Pooping in the Woods - A question of thresholds

[Redmt]

Living in the middle of nowhere, boonie crapping was part of life. If you weren't reasonably close to home you do what you do. One word of advice is to never ever never use pumice hand wipes for wiping your butt. The memory will last a lifetime,,,,,,

 

[SaskHunter]

Apparently this savage couldn’t walk the 75 yards across a paved parking lot or to use the pit latrine. Of all the users of our public areas duck hunters are by far the worst. View attachment 390109

That's straight up vile!!!!

Who does a #1 and #2 on pavement when there's a perfectly fine and private treeline 20 feet away or when an actual latrine is available??? Hahahaha

Some men just want to watch the world burn!!!

 

[Nameless Range]

That's straight up vile!!!!

Who does a #1 and #2 on pavement when there's a perfectly fine and private treeline 20 feet away or when an actual latrine is available??? Hahahaha

Some men just want to watch the world burn!!!

I know a suspect, but his MO of hiding the toilet paper may be evolving....

I prefer to leave mine in a fairly visible place, even within site of an outhouse. I always hide my paper. When finished, I like to firmly place a $1 note on top, making sure I've rubbed it in a little to cement it into place.

 

[Gellar]

That is so sad.It's not even funny.

I've always had the most problem with mushroom hunters personally.

It gets far worse. During the Covid year One Saturday morning I was checking the areas and there was a pair of waders by the garbage can outside the door of the pit latrine. The waders still had in them. There was a brown streak across the parking lot from the boat rigging area where the individual drug there waders and inside the pit latrine was a pile of soiled clothing. I wonder how long he sat in the poo before finally giving in? I wonder if his buddies knew he shat himself?

 

[SaskHunter]

This brought back memories of Afghanistan! I remember escorting a Jingle Truck one time on our FOB. My job was to escort the truck after it cleared the gate and bring it to where it was getting off-loaded while guarding the driver(s).

This one time, a driver popped an Afghan squat (like they all do) next to his rig while it was getting off-loaded. A couple minutes later the dude used the bottle of water we always gave drivers (to drink...) to splash his dookie-hole and got up leaving a coiler where he previously stood... 20yo me couldn't make any sense of what had just unravelled before my eyes.

The biggest mystery of all is that the turd was gone the following day. Who was this mysterious turd burglar?

 

[westbranch]

This brought back memories of Afghanistan! I remember escorting a Jingle Truck one time on our FOB. My job was to escort the truck after it cleared the gate and bring it to where it was getting off-loaded while guarding the driver(s).

This one time, a driver popped an Afghan squat (like they all do) next to his rig while it was getting off-loaded. A couple minutes later the dude used the bottle of water we always gave drivers (to drink...) to splash his dookie-hole and got up leaving a coiler where he previously stood... 20yo me couldn't make any sense of what had just unravelled before my eyes.

The biggest mystery of all is that the turd was gone the following day. Who was this mysterious turd burglar?

At least he washed up a bit. Bidets are game changer in life.

 

[SaskHunter]

At least he washed up a bit. Bidets are game changer in life.

View attachment 390118

Inshallah!

 

[Gellar]

At least he washed up a bit. Bidets are game changer in life.

View attachment 390118

Liteweight guys could carry one water bottle with two lids. 1 for drinking, 1 for bideting.

 

[Irrelevant]

A MODEST PROPOSAL

Last month, my son and I pulled up to a favorite camping spot at a favorite place looking forward to three days of grouse hunting.

chadlove.substack.com

One of my favorite authors just touched on the subject

 

[Bigjay73]

What a shitty way to resurrect an old thread

 

[R.K.]

Apparently this savage couldn’t walk the 75 yards across a paved parking lot or to use the pit latrine. Of all the users of our public areas duck hunters are by far the worst. View attachment 390109

I’ve noticed it’s usually people who are drunk overnight at the parking lot. Some of them are duck hunters, some aren’t. Some folks are just plain trashy, and do this to scare off anyone else that might want to hunt there.

I’d prefer to rub their nose in it if I ever catch them in the act.

 

[geetar]

Many times I've crapped alongside the road in the brush. I never bother burying it or toilet paper. Just let the dogs out of the rig to do their business and presto my business just disappeared. Throw them each a breath mint and we're ready to hit the road again.

I thought burning it was more your go to method.

 

[Wilderland]

So, let’s get vulnerable amongst friends. Several years ago I was stationed at Ft. Lewis, WA. Our battalion loaded up for an FTX and convoyed to the Yakima Firing Range in central WA. After the several hour drive, and all the time it took to set up, I URGENTLY needed to take a dump.

The porta-potties hadn’t been brought in yet, so I hiked a hill or two away from our company, dropped my BDUs and proceeded to have my eyes water from the relief.

While so engaged I heard the wop-wop-wop of a Blackhawk. Yup, they saw me. The doors were open and a few guys pointed at me, laughing. To add insult to injury, they flew over and circled around, to rub it in. Oh, the indignity.

 

[Gellar]

So, let’s get vulnerable amongst friends. Several years I was stationed at Ft. Lewis, WA. Our battalion loaded up for an FTX and convoyed to the Yakima Firing Range in central WA. After the several hour drive, and all the time it took to set up, I URGENTLY needed to take a dump.

The porta-potties hadn’t been brought in yet, so I hiked a hill or two away from our company, dropped my BDUs and proceeded to have my eyes water from the relief.

While so engaged I heard the wop-wop-wop of a Blackhawk. Yup, they saw me. The doors were open and a few guys pointed at me, laughing. To add insult to injury, they flew over and circled around, to rub it in. Oh, the indignity.

I feel like if this wasn’t done during a training exercise the crew should have been demoted in rank.

 

[Nick87]

It gets far worse. During the Covid year One Saturday morning I was checking the areas and there was a pair of waders by the garbage can outside the door of the pit latrine. The waders still had in them. There was a brown streak across the parking lot from the boat rigging area where the individual drug there waders and inside the pit latrine was a pile of soiled clothing. I wonder how long he sat in the poo before finally giving in? I wonder if his buddies knew he shat himself?

I shit my waders once. 0/10 stars. Dont recommended.

 

[Gellar]

I shit my waders once. 0/10 stars. Dont recommended.

Mystery solved. Im going to have to use that as my signature line. Honestly, if you spend enough time in waders you are either going to get piss in them or at least shit on the shoulder straps.

 

[Akcabin]

So far, the responses leave me feeling pretty dainty.What's sort of darkness exists in people who prefer to poop in the woods?

What kind of darkness in folks that poop in the woods. Crack me up man

 

[Akcabin]

Mystery solved. Im going to have to use that as my signature line. Honestly, if you spend enough time in waders you are either going to get piss in them or at least shit on the shoulder straps.

Nope

 

[Akcabin]

Hey. Personally I can't believe that this is a topic. And 10 pages. Kinda on a roll maybe. Personally, I'd rather poo in the woods than sit on those toilets. Do bears eat poo in the woods ?

 

[R.K.]

Mystery solved. Im going to have to use that as my signature line. Honestly, if you spend enough time in waders you are either going to get piss in them or at least shit on the shoulder straps.

I’ve been using them heavily for 25 years and so far avoided either situation, despite many a gastrointestinal emergency and gamble. Sorry to say, but I believe you to be in the minority here.

That said- I’ve also never had to sacrifice a shirt sleeve, sock, or pair of underwear to the old gods. Maybe I’m the one in the minority here…