Advice for a son who's uninterested in the outdoors?

[Sabot]

This is more of a vent than anything (honesty is my strong suit). I already know the tried and true advice not to push him into the outdoors, make him miserable, etc.

My son is 9. At his age, every stick I picked up was a gun. Every movie I was interested in had guns. When dad left to go hunting, all I could dream of was being big enough to go with him. When I finally was, I laid awake nearly all night itching to go. I loved being outside. I've loved hunting for as long as I can remember.

My son could care less about going hunting. He plays with toy guns a little and likes a few shooter video games, but he has no desire to go with me, doesn't ask about my hunts, and won't shoot even a 22 at the range unless I practically beg him.

I only have one son (2 daughters...1 who hunts!). I love him more than I can possibly say, but we seem to be so polar opposites I'm terrified of his teen years and not having the TIME with him that comes with hunting and fishing. We do watch some sports and do some baseball and soccer, but he is not passionate about sports.

Maybe he'll have adult onset outdoorsmanship.

Thanks for listening.

 

[El Jason]

Ask him what activities he would like to do together.

 

[Southern Elk]

I'm somewhat in your position. I was born a hunter. I don't remember a time when it was not my favorite thing to to. I killed my first deer at 10 years old after trying for several years and have killed at least one per year every year since. I shot birds in the yard with a pellet rifle when my Dad thought I was too young to go hunting with him. To this day, it is my favorite activity and second only to my family in everything I do. I eat sleep and breath it.

I have a daughter who cares nothing about it. I never gave it much thought, because I just figured a lot of girls don't care for it. Then my son comes along and I think I have my hunting buddy now. He's 6 now and doesn't care much about hunting. He loves to be outside and his favorite thing in the world is camping. He loves all of the gear involved with it. He always asks to go camping. He also likes to fish. For whatever reason, he hasn't showed much interest in hunting. He's still young and maybe he will come around, but if he doesn't, I will encourage him to do whatever he enjoys.

 

[stillkickin]

My youngest son is now 15 and was very similar to yours starting out, but now is really in to hunting and fishing. My advice is to take your kids along and make it fun for them. Take them shooting as much as possible as all kids love to shoot, good luck and I think you will have a hunting partner. Just remember to be patient and try to get their friends involved as much as you can.

 

[VAspeedgoat]

This is a bit off topic, but I wonder how guys out west can really get kids interested in hunting when so many states require them to be 12. Here in the east most kids have been deer hunting and killed multiple deer by 12. My sons were both 7 when they got their first deer and 7-9 is very common.

Back to the topic. How does fishing or camping go? Possibly this could be avenues to get him interested in hunting or it could be how he participates. In other words, you may deer hunt but he may trout fish. Tough topic but it sounds like you are doing all the right stuff. Hang in there.

 

[1_pointer]

Ask him what activities he would like to do together.

This!

Though I know some folks here will get out the pitchforks, torches, tar and feathers, but I have yet to meet a kid that age that won't jump at the chance to drive a dirt bike or ATV. It'd be outside and give the two of you a reason to see some country. Now if I can just convince my wife to allow me to outfit our family with some dirt bikes. We have a UTV and my 9yo tools around our cabin place on it as long as I'll allow him to.

 

[airlocksniffer]

My older brother went hunting once and didn't care for it. My twin brother and I are hunting fools. Even just spending time outdoors camping, hiking etc may be enough for him to get interested on his own. And if he never does, that's fine too. My son is going on his first deer hunt in a few weeks with me, his grandpa, uncle and great uncle. We took him last year and he just enjoyed hanging out and shooting cottontails. I'm sure there are some activities you can both enjoy and spend more time together.

 

[El Jason]

To expand a little bit:

I have three daughters. The oldest is a senior in high school and cares a hell of a lot more about being a cheerleader than anything outdoor related. I watch a lot of high school sports simply to support her. Cheerleading does nothing for me personally, but watching her grow and develop through it sure does.

My middle daughter loves to backpack, hunt, and fish. We spend outstanding time together in the field and have had some great trips.

My youngest is far more likely to become an environmental attorney than a hunter, so I thought. She is 10, and just this morning asked me if she could hunt next year. Up until now when I have offered she has adamantly refused.

Two points here. Number 1, don't just assume that it will always be that way. I thought for sure my oldest would hunt as she showed a LOT of interest in it when younger, and I thought for sure my youngest would never hunt. Let them find their way via free will. Make it available and fun, but don't force it.

Number 2, worry more about developing relationships with them rather than what form the relationships function in. My conversations spent with my oldest about the trials and tribulations of life on the cheer team are every bit as priceless as going deer hunting with her younger sister.

I want my kids to view me as someone they can trust to help them navigate the challenges of life, rather than them worrying that they have disappointed me because they don't hold the same interests that I do. My oldest daughter cried telling me she didn't want to hunt, because she felt I would be disappointed. I never said, stated, nor implied that, but kids can and will have that fear. Make sure you don't perpetuate it.

 

[James Riley]

To expand a little bit:

I have three daughters. The oldest is a senior in high school and cares a hell of a lot more about being a cheerleader than anything outdoor related. I watch a lot of high school sports simply to support her. Cheerleading does nothing for me personally, but watching her grow and develop through it sure does.

My middle daughter loves to backpack, hunt, and fish. We spend outstanding time together in the field and have had some great trips.

My youngest is far more likely to become an environmental attorney than a hunter, so I thought. She is 10, and just this morning asked me if she could hunt next year. Up until now when I have offered she has adamantly refused.

Two points here. Number 1, don't just assume that it will always be that way. I thought for sure my oldest would hunt as she showed a LOT of interest in it when younger, and I thought for sure my youngest would never hunt. Let them find their way via free will. Make it available and fun, but don't force it.

Number 2, worry more about developing relationships with them rather than what form the relationships function in. My conversations spent with my oldest about the trials and tribulations of life on the cheer team are every bit as priceless as going deer hunting with her younger sister.

I want my kids to view me as someone they can trust to help them navigate the challenges of life, rather than them worrying that they have disappointed me because they don't hold the same interests that I do. My oldest daughter cried telling me she didn't want to hunt, because she felt I would be disappointed. I never said, stated, nor implied that, but kids can and will have that fear. Make sure you don't perpetuate it.

That sounds like some mighty good advice.

 

[Sawtooth]

^^^^This^^^^
JLS is spot on with both of his Points. Find what interests your boy has and join him in those activities. And you never know when the hunting bug could bite. My son was all about organized sports and all things automotive from an early age. I was totally on board with his interest in sports, but never could understand his obsession with cars. (To me, a vehicle was just a way to get around town and into the outdoors where the real fun happens.) As a youngster, he had little interest in hunting and fishing, and I was sure that his lack of interest would be permanent. Then last year at age 20, he decided he wanted to start hunting and after shooting his first buck he has caught the bug. Kids interests change like the weather. Hunting is not for everyone, but don't be surprised if later in life he shows more of an appreciation for those outdoor activities.

 

[noharleyyet]

To expand a little bit:

I have three daughters. The oldest is a senior in high school and cares a hell of a lot more about being a cheerleader than anything outdoor related. I watch a lot of high school sports simply to support her. Cheerleading does nothing for me personally, but watching her grow and develop through it sure does.

My middle daughter loves to backpack, hunt, and fish. We spend outstanding time together in the field and have had some great trips.

My youngest is far more likely to become an environmental attorney than a hunter, so I thought. She is 10, and just this morning asked me if she could hunt next year. Up until now when I have offered she has adamantly refused.

Two points here. Number 1, don't just assume that it will always be that way. I thought for sure my oldest would hunt as she showed a LOT of interest in it when younger, and I thought for sure my youngest would never hunt. Let them find their way via free will. Make it available and fun, but don't force it.

Number 2, worry more about developing relationships with them rather than what form the relationships function in. My conversations spent with my oldest about the trials and tribulations of life on the cheer team are every bit as priceless as going deer hunting with her younger sister.

I want my kids to view me as someone they can trust to help them navigate the challenges of life, rather than them worrying that they have disappointed me because they don't hold the same interests that I do. My oldest daughter cried telling me she didn't want to hunt, because she felt I would be disappointed. I never said, stated, nor implied that, but kids can and will have that fear. Make sure you don't perpetuate it.

Invaluable insight right there.

 

[bigdonniebrasco]

I love him more than I can possibly say,

You already know this, but this ^^^^^ is the most important thing! As long as HE know this, everything will come around in time... I promise!

 

[Melman]

my Dad has two sons. I love to hunt and my brother doesn't. he will fish 1-2 times per year but doesn't like hunting at all, never has. he now will go and film (or try to film) hunts for my Dad. your son may never like to hunt, doesn't mean you cant find a way to spend time together in the outdoors. I have 2 boys. 3- and 5. the 5 year old has always loved to fish. the 3 year old wont hold a pole for more than 2 minutes, but I take them both and am glad I'm spending time with them. I do hope my little one comes around but if he doesn't we will do something else together that we both like

 

[rgroves79]

I struggle with the same thing to some extent. My son is 7 and some days he wants to hunt with me and others he is more interested in Pokemon cards and the iPad. Like most have said, you just have to let them come to it on their terms and in their own time. Small game and bird hunting is a great way to get them out. Chances of seeing and killing game are much greater and it allows them more freedom to move around and talk while you are out. Its also a good way to teach them a little woodsmanship like looking at deer sign, different types food for animals, etc. Regardless, anything we can do to spend time with our kids and be involved in their lives is a good thing.

 

[Irrelevant]

First JLS has better advise than I could ever offer. But with regard to the question asked, I would tend towards initiating more universal outdoors activities with the goal of getting him hooked on some part of the outdoors, from that you can always build into hunting. I have yet to meet a kid, any kid, that doesn't love to play in a creek on a hot day. Stacking rocks, skipping stones, catching water bugs, just seems to tap into a basic kid desire. I might also suggest eliminating tv/video games. In order to not be viewed as a hypocrite you might have to make that a household decision not just him. Just my two cents. Good luck.

 

[LopeHunter]

Your role as a parent is to protect and nurture your offspring. Attempting to nurture what is not yet an interest is like pushing rope up a hill.

How do you spark an interest in a 9 year old? Well, my experience is it is quite easy, well, compared to dealing with a 14 year old. A 9 y.o. is still finding new interests. Girls are probably not high on his list of interests yet but most likely in 3 years he will be noticing them.

Does your son have any friends that fish? If so, arrange for that friend and your son so go on an adventure that is sure fire. Go to where you catch lots of fish even if small ones. My sons cared more about catching fish often rather than fish all day to catch one lunker fish. Keep the fishing portion short so they are begging you to spend more time rather than stay so long you hear "can we please go now." Stop on the way to the fishing hole to get something good to eat, maybe let him order his favorite dessert, too. The go fish then on way back from fishing stop in to pick up a couple of lures or something for the next time and let your son pick out a lure or two. Your son will want to return to try out "his" lures. Maybe the next time on the way home let him pick out a rod at the store. The idea is he now how his own tools for the job rather than being told to not break "your" stuff cause it "costs lots of money."

Your son may grow to love fishing then in a year or two want to hunt then in a year or two only care about soccer. Life is what it is and just as your parents could not convince you to like a certain food (even if you had to eat it once was on your plate) you will have moments when you will realize you are being your parents now.

I find getting a child his own hammer or fishing rod or bb gun or chemistry set goes a long way to inspire them to learn a new skill. A 9 y.o. has very few possessions and is a big deal to go to school on Monday and announce he got a hammer or whatever over the week end. Not just got to use a "dangerous" hammer to pound nails like a boss but is his hammer.

 

[LuketheDog]

I was the only one in my family who liked to hunt when i was growing up, I learned from my uncle, my friends, and my friends' families. I just took my dad and my two brothers hunting for their first time last weekend, over 20 years after I got into hunting. It might just take your son some time to come around!

 

[maxx]

You know I am going to look at this from a little different perspective.

I always wonder how the hell I ended up loving hunting and fishing so much. My dad great guy but when he took us it was more about hunting and fishing and less about making us love it. I remember several times whether it was ice fishing, fishing, hunting, etc that I just hated being out there. Ya it was fun at first but then I would get cold or birds weren't flying or fish were not biting and we stayed out longer than what an adult should with a kid. Hell I remember my dad taking my sister and I duck hunting and he would leave us at the care for 30-40 minutes so he could go jump a pond.

Even with all that I ended up loving it.

I have 2 boys and a daughter. All 3 like to fish at different levels. My daughter is happy to sit on a dock and drop a worm down and catch the smallest bluegills all day long. The older boy prefers to try to cast for fish. The middle boy will fish anyway any how for hours and never complain once.

The one thing I do different than my old man is when I do outdoor stuff I try to solely focus on them.

 

[JEL]

I have 3 boys aged 23, 21 and 18. The oldest and youngest live to hunt and fish. The middle son was just not that interested in hunting but he really liked fishing so we did that. He also likes to hike and camp so we did that a lot as well. The other day he mentioned that he is thinking about taking hunter safety and maybe starting hunting. I guess my point is the same as others have said. Do what they like. Interests change and develop. I made sure I never pressed him to hunt and just spent time with him doing things he liked.