Pooping in the Woods - A question of thresholds

How far is too far to get to a toilet?

  • I prefer to poop in the woods

    Votes: 123 53.7%

  • If I can't walk to them, it's too far

    Votes: 59 25.8%

  • Further than 1 mile

    Votes: 25 10.9%

  • Further than 3 miles

    Votes: 14 6.1%

  • Further than 10 miles

    Votes: 8 3.5%
  • Total voters
    229
Gellar said:
Apparently this savage couldn’t walk the 75 yards across a paved parking lot or to use the pit latrine. Of all the users of our public areas duck hunters are by far the worst. View attachment 390109
Click to expand...

That's straight up vile!!!! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

Who does a #1 and #2 on pavement when there's a perfectly fine and private treeline 20 feet away or when an actual latrine is available??? Hahahaha

Some men just want to watch the world burn!!!
 
SaskHunter said:
That's straight up vile!!!! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

Who does a #1 and #2 on pavement when there's a perfectly fine and private treeline 20 feet away or when an actual latrine is available??? Hahahaha

Some men just want to watch the world burn!!!
Click to expand...

I know a suspect, but his MO of hiding the toilet paper may be evolving....


Frequently Banned Troll said:
I prefer to leave mine in a fairly visible place, even within site of an outhouse. I always hide my paper. When finished, I like to firmly place a $1 note on top, making sure I've rubbed it in a little to cement it into place.
Click to expand...
 
BrentD said:
That is so sad.It's not even funny.

I've always had the most problem with mushroom hunters personally.
Click to expand...
It gets far worse. During the Covid year One Saturday morning I was checking the areas and there was a pair of waders by the garbage can outside the door of the pit latrine. The waders still had 💩 in them. There was a brown streak across the parking lot from the boat rigging area where the individual drug there waders and inside the pit latrine was a pile of soiled clothing. I wonder how long he sat in the poo before finally giving in? I wonder if his buddies knew he shat himself?
 
This brought back memories of Afghanistan! I remember escorting a Jingle Truck one time on our FOB. My job was to escort the truck after it cleared the gate and bring it to where it was getting off-loaded while guarding the driver(s).

This one time, a driver popped an Afghan squat (like they all do) next to his rig while it was getting off-loaded. A couple minutes later the dude used the bottle of water we always gave drivers (to drink...) to splash his dookie-hole and got up leaving a coiler where he previously stood... 20yo me couldn't make any sense of what had just unravelled before my eyes. :poop:

The biggest mystery of all is that the turd was gone the following day. Who was this mysterious turd burglar?
 
SaskHunter said:
This brought back memories of Afghanistan! I remember escorting a Jingle Truck one time on our FOB. My job was to escort the truck after it cleared the gate and bring it to where it was getting off-loaded while guarding the driver(s).

This one time, a driver popped an Afghan squat (like they all do) next to his rig while it was getting off-loaded. A couple minutes later the dude used the bottle of water we always gave drivers (to drink...) to splash his dookie-hole and got up leaving a coiler where he previously stood... 20yo me couldn't make any sense of what had just unravelled before my eyes. :poop:

The biggest mystery of all is that the turd was gone the following day. Who was this mysterious turd burglar?
Click to expand...

At least he washed up a bit. Bidets are game changer in life.

1761327026148.png
 
Gellar said:
Apparently this savage couldn’t walk the 75 yards across a paved parking lot or to use the pit latrine. Of all the users of our public areas duck hunters are by far the worst. View attachment 390109
Click to expand...
I’ve noticed it’s usually people who are drunk overnight at the parking lot. Some of them are duck hunters, some aren’t. Some folks are just plain trashy, and do this to scare off anyone else that might want to hunt there.

I’d prefer to rub their nose in it if I ever catch them in the act.
 
So, let’s get vulnerable amongst friends. Several years ago I was stationed at Ft. Lewis, WA. Our battalion loaded up for an FTX and convoyed to the Yakima Firing Range in central WA. After the several hour drive, and all the time it took to set up, I URGENTLY needed to take a dump.

The porta-potties hadn’t been brought in yet, so I hiked a hill or two away from our company, dropped my BDUs and proceeded to have my eyes water from the relief.

While so engaged I heard the wop-wop-wop of a Blackhawk. Yup, they saw me. The doors were open and a few guys pointed at me, laughing. To add insult to injury, they flew over and circled around, to rub it in. Oh, the indignity.
 
Last edited:
Wilderland said:
So, let’s get vulnerable amongst friends. Several years I was stationed at Ft. Lewis, WA. Our battalion loaded up for an FTX and convoyed to the Yakima Firing Range in central WA. After the several hour drive, and all the time it took to set up, I URGENTLY needed to take a dump.

The porta-potties hadn’t been brought in yet, so I hiked a hill or two away from our company, dropped my BDUs and proceeded to have my eyes water from the relief.

While so engaged I heard the wop-wop-wop of a Blackhawk. Yup, they saw me. The doors were open and a few guys pointed at me, laughing. To add insult to injury, they flew over and circled around, to rub it in. Oh, the indignity.
Click to expand...
I feel like if this wasn’t done during a training exercise the crew should have been demoted in rank.
 
Gellar said:
It gets far worse. During the Covid year One Saturday morning I was checking the areas and there was a pair of waders by the garbage can outside the door of the pit latrine. The waders still had 💩 in them. There was a brown streak across the parking lot from the boat rigging area where the individual drug there waders and inside the pit latrine was a pile of soiled clothing. I wonder how long he sat in the poo before finally giving in? I wonder if his buddies knew he shat himself?
Click to expand...
I shit my waders once. 0/10 stars. Dont recommended.
 
Gellar said:
Mystery solved. Im going to have to use that as my signature line. Honestly, if you spend enough time in waders you are either going to get piss in them or at least shit on the shoulder straps.
Click to expand...
Nope
 
Hey. Personally I can't believe that this is a topic. And 10 pages. Kinda on a roll maybe. Personally, I'd rather poo in the woods than sit on those toilets. Do bears eat poo in the woods ?
 
Gellar said:
Mystery solved. Im going to have to use that as my signature line. Honestly, if you spend enough time in waders you are either going to get piss in them or at least shit on the shoulder straps.
Click to expand...
I’ve been using them heavily for 25 years and so far avoided either situation, despite many a gastrointestinal emergency and gamble. Sorry to say, but I believe you to be in the minority here.

That said- I’ve also never had to sacrifice a shirt sleeve, sock, or pair of underwear to the old gods. Maybe I’m the one in the minority here…
 
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