laughter therapy
>
> ===========These are from a book called 'Disorder in
> the American Courts' and are things people actually
> said in court, word for word, taken down and now published
> by court reporters who had the torment of having to stay
> calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
> ____________________________________________
>
>
> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
> memory at all?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> WITNESS: I forget.
> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
> something you
> forgot?
> ___________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Now doctor isn't it true that when a person
> dies in his
> sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
> morning?
> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
> _________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old
> is he?
> WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
> ___________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
> WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
> _________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
> August 8th?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
> WITNESS: getting laid
> ____________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
> WITNESS: None.
> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
> WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.
> Can I get a
> new attorney?
> ___________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
> WITNESS: By death.
> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
> WITNESS: Take a guess.
> ____________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
> WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with
> male.
> _____________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to
> a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
>
> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
> ______________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
> performed on dead people?
> WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a
> fight.
> _________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What
> school did you go to?
> WITNESS: Oral.
> _________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the
> body?
> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
> WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
> ____________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
> ______________________________________
>
>
>
> And, the best for last:
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did
> you check fora pulse?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was
> alive when you
> began the autopsy?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
> jar.
> ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been
> alive,
> nevertheless?
> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
> and
> practicing law.
>
> ===========These are from a book called 'Disorder in
> the American Courts' and are things people actually
> said in court, word for word, taken down and now published
> by court reporters who had the torment of having to stay
> calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
> ____________________________________________
>
>
> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
> memory at all?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> WITNESS: I forget.
> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
> something you
> forgot?
> ___________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Now doctor isn't it true that when a person
> dies in his
> sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
> morning?
> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
> _________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old
> is he?
> WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
> ___________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
> WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
> _________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
> August 8th?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
> WITNESS: getting laid
> ____________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
> WITNESS: None.
> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
> WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.
> Can I get a
> new attorney?
> ___________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
> WITNESS: By death.
> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
> WITNESS: Take a guess.
> ____________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
> WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with
> male.
> _____________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to
> a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
>
> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
> ______________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
> performed on dead people?
> WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a
> fight.
> _________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What
> school did you go to?
> WITNESS: Oral.
> _________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the
> body?
> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
> WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
> ____________________________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
> ______________________________________
>
>
>
> And, the best for last:
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did
> you check fora pulse?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was
> alive when you
> began the autopsy?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
> jar.
> ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been
> alive,
> nevertheless?
> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
> and
> practicing law.
