Convincing the wife to move..

I love MT and don’t ever see myself moving away. Perhaps a few weeks midwinter after retirement down south. But, I’m sitting in my living room right now watching it snow. Sigh
 
So my wife, 4 month old son and I will be heading up to visit Montana in June. Right now the plan is to visit Missoula, Helena, Bozeman and Billings. Now I’ll be honest, I am using this trip as an attempt to convince my wife that we should move Montana. We currently live in Texas and are planning to move in the near future as we want to raise our kids in a different environment.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can help sway the decision? I appreciate the help!

Add Red Lodge to your list. Personally, and on limited knowledge, I would skip Billings.
 
I appreciate you having my back @Gunner46. Montana is on our list of places but I want to make sure it climbs that list.
How high does your wife place MT on the list of places to move to? If it's not in her top five, save your time/money, scrap the trip, and use your resources to visit places that represent the best compromise for you both.
She has been exposed to some Nebraska winters
That's nothing. Anyone can visit NE in the winter. Even if MT is in her top five places to move to, she has never spent a full winter in a cold climate. If I were her I'd be damn sure I knew what I was getting into before making that kind of jump. I've lived in ND, MN, and CO, among other places, and there is really no concept of a 5+ month winter until you've spent the whole winter in such a place. MT is beautiful country - I have family there and have visited many times April-Oct. However, if I was checking it out to consider moving there, I wouldn't bring along wifey to have her see how nice it is 1/3 of the year.

Happy wife, happy life, bro. All those great recreational opportunities won't be so fun for you if she's unhappy.
 
It is true that there are people who are affected by winter in a way that they would prefer not to be affected. But, if you are trying to show your wife why Montana would be a good fit for your family I would not speak ill of winter. There is a more proper and rewarding way to look at winter.

There are those places in this country that don’t have winter, or if they do it is so weak it doesn’t deserve the name. The opportunity in those places isn’t particularly seasonal. It is more static. Maybe the rhythm is harder to hear.

Winter means a new suite of opportunities for recreation and more. Skiing, sledding, snowshoeing, icefishing, animal migration, a cozy shelter - a different world. Three of the four towns you’re visiting have a ski hill within 20 minutes. Highlight all of the fun things you would be able to do that you would not be able to do in Texas during the winter.
 
@ElkFever2 We recently narrowed it down to 4 states NM, CO, ID, MT so it’s definitely a contender.

I do agree that it is very different if you have never experienced a full winter. I personally really enjoy winter. I have tried to be as honest about winter and cold as I can. Lying or hiding that would not end well. That hasn’t scared her away yet.
 
Montanans complain about winter. Why should they handle winter any different than us folks further east? Plan a Florida trip for a couple weeks early February and all is well.
 
We recently narrowed it down to 4 states NM, CO, ID, MT so it’s definitely a contender.
Nice list of states! I agree it really depends what you like to do in the winter. I hunt through Jan, then start up again late March to scout for turkeys. My wife, on the other hand, hides out inside from Mid-Oct through April, and she's more than happy to do indoor stuff half the year. 4WD to navigate the snow, and trips to somewhere warm is enough for her. Every woman is different though.
 
I’ve lived in MT almost all my life. The -35 temps aren’t bothersome, you know you’re staying inside those days. March/April/May can be a never ending grind when it just won’t warm up.

^ This. I've spent one full year in New England in a cold, snowy year. It was snow on the ground in April and temps in the 30's for May softball. Winter wouldn't end for this Southerner. I know New England isn't as cold as MT but it was cold and grey for months.

I've spent a decent time in Tahoe and just seeing the sun helps. Not sure if MT has sun in the winter or not.

For those who talk about hotter climates being the same all year, spend a summer on the Gulf Coast or in Southern AZ. Summer is a 6 month event that won't end. We're lucky that we have only had a few triple digit days so far and the high was 82 today. Last year we were triple digit highs from mid-May to early October. Most of June-August is 115+ "Winter" is wonderful. I would love to move to CO but not sure wife could even handle CO cold much less WY, MT, or ID.
 
If u want her to move dont stop in billings.... maybe head towards glacier, lots of real montana up that way: beautiful views, guys with skinny jeans, flat brim hats and local breweries. lol good luck
 
I was razed in MT and now live in WY and major difference come to mind. 1 MT has a lot more major water sources and rivers. 2 We have a lot less people but the prime hunting areas are still hard to draw. We get cold, windy, hot, dry and have to learn to drive on icy road just like MT. Both are wonderful states. Wyoming property taxes are on the increase, mine almost doubled this year but we are still lower than most.
 
‘98, My wife and I, along with our 2 y.o. son, moved away; mostly for my selfish reasons, without much discussion between us. While we were gone from our hometown, at different times, her mom and dad got sick and passed away. She traveled back and forth as she could to help care for them, but it was hard on her to be so far away during these times. 10 yrs later, I again moved her and the family back to our hometown to be closer to my parents. Im surpised she’s still with me for some selfish decisions ive made. We discuss retirement and where we will live but cant decide as she wants to move where its warm and I want to go west. When that time comes, im sure we will make the decision based on where our children end up, as family is most important to us. In summary, I’d discuss it with your wife and do whats best for both of you. Good luck!
 
I always wanted to end in in AK. After realizing my wife would be absolutely miserable there I suggested MT as a compromise-she is 100% on board. We will probably keep our place in ID as our kids will most likely be here, but plan on buying/building a place in MT in the next 5 years or so. She wasn't born a country girl but loves the wide open spaces and quiet- I'm a lucky man and definitely married up!
 
Not sure I have any advice. My wife graduated high school in Vegas. Bozeman in 1991, when we moved here, could not have been further from Vegas in just about every way. She loved it. Within a year, she told me if I moved again, I was moving by myself. We did come here on our honeymoon in 1989 and probably five other trips before we finally sucked it up and took the 30% (me) and 60% (her) pay cuts to move here. I grew up on the Canadian border of MN, so the winter was not a big deal for me. She adapted to the four season, including winter, like I would have never guessed.

That said, her family was scattered across the west and her parents never really set down roots anywhere, so our move did not have any feelings of missing out on close family activities. Maybe the opposite, wherein the first ten years we lived in Bozeman we seldom had a summer week without family or friends staying with us. My wife said we we were "running a flop house" during the summer when so many people were at our house. If you do move to Montana, the saying goes, "Nine months of winter and three months of company."

I wish you the best. If she is not all in, don't do it. Nothing is more disruptive to a marriage and long-term finances than to be moving regularly and changing jobs because one person wasn't on board with the idea to move to location "X" and did so reluctantly. It seldom lasts and costs a pot full of money to relocate.

If she is open minded and up for new adventures consider yourself lucky and go for it.

Good luck.
 
If the both of you feel that you want to make a new start it will help you in the end. If only one of you wants to make the move you will not be happy until the other party is on board with you. I just made the decision to make a big move out of state. It has been a little difficult, but I would not change my decision at all.
 
Back
Top