YEAH

[antelopedundee]

A woman is sitting at her husband’s funeral. A man leans in and asks her, “Do you mind if I say a word?”

“No, go right ahead,” the widow replies.

The man stands, clears his throat and says, “Plethora” and then sits back down.

“Thank you,” the woman says, “that means a lot to me”

 

[FamilyMan]

Groan.

 

[dirtclod Az.]

 

[antelopedundee]

Trump finally breaks down and visits a remote indian rez. With news crews following him around as they tour the place, the potus asks the chief if there was anything the people need.


"Well," says the chief, "We have three very important needs. First, we have a medical clinic, but no doctor."

Trump whips out his phone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes and then hangs up. "I've pulled some strings. Your doctor will arrive in a few days. Now what was the second problem?"

"We have no way to get clean water. The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people been drinking for thousands of years. We've been flying bottled water in, and it's terribly expensive."

Once again, Trump dials a number, yells into the phone for a few minutes, and then hangs up. "The mine has been shut down, and the owner is being billed for setting up a purification plant for your people. Now what was that third problem?"

"We have no cellphone reception up here," the chief says.

 

[antelopedundee]

How many country western singers does it take to change a light buld?

3 One to change it and 2 to whine about how much they miss the old one.