A little humour for your day

antelopedundee · Sep 28, 2023

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight. The flight attendant asked passenger John, "Would you like dinner?"
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket. He opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A woman was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
As the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window, the policeman ‍got out of his vehicle. As he approached the driver, the cop said, "I've been waiting for you all day."
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way with a warning, but no ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he could slow down, the bridge was right in front of him and his truck got wedged under it. Cars were backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car showed up. The cop got out of his car, walked over to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver responded, "No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas."

#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury, illness or a death in your immediate family. But that's it -- no other excuses whatsoever!"
Of course, there was a smart-ass student in the back of the room who raised his hand. He asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."