Sh*t our wives do...

Every time my wife was pregnant she went on a super “nesting” phase. I always dreaded the “don’t be mad when you get home”.

best was she tore out 2 whole floors of a mix of carpet and hardwood in s house we had just bought. Planned on doing floors just not that soon. She used a hammer, a screwdriver and a pair of garden shears to pull that off. Hauled it out and was burning it when I pulled in.

worst was same pregnancy, came home to find her putting up a new bathroom vanity. She wanted to surprise me. I walked in and she was mad as all get out, apparently she never learned about breakers and electricity. Said she spent 2 hours getting shocked trying to hook it up. I suggested turning off the light switch to start😂🤦‍♂️

And here I thought I had it tough when I came home and found all the kitchen wallpaper lying on the floor.

I feel better already.
 
For some reason my wife thinks that instead of slicing cheese, you have to gouge out chunks with a steak knife. :rolleyes: Drives me nuts!
Yep, serrated knife torture. Won't listen to reason when I tell her to throw all of those junk knives away and use a real knife. However, the silverware drawer is hers. The knife block is mine.
 
Maybe this is just my wife, but there seems to be a difference in preparedness. We’re spending the weekend in Steamboat. The day before we leave I filled up the truck with gas, topped off the wiper fluid because it’s going to be snowing on the way there, pre-packed my stuff, and loaded the ski stuff into the truck. My wife, on the other hand, an hour after we’re supposed to leave: “oh, on the way, we have to stop by Redbox to return a movie and by UPS because I’ve been meaning to return something for 2 weeks and today is the last day I can return it.”
 
I don't know about others, but I'm an animal if I leave any tools out in the garage, oil rag on my bench or don't clean up wood chips immediately. However, I'm being petty when I call her out for the 182 piece make-up, hair dryer and nail kit strung across the bathroom because they're where they belong.
 
My wife is a wonderful cook, fastidious housekeeper and life partner. She has put up with my hunting obsession's, dirty bird dogs in the house, butchering in the kitchen and me for 40+ years. She has never said no to a proposed hunting trip or begrudged me anything. I thank God daily for her presence in my life. However, it is a constant battle for me to meet her expectation on cleanliness and clutter. My peeve since day one has been when she starts a project to clean up my stuff with the expectation that it will meet her standard. Never going to happen as I am incapable of operating at that level.
 
I don't know about others, but I'm an animal if I leave any tools out in the garage, oil rag on my bench or don't clean up wood chips immediately. However, I'm being petty when I call her out for the 182 piece make-up, hair dryer and nail kit strung across the bathroom because they're where they belong.

That's my wife with her hair dryer. She leaves it on the vanity and it belongs under the vanity. It literally takes 2 seconds to put it away. Don't even get me started on changing the toilet paper roll.
 
My wife and I had been dating about a year when I took her on her first duck hunt. We were in a blind I had built on a pond and got setup nice and early. I explained to her the "plan" to stay hunkered down until I called out Shoot then stand and I'd let her have first crack at them. We get buzzed by some teal right at first light then it happens 3 mallards 2 green heads and a hen cup right into the decoys. I yell shoot and nothing happens but I'm not sure why as I'm watching the birds not her. I yell shoot again and nothing again. The birds have flared from her movements and are about to leave again I yell shoot. This time I hear 3 quick shots but instead of a bird or two falling I see pieces of my blind being blown into the pond. I looked at her and said "what happened"?. Her "the barrel got stuck in the camo netting". Me "then why did you shoot. Her screaming "BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO F@#$ING SHOOT"!
 
My wife and I had been dating about a year when I took her on her first duck hunt. We were in a blind I had built on a pond and got setup nice and early. I explained to her the "plan" to stay hunkered down until I called out Shoot then stand and I'd let her have first crack at them. We get buzzed by some teal right at first light then it happens 3 mallards 2 green heads and a hen cup right into the decoys. I yell shoot and nothing happens but I'm not sure why as I'm watching the birds not her. I yell shoot again and nothing again. The birds have flared from her movements and are about to leave again I yell shoot. This time I hear 3 quick shots but instead of a bird or two falling I see pieces of my blind being blown into the pond. I looked at her and said "what happened"?. Her "the barrel got stuck in the camo netting". Me "then why did you shoot. Her screaming "BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO F@#$ING SHOOT"!

That is classic.
 

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