Amberjack
New member
USEFUL BEER QUOTES
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
-Ernest Hemingway
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
He was a wise man who invented beer.
--Plato
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol
has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're
sober.
--William Butler Yeats
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
his fools.
--Ernest Hemingway
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
--Tom Waits
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
--Anonymous
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
--Anonymous
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
--Anonymous
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
--W.C. Fields
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
oxygen,for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital
ingredient in beer.
--Dave Barry
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's
just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
--Homer Simpson
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
--Homer Simpson.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
--Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all
of the time and have the time of your life.
--Anonymous
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying
himself a pleasure.
--Ambrose Bierce
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...
-- Brian O'Rourke
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -it
helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear
weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa
I drink to make other people interesting.
--George Jean Nathan
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
her.
--Anonymous
There once was a man named Sidney.
He drank 'til he ruined a kidney.
He drank and he drank.
It shrank and it shrank.
But he sure had fun now, didn't he?
--Gregg T Vulinec
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein
If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler
I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on. |
-- Oscar Levant
I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
-Ernest Hemingway
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
He was a wise man who invented beer.
--Plato
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol
has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're
sober.
--William Butler Yeats
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
his fools.
--Ernest Hemingway
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
--Tom Waits
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
--Anonymous
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
--Anonymous
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
--Anonymous
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
--W.C. Fields
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
oxygen,for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital
ingredient in beer.
--Dave Barry
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's
just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
--Homer Simpson
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
--Homer Simpson.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
--Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all
of the time and have the time of your life.
--Anonymous
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying
himself a pleasure.
--Ambrose Bierce
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...
-- Brian O'Rourke
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -it
helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear
weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa
I drink to make other people interesting.
--George Jean Nathan
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
her.
--Anonymous
There once was a man named Sidney.
He drank 'til he ruined a kidney.
He drank and he drank.
It shrank and it shrank.
But he sure had fun now, didn't he?
--Gregg T Vulinec
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein
If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler
I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on. |
-- Oscar Levant
I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais
