Hunting partner advice

[deertacos]

Hello all,

I'm in a situation that some people might relate, and I thought I'd throw it out here for suggestions.

I'm a hunting mentor to three of my friends (husband and wife, and a third guy). All three are "adult onset hunters", with excitement that is contagious and fun. I am a third-generation hunter, and while I'm far from an "expert", I've logged enough miles to share meaningful experience. I'm also fortunate to have some access to private land, which helps tremendously. Most of our hunting is for deer, bear, quail and turkey in California.

I really want to mentor these guys into becoming lifelong hunters and advocates, but unfortunately it leans toward a dependence on me for knowledge, access, scouting, meat processing, etc. When I go on solo hunts, out-of-state hunts, or hunts with other friends, they just won't put any effort into hunting during that time because "I could't go". If I were to move away right now, I have no doubt they'd all quit hunting entirely. I want to be a mentor, not an outfitter.

How do I give my friends the necessary guidance and motivation to become independent hunters, without being a crutch? I'm aware that hunting has many barriers to entry, but I want to "push" them into the outdoors, rather than pulling them around like a wagon. Thanks for the input.


***Disclaimer: I just realized this whole post reads like a cringy "Dear Abby" letter. Be that as it may, this issue has been weighing on my mind for several years, and I'm at my wit's end!

 

[375H&H]

Hi Concerned in California...

 

[Twolftg]

I have mentored some new hunters and the first rule is, you shoot it you clean it. I am always there to lend a hand but I make sure they learn to do it on their own. Ultimately it depends on the person, but some people will always look to have others do the work.

 

[beagle001]

I don’t have any experience, but I wonder if you set something up for the three of them to go together (without you) if that would help ease them in their own direction.
Good luck, no easy position to be in.

 

[Ajax2744]

I was the one to get one of my brothers into hunting and my best hunting buddy. The best advice I can give is to just lay out your expectations from the get go. I typically set the game plan as far as hunting spots and such but welcome any recommendations/help. I enjoy scouting and if my hunting buddies can tag along then great. But this all works because they trust me in that I have done my research. And I try to involve them so they can learn and grow their knowledge. But one thing I do absolutely expect is that they help setup camp, clean, and take down camp. We assign food for people to buy. And everyone typically is in charge of cooking a few dinners, unless my dad is in camp because he enjoys cooking all the meals. I would say that if your partners jave a good attitude and are willing to work then there is no reason why in a year or two they will be able to pitch in and help with the planning/ game plan. But communication is key, they won't know what needs to be done or how to improve unless you communicate the what's and why's of the hunt.

 

[WapitiBob]

If they’d quit without you tomorrow I doubt they’ll ever be lifelong hunters on their own.

 

[Werty]

I would start by asking/ telling what there job is. They will either except it or not, problem solved.
Also tell them what your thoughts are, see what they have to say.
Good luck

 

[Deleted member 38069]

You can't teach passion. If they get bit by it, great! If they don't, they don't!

 

[Deleted member 20812]

If they’d quit without you tomorrow I doubt they’ll ever be lifelong hunters on their own.

This.

Quit expecting them to have your same passion. If you’re okay taking them and enjoy it, by all means do so. However, if you’re doing it with the expectation they may go hunting on their own while you’re gone, let it go.

Who cares if they do or not?

 

[rtraverdavis]

I’m in a similar position with my friend that I’ve been attempting to cultivate into a bonified hunting partner. He’s into it, but not obsessed in the way I am. On our elk hunt last year, I couldn’t have asked for a better, harder working partner. But finding a friend that you connect with on a brotherly/sisterly level that also has the same priorities as you seems tough in adulthood. Part of why I like hanging out with you guys, albeit in the quasi-real world of cyber space.

Best I can offer is to be honest with them about what you’re feeling. I was honest with my buddy and it really helped me with my own expectations.

 

[Pucky Freak]

I'll take a different tack on this - I was introduced to hunting by my uncle when I was 7. In the beginning, I was 100% dependent on him and his longtime hunting buddies for knowledge, expertise, scouting, transportation, equipment, and some of the cost (my parents footed the rest).

From Day 1 onward I was given age- and experience-appropriate responsibilities. I was to keep watch in a particular direction from the blind and notify them if I saw game, do camp dishes, split firewood, help build a blind, etc. Each successive year more was expected of me. I was lowest on the totem pole for opportunity to shoot game, because I was expected to earn my stripes.

Fast forward 15 years to age 22. On my own initiative, I planned a 2-day, self-guided camping and hunting trip in central MN for grouse and woodcock. This was not the first self-guided solo hunting trip I had been on, but the difference this time was that I didn't get skunked - instead, I shot 5 birds! This was a turning point for me in my hunting journey, because it was the point at which I was able to reproduce all the necessary skills I had been taught over many hunting seasons, and my passion for hunting really ignited.

It sounds like your friends are living pretty high on the hog - they get the perks from your grunt work and don't seem to to invest a lot of responsibility. I would not suggest making any drastic changes, but instead I would start to find ways they can slowly take on more responsibility with trip planning, scouting, meat processing, equipment prep, etc. If they are willing to learn slowly, they might become well-rounded hunters like you someday. If they are not interested in being mentored though, you're just going to be their outfitter, and there might come a time for you to unload them from your wagon.

Personally, I find it very challenging to find like-minded hunters. I have mentored 1 person, and have a couple other prospects now, but I overwhelmingly hunt alone. I find I have a lot more in common with the HT community than the 100 or so hunters I know "in real life."

 

[lastlight]

I didnt really get into hunting until my mid 20s. I had a few mentors to show me some of the ropes early on, but my passion far surpassed theirs rather quickly and I hunt solo a lot now...point being you either have the thirst or you dont like others have said. Its not your job to hold their hand every hunt each year.

 

[Clam]

I think I have a similar situation as you.

First, The others just aren’t as passionate about hunting as you. Sounds like they enjoy it, but not enough for them to really get interested and involved in the whole process. Like many undertakings, it takes Desire, commitment and a lot of effort- they just aren't that into it.


Maybe you are basically a buddy/guide. (I am). The benefits are that you get to enjoy your friends and hopefully be in charge of the “plan” (when, where, how etc.). It isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sure, I wish I didn’t have to do most of the thinking and a majority of the work, but it is okay, as long as my buddy is pleasant company, isn’t a complainer/whiner etc. And we have pretty successful trips.

 

[elkduds]

Let them fail. Resist instinct to rescue them from their mistakes...while maintaining safety. They may turn out to be more focused on your input and their own efforts. Or they may be candyasses.

 

[Tradewind]

Stop providing a crutch for them. Let them lead, make hunting decisions, clean the animal they shot. You can be right behind them with support
or advice. But if all they have ever been asked/required to do is follow you around then that is what they know. Let them make some mistakes

 

[Europe]

you can lead a horse to water but you can not make it drink

I agree with elk duds, trade wind and others

 

[dirtclod Az.]

Go with them,show them. Then send them>
They will know which way to go.

 

[Mallardsx2]

Give them a GPS and tell them not to do anything stupid. And if they get something great, if they dont oh well.

I learned things the hard way. You can try to shortstep issued by expalingin things to them but you can never instill the drive to hunt in anyone that doesnt want it or already has it.

 

[bushman13]

You care because after a lifetime of racking up cool experiences, you eventually realize these moments are probably best shared. Otherwise the memory ends with you. That being said, your non hunting friends are really just that. Even after dragging them along. Catch 22

This.

Quit expecting them to have your same passion. If you’re okay taking them and enjoy it, by all means do so. However, if you’re doing it with the expectation they may go hunting on their own while you’re gone, let it go.

Who cares if they do or not?

 

[TheBenHoyle]

I have had several people express interest in hunting, and I am very open to helping them get started, but so far none of them have taken me up on it. That's probably not a bad thing as access to hunting land by me is not really easy. I have shoestring access to some private land that doesn't really allow me to bring a newbie with me. And while there is public land, I haven't had a lot of experience with any of it. On top of that, all of it would require a fair amount of driving. I am willing to put in the time, but most of the curious folks have been less than enthusiastic about it.

Even the two solid hunting buddies that I have are less energetic about hunting than I am. That might change if one of us should stumble into a good access situation, but more often than not we are hunting subpar areas just because we can spend some time together and not being terribly concerned with the quality of the hunting.

All that being said I would have enjoyed being mentored, most of my hunting education has been gained through trial and error. Still learning.