And the Moral of the story is...

[Moosie]

OK ,there was a funny one in the adult section so it reminded me of my favorite "Moral" story. Please post your favorite one (Besides the Horse and the BMW and the Chicken one )

Here is mine

There was a lion that was hungry and chased down a Bull buffalo to eat it. He started eating it and was so hungry he ate the whole thing. After eating, he was so content with himself that he leaned back and let out a LOUD ROAR !!!!! A hunter near by heard this roar, came over, and shot the Lion.

Moral : If you're full of Bull, keep your Mouth shut.

Another one I read recently was :

The Crow and the Rabbit

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the Story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

 

[MarvB]

Two of my favorites

A turkey was standing in a field chatting to a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that far tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of poo and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Whereupon he was spotted by a farmer who ran into the farmhouse, emerged with a shotgun, and shot the turkey right out of the tree.

Moral of the Story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my penis and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

Moral of the Story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

 

[powderburn]

There once was a dog that was going to cross a double set of railroad tracks.
He looked left, then he looked right and crossed the first set of tracks were he stopped to check the next set. He once again looked right then he looked left and just as he was going to start moving a lone engine came along behind him and clipped off a piece of his tail. The dog spun around to see what had happened and a second engine came speeding along following the first engine. The second engine clipped the dog taking his head off. The moral of the story is don't loose your head over a little piece of tail.

 

[IDHunters]

A bird stayed in the cold northern climates a little too long one fall and got caught by cold winter storm. As he was laying on the ground, freezing to death, a cow walked by and crapped on the poor bird. The crap, however was quite warm and the bird started feeling much better. So much better he started to sing like it was springtime. A passing cat heard the singing, pulled the bird out of the crap, and ate him.

Moral 1: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

Moral 2: Not everyone who gets you out of a mess is your friend.

Moral 3: If your stuck in shit, but warm and happy, keep your mouth shut.

 

[Moosie]

Moosie said :

Please post your favorite one (Besides the Horse and the BMW and the Chicken one )

MarvB said :

Moral of the Story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

.....

 

[MarvB]

......just shows how much attention I really pay to your posts!

 

[guppie9]

I like this one!!!

One day at the end of class, little Billy’s teacher asked the class to go home and think of a story and then conclude with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.

Little Suzy raises her hand. “My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road.” The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, “Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket.”

Next is little Bobby. “Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched.” Teacher asks for the moral of the story. Bobby replies, “Don’t count your eggs before they’re hatched.”

Last is little Billy. “My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war. His plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun, and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands.”

Teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story. Billy replies, “Don’t #*^@#* with uncle Ted when he’s been drinking.”