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Need your help, guys and gals - when do I say goodbye?

David58

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 13, 2020
Messages
620
Location
Northern NM
My Airedale York is the best dog I have ever had. Born on my oldest son's birthday twelve years ago, he has been the model of devotion to our family. Trail buddy, mouse and squirrel hunter and rabbit chaser, and overall fun and dependable companion.

He has a very enlarged prostate, which pretty much shuts down his ability to poop normally. He has declined now to nothing but liquid out the back end. He's also lost weight, down about 15 pounds from "prime". Very little energy, but still passes the puppy test when he greets us in the morning or after we have been gone, and still will do anything for a greenie or a chunk of cheese. But most of the day he sleeps, and except for the four times every night I have to put him out so he can try and poop, he sleeps all night.

I know the end is on the way, just don't really know how to tell. I think I am ready to do it when appropriate, but it might look different when the time does come. Just tearing me up inside to see him so sick.

Any wise counsel is appreciated. This old fart has never raised a dog from puppy before this guy, my thinking is certainly not going to be straight.

David
NM
 
David, sorry to hear, we did ours about a year ago Sunday and also struggled with the 'when'. It sucked. The day he stopped being able to move on his own and take himself outside to pee was our big sign so we went to our vet in Albuquerque. He had already beaten the vets timetable on his cancer, so he was ready. It was a bad day, but in the end I felt like we did right by him.

Good luck
 
I had to put down my best friend a few years ago. He was going into organ failure and had pretty much stopped eating. He would take a couple bites of his food or a treat only because he wanted to please me. I could tell he was in pain so I made the call. Not sure if its an option for you, but my local vet was willing to come to my place to do the deed after work for an extra $100. Thorne was always scared at the vets office and I really didn't want him to be afraid at the end. It was well worth the extra $$.
 
What can I say my friend?
It's a tough call, but his honor deserves the dignity of what he cannot tell you. He has given you it all and will continue even if he is hurting.
He loves you folks.
And you would do anything for him David.
Let him carry you 2 to a new start.

I say this through tears.
Then get a puppy for the new life.
 
A hard choice to make, very hard. If you’re thinking about it, it might be time to go. You could try to have a last couple days with him, take him somewhere he likes, give him a good memory and yourself as well, and then make the decision you have to. In the end, give your dog the grace and dignity it deserves. Dogs live for us, their loyalty is more pure than anything you’ll find in a holy book, and we need to honour that by doing right by them when they’re suffering.
 
I wish I had some good advice or wisdom for you but I don't. You'll know when its time.

I've only been through it once, and it still rips me up to think about. I spent the morning burning through kleenex explaining to our kids how I had that dog before I married their mom, before I bought our house, and before either one of them were born. The power was out at our vet, who turned down a pile of cash, and I had to burn up the phone asking other vet offices if they would put my best friend down. Finally got a compassionate response and took him in with a grouse wing in my pocket that he sniffed as he fell asleep. After a three hour drive north, my dad and I buried him under the crabapple where he pointed his first grouse, had a couple tugs on some 1964 Crown Royal, filled in the hole, placed some rocks, and spent the afternoon reminiscing about the joys of owning a once in a lifetime bird dog who gave me everything.

Best of luck getting through it when the time comes, and don't prolong things if his quality of life is too far gone.
 
I was choked up by post #3 and tearing up by #5. Hard spot to be in. Lots of legitimate advise above but we’re just reading the story. Only you will know when it’s time. I’ve experienced the “I’m ready” look from a few of my pups. Mostly just wanted to post condolences and support that you’ll know and you’ll make the right decision for your pup and family alike.
 
David,
It’s a tough decision. When my lab started declining quickly I took her to the vet and he told me she’s suffering. At that moment I had made my decision, this was a Wednesday. The vet was very compassionate and suggested go home and when you’re ready we’ll accommodate your needs. We waited two more days to have more time with her. Best of luck, it was a tear jerker.
 
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I’ve been where you are and it is really really hard place to be. I’m sorry. I asked the same question about my own situation a few years back and got some good advice.


I think one of the harder pieces of advice to swallow, that I also think is correct when viewing your dog’s life as a whole, is it is better to be a little too early than at all too late.
 
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What can I say my friend?
It's a tough call, but his honor deserves the dignity of what he cannot tell you. He has given you it all and will continue even if he is hurting.
He loves you folks.
And you would do anything for him David.
Let him carry you 2 to a new start.

I say this through tears.
Then get a puppy for the new life.
Thank you Hank. I really appreciate the call. My engineer brain has this all planned out, but my heart is getting in the way.

He is contentedly sitting at my feet right now, after getting a treat of a pinch of carnitas from dinner. Just a good old boy. Gonna be hard...

David
NM
 
I just went through this a few weeks ago. My boy had cancer. I may have kept him going longer than I should have but he had such a strong will to live. I guess it came down to him having no more quality of life with the getting sick and having a hard time eating.
We had a Lab that would have seizures. He would lay there and shake and his pecker would swell up like it was going to burst.The vet found his prostate was very enlarged. They neutered him and he never had another problem. I can't remember if they also removed his prostate. Whatever they did cured the enlarged prostate problem.
 
Several painful experiences have confirmed for me what I've read here. There is no relationship like that between humans and dogs. They depend on us to decide what is best for them, especially the final decision. And they trust us absolutely. That is why we must put aside our pain and fear of loss, and do what is best for the dog that knows you more than it knows itself. I send wishes for strength, courage and peace in your decision.
 
Dogs are so special. They worm their way into our hearts pretty good. I cried a lot when I made the decision but ultimately it came down to quality of life. That dog would have kept fighting to the very end but his health was declining fast. I felt terrible but when the day came, his passing was very peaceful. It didn't really sink in how much pain he was in until the vet gave him the first shot and he began to dream. His body was so relaxed and I hadn't seen that in a while.
To echo someone else's comment, we also had a vet come to our home and it was a really good decision for our dog. The vet even did a final paw print on some clay and that has been a nice keepsake.
I hope you can take comfort in knowing you gave him a loving and adventurous life.
 

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