (Which helps pass the 2 weeks on the internet part )

 

[cjcj]

Some people say "i am going to take a shit" but arn`t they really meaning "i am going to leave a shit" ? [george carlin]

 

[Hunterman]

"IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING SET IT FREE,,,,,,IF IT COMES BACK ITS YOURS TO KEEP....IF IT DOESN'T,,,HUNT IT DOWN AND KILL IT!!!"

" Why do they call this fruit a pear,,when there is only ONE???

Hunterman(Tony)

 

[Nemont]

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ...I'd have nothing to play with.

Nemont

 

[RogueWarrior1957]

Best oxymoron: Microsoft Works

-Rogue-

 

[cjcj]

We were so poor, we had to jack off the dog to feed the cat!

 

[JB]

"We were so poor, we had to jack off the dog to feed the cat!"


now thats friggin funny!.ROFLMAO


cjcj, how bout we keep the illegal's and deport all the lawyers?

 

[JB]

here's a classic.....

is that your face or did your neck throw-up?

 

[RogueWarrior1957]

Here's a cool one:
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; some only gargled!"

-RW-

 

[guppie9]

It's said that at some point in most women's lives, they acquire new DNA that increases their intelligence...unfortunately, most of them spit it out.

 

[cjcj]

Originally posted by JB:
"We were so poor, we had to jack off the dog to feed the cat!"


now thats friggin funny!.ROFLMAO


cjcj, how bout we keep the illegal's and deport all the lawyers?

They are both scum!

 

[Calif. Hunter]

It was a bold man who first ate an oyster.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

 

[nmtaxi]

I was born with nothing.... and still have most of it left.

 

[dgibson]

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

And, that ever-popular favorite..."Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then."