Wished you were a celebrity? I had enough of a taste of what celebrities go through at the local mall one time when someone mistook me for a certain celebrity of WWF fame. Long story, but a guy wanted my autograph despite my protests that I wasn't who he thought I was. The two real WWF guys (The BushWhackers) who were signing autographs kept egging him on. The yokel got mad when I signed my real name on his paper.
Played professional sports? Does eating the 72 oz steak at the Big Texan in Amarillo count?
Danced like Michael Jackson? No...but I have a husky/shepherd cross who will "Moonwalk" for treats.
Been abused by a priest? Nope! Our local priest was a nice old guy who represented what a priest is supposed to be like.
Been raped? Nope! A few gals have made me blush though.