Preferred Pronouns

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BucksnDucks

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The use of preferred pronouns has been brewing in my place of employment for the last few years. A few tags on emails and some discussions here and there, but nothing official. I've seen a surge of use lately from some higher ups and it appears policy decisions could be on the horizon.
I had a talk with a senior manager a few years back, who said we will soon be required to ask coworkers, clients, and customers their pronouns upon introductions. To this I replied, "Respectfully, that is a bad idea, I will not be doing that".
That was a couple years back and there is still no policy, other than a blanket don't discriminate.
Anyone else had to deal with anything like this? Curious if speech like this can be dictated? What I mean in particular is being forced to ask pronouns of everyone you meet or give "your pronoun" to them. Seems like a huge distraction and unnecessary to me.
 

Birdbander

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There may be more recent rulings but this one came up first. It does specify in the article that the ruling may apply only to academia. Requiring a person to say only certain things, things they don't believe logically stands opposed to.a persons free speech rights.
That being said, if a person isn't toeing the company line, there's a myriad of ways a human resources manager with an imagination can eliminate an employee.
 

JLS

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Ironically enough, I’m just finishing up an online training about LGBTQ+ people.

I guess I don’t see the issue with it. I don’t know what capacity your employer operates in, but I can see an employer wanting employees to take this into consideration.

Edit: if it bothers the people you’re interacting with, simply tell them it is company policy, and if they disagree with it to reach out to the company itself.
 
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OntarioHunter

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It's the transgender thing. I have met a few "ladies" who were excellent imitations and I think I might be uncomfortable to seem insulting if compelled to ask for their gender. If I had to as a condition of employment, I would be sure to apologize profusely and sincerely. "I'm not being a smartass!" The LGBT folks get enough harassment from idiots and I want it to be clear I'm no idiot.

And then there's the feminists who don't want to be categorized as belonging to or not belonging to anybody, hence the Ms rather Miss or Mrs. And I can respect that too. In the business world a person's marital status is no one's business. Really, it's a peanuts point and nothing to get blown up about.
 

BucksnDucks

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Ironically enough, I’m just finishing up an online training about LGBTQ+ people.

I guess I don’t see the issue with it. I don’t know what capacity your employer operates in, but I can see an employer wanting employees to take this into consideration.

Edit: if it bothers the people you’re interacting with, simply tell them it is company policy, and if they disagree with it to reach out to the company itself.
Care to elaborate on what the training was like?
Why concern is first impressions. I have a big problem starting off an interaction with a question many people might find ridiculous or offensive in order to perhaps please a small percentage of people. If people are treated with respect, is this really a big problem.
To be clear the question is about asking everyone pronouns. Some Brock Lesner looking alpha male to the most feminine of ladies. Seems insincere and virtue signally to me.
 
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Schaaf

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Meh, if someone wants me to call them
By something else I’ve got no issue with it. There’s a guy I’ve worked with for over 6 years that thinks my name is Josh and I’ve rolled with it since day 1. He’s even had arguments with people that have tried to correct him.

He has the social awareness of a cucumber.
 

brockel

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Meh, if someone wants me to call them
By something else I’ve got no issue with it. There’s a guy I’ve worked with for over 6 years that thinks my name is Josh and I’ve rolled with it since day 1. He’s even had arguments with people that have tried to correct him.

He had the social awareness of a cucumber.


I’ve been called Laken for years by people. They just can’t wrap their head around someone being called Laker
 

wllm

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Call me crazy, but if someone wants to be called “zhe” it’s no skin off my nose, I’ll do my best to call them zhe.

My name is Cody, I like people to call me Cody. You start calling me Bob we might have words after a bit.

Agreed. I feel like people blow the pronoun thing way out of proportion. I have a number of LGBTQ friends and family members, it’s always been straightforward. Call people be the name they prefer, ask if you are unsure or just use non-gendered pronouns or proper nouns.

Instead of “It’s his project, so he will will be submitting the report”

It’s Cody’s project so Cody will be submitting the report.

It’s their project so they will be submitting the report.

My wife asks with all her patients, my job isn’t really outward facing so we don’t have a policy.

Honestly I can’t think of this ever being an issue in any interaction I’ve had…

Now, made a couple jokes about boomers and got an email about being ageist. Apparently Ron did not like being reminded of his mortality.
 

wllm

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I’ve been called Laken for years by people. They just can’t wrap their head around someone being called Laker
That would drive me nuts, I correct people constantly about my wife’s name… I probably owe an apology to some Starbucks baristas for losing my cool…
 

rwc101

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My employer (yes, academia) allowed employees to change their pronouns in the HR system we all use. There were a few people I work with that changed their pronouns. Took a while to adjust, but I couldn't care less so long as they answer my emails on time.

Asking someone their pronouns as soon as you meet does sound awkward. Including your preferred pronouns in an email signature or Zoom username is becoming the norm though.
 

BucksnDucks

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Agreed. I feel like people blow the pronoun thing way out of proportion. I have a number of LGBTQ friends and family members, it’s always been straightforward. Call people be the name they prefer, ask if you are unsure or just use non-gendered pronouns or proper nouns.

Instead of “It’s his project, so he will will be submitting the report”

It’s Cody’s project so Cody will be submitting the report.

It’s their project so they will be submitting the report.

My wife asks with all her patients, my job isn’t really outward facing so we don’t have a policy.

Honestly I can’t think of this ever being an issue in any interaction I’ve had…

Now, made a couple jokes about boomers and got an email about being ageist. Apparently Ron did not like being reminded of his mortality.
"To be clear the question is about asking everyone pronouns. Some Brock Lesner looking alpha male to the most feminine of ladies. "
Do you ask people when you first meet them? I get calling people by the names they prefer, we already do that.
 
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