noharleyyet
Well-known member
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing
sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly
but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog.. "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat...
"Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookers!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are
a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, craw fish guts, pickled pigs feet,
or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual
relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy
Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than
ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory
space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a
"fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are
faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle . A man only
puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he
needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or scratch his balls.
8 . If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting
their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker.
9. If you want to buy a Hummer Concept vehicle to hunt, drive to Starbucks, or carry your JRT around in....you are definitely Buzzing with gayness.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing
sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly
but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog.. "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat...
"Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookers!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are
a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, craw fish guts, pickled pigs feet,
or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual
relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy
Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than
ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory
space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a
"fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are
faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle . A man only
puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he
needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or scratch his balls.
8 . If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting
their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker.
9. If you want to buy a Hummer Concept vehicle to hunt, drive to Starbucks, or carry your JRT around in....you are definitely Buzzing with gayness.
