Favorite responses when the wife asks "Does this dress make me look fat?"

[MarvB]

"No, not to Stevie Wonder."

"Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."

"Does this tie make me look stupid?"

"No hablo ingles."

"Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things kinda balance out."

"If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."

"Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."

"Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."

"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

"No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."

"Whoa! A talking couch!!"

 

[noharleyyet]

.... tell me how these remarks work out for ya marv.

 

[MarvB]

Ken....I see that you've typed "something"....you're not on my ignore list there buddy...it's just that my eyes are a tad swollen for some reason....

 

[packstring]

Don't say this when that question is asked...." Does this dress make me look fat?" do not reply with..." No, your thighs do." Bad mistake.

 

[FLIPPER]

""Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

HAhaAHahaaa

 

[Elkhunter]

LMAO I think I will wise up and not give those answers.

 

[Gunner46]

Just take out a pistol and shoot yerself in the head. Nothing you say, after THAT question, is going to come out, in any way, that is going to save you from a life of misery..............