ARCAT
Member
(this was written be me and my buddies as a deer hunting version of the flip flop ram hunt. If you know anything about the rednecks, small bucks, deer hunting in general in arkansas you'll get a kick out of it. if i could get it to work i'd post a pic of the monster)
The internet rumors have gotten out of control on this thing so I have decided its time to set the record straight.
The swamp monster as he has become known throughout most of L.A. (lower Ar-kansas) was killed by me on Saturday November 25th at approximately 5:30 pm. He was first shot during legal shooting time around 5:19pm but died a hard death as expected, and did not finally give up the ghost until a few minutes later.....but I'm getting ahead of myself.
The killing of the swamp monster was not a DIY public land hunt. I hunted on private land, and had 3 guides. Dr Ty and Blackdogg are members of the hunting club the monster called home and have intimate knowledge of the property. It was however a fair chase no fences hunt. I refuse to hunt anything that cannot run from me. They had both also seen the swamp monster on more than one occasion and knew his habits and tendencies. They told me he was big, he was bad, and he was nocturnal. That’s all I needed to know to convince me to drive down from "the rock" and have go at him. Jeff Ehlers my personal guide is well known in many outdoor circles from his record setting win in the Caldwell catfishing derby and the many listing he has in the P&Y and B&C records books.
The hunt was also not easy by any stretch. To start out with I had to leave half my milkshake on the table at the Purple Cow in "the Rock" so I could get down there on time to start the hunt. Everyone knows how hard that is. Then when we got there I had to ride double on a 4 wheeler only built for 1 over rough terrain without a helmet or any safety riding gear. Then Jeff put me on a forced march approx. 500 yards into the swamp monsters lair carrying my own gun, shells, and a climbing tree stand that weighed at least 18 pounds. The terrain was again rough, the path covered with leaves and acorns and up to 6 inches of water.
Then I had to climb up to a precarious perch 8ft up in a tree. I was instructed to put my blackberry on vibrate, and not play any computer games or watch pod casts for the remainder of the 2 hours of shooting light
I was then left....alone in the swamp monsters lair. Waiting on the certain death that was to come for him or me. For two hours I kept one eye on my PDA watching football scores scroll by and the other eye on the woods around me, with my ears trained to the slightest sound that could be him on the move. I was sweating profusely from the stress of the moment, or maybe because it was 75 degrees and mosquitoes were circling me like a fog. Every few moments a water moccasin or alligator would rise up and eyeball me from the watery grave that the swamp monster chose to call home. I tried to ignore the repeated calls of ivory billed woodpeckers circling over me and pecking on my tree. Snow geese flew over by the thousands, and squirrels were a constant distraction dropping acorns into the water. I struggled to maintain focus.
Then it happened. OU held off OSU to win the big 12 south, NO wait a minute, I heard a noise. It was a doe walking by to within 10 feet.
.....was the doe sent by the Great Spirit (Uncle Ted Nugent) to provide food for my family or was she just a decoy to break my focus from the task at hand. I passed her up and continued to wait. It was now 5:16 pm and shooting light was fading fast. Then two raccoons wondered by. I raised my trusty 06 and tried to wait for them both to line up in the scope for a one shot 2 kills scenario. I have longed for the 1 shot 2 kills varmint slam in SCI and have to this date not attained it. Apparently the swamp monster knew that.
After the coons wondered by I heard a faint rustling of leaves that quickly turned into the splash splash splash of hooves that had never touched dry ground. Then I saw him. It was the swamp monster I had heard so much about. He was walking briskly down a trail through the swamp into his lair. I waited until his head was behind a tree, raised my 06, aimed for his neck and fired. The monster hit the swampy ground with a huge splash that would not have scored well at all in Olympic diving competition. He then began to thrash and death flop around violently throwing water in all directions. I had missed my mark and shot his back out above his shoulders. I frantically tried to get him in the scope but could not. Though he was only 20 yards away, it was too dark and he was in too much water. I climbed down from my perch, circled the fallen giant, and put a killing shot into his heart. The swamp monster was dead. Long live the monster.
Some will say that sending a cold blooded killer like me into the monsters lair was not fair, that the monster did not have a chance against my superior hunting skills and modern weapons. I say the monster had to die, and did not deserve a chance.
The internet rumors have gotten out of control on this thing so I have decided its time to set the record straight.
The swamp monster as he has become known throughout most of L.A. (lower Ar-kansas) was killed by me on Saturday November 25th at approximately 5:30 pm. He was first shot during legal shooting time around 5:19pm but died a hard death as expected, and did not finally give up the ghost until a few minutes later.....but I'm getting ahead of myself.
The killing of the swamp monster was not a DIY public land hunt. I hunted on private land, and had 3 guides. Dr Ty and Blackdogg are members of the hunting club the monster called home and have intimate knowledge of the property. It was however a fair chase no fences hunt. I refuse to hunt anything that cannot run from me. They had both also seen the swamp monster on more than one occasion and knew his habits and tendencies. They told me he was big, he was bad, and he was nocturnal. That’s all I needed to know to convince me to drive down from "the rock" and have go at him. Jeff Ehlers my personal guide is well known in many outdoor circles from his record setting win in the Caldwell catfishing derby and the many listing he has in the P&Y and B&C records books.
The hunt was also not easy by any stretch. To start out with I had to leave half my milkshake on the table at the Purple Cow in "the Rock" so I could get down there on time to start the hunt. Everyone knows how hard that is. Then when we got there I had to ride double on a 4 wheeler only built for 1 over rough terrain without a helmet or any safety riding gear. Then Jeff put me on a forced march approx. 500 yards into the swamp monsters lair carrying my own gun, shells, and a climbing tree stand that weighed at least 18 pounds. The terrain was again rough, the path covered with leaves and acorns and up to 6 inches of water.
Then I had to climb up to a precarious perch 8ft up in a tree. I was instructed to put my blackberry on vibrate, and not play any computer games or watch pod casts for the remainder of the 2 hours of shooting light
I was then left....alone in the swamp monsters lair. Waiting on the certain death that was to come for him or me. For two hours I kept one eye on my PDA watching football scores scroll by and the other eye on the woods around me, with my ears trained to the slightest sound that could be him on the move. I was sweating profusely from the stress of the moment, or maybe because it was 75 degrees and mosquitoes were circling me like a fog. Every few moments a water moccasin or alligator would rise up and eyeball me from the watery grave that the swamp monster chose to call home. I tried to ignore the repeated calls of ivory billed woodpeckers circling over me and pecking on my tree. Snow geese flew over by the thousands, and squirrels were a constant distraction dropping acorns into the water. I struggled to maintain focus.
Then it happened. OU held off OSU to win the big 12 south, NO wait a minute, I heard a noise. It was a doe walking by to within 10 feet.
.....was the doe sent by the Great Spirit (Uncle Ted Nugent) to provide food for my family or was she just a decoy to break my focus from the task at hand. I passed her up and continued to wait. It was now 5:16 pm and shooting light was fading fast. Then two raccoons wondered by. I raised my trusty 06 and tried to wait for them both to line up in the scope for a one shot 2 kills scenario. I have longed for the 1 shot 2 kills varmint slam in SCI and have to this date not attained it. Apparently the swamp monster knew that.
After the coons wondered by I heard a faint rustling of leaves that quickly turned into the splash splash splash of hooves that had never touched dry ground. Then I saw him. It was the swamp monster I had heard so much about. He was walking briskly down a trail through the swamp into his lair. I waited until his head was behind a tree, raised my 06, aimed for his neck and fired. The monster hit the swampy ground with a huge splash that would not have scored well at all in Olympic diving competition. He then began to thrash and death flop around violently throwing water in all directions. I had missed my mark and shot his back out above his shoulders. I frantically tried to get him in the scope but could not. Though he was only 20 yards away, it was too dark and he was in too much water. I climbed down from my perch, circled the fallen giant, and put a killing shot into his heart. The swamp monster was dead. Long live the monster.
Some will say that sending a cold blooded killer like me into the monsters lair was not fair, that the monster did not have a chance against my superior hunting skills and modern weapons. I say the monster had to die, and did not deserve a chance.
