cjcj
New member
HOW TO
DRIVE IN PHOENIX
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: FEE-NICKS'.
There are other names to learn such as Awatukee (Ah-wa-Too-Kee) but that
will be included in the advanced course.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is
from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop
101, your speed is expected to at least match the highway number. Anything
less is considered 'Wussy'.
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned
elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example,
cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks
with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually
stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly
shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense
that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour
barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of
the night to make the next day's driving a bit more
exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels,
rabbits, crows, vultures, havelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on
any of these items.
9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the '10'
are the same road unless it's the part of the 17 that's also called the
Maricopa Freeway.
SR202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY unless
it's east of the 101 and then it becomes the SanTan, then it ends, and then
becomes the SanTan again.
SR 143 is a street AND a freeway at the same
time. Either way, it's the Hohokam Expressway.
No one really knows what
purpose SR153 has exactly.
SR51 has been called both the Squaw Peak
Freeway and Piestewa Freeway. Depends who's talking to you.
US60 on the
east side is the Superstition Freeway. On the west side it's a diagonal road
with lots of traffic lights that's best avoided altogether.
Sometimes
you'll hear things on the traffic reports that refer to 'the innerloop.' No
one (besides traffic reporters) ever called anything in Phoenix by that name.
Matter of fact, I'm not sure where that is exactly.
Dunlap and Olive are
the same street.
Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same
street.
SR 101 is the Pima FWY east of I-17, which is the Black Canyon FWY
(south of the 101, north of the 101 it is Veterans Memorial HWY) unless you
are south of the 202 then the 101 becomes the Price FWY. SR 101 west of I-17
(at all times) is the Agua Fria FWY.
No one is quite sure where Bethany's
Home is.
Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. but, Cactus Rd.
doesn't become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead ends at a mountain.
10.
If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder
immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally activated.'
11.
If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are
considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly. If you return
the flip, you'll be shot.
12. For summer driving, it is advisable to
wear potholders on your hands.
13. It's a sport to make a yellow light
from at least 500 feet away.
DRIVE IN PHOENIX
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: FEE-NICKS'.
There are other names to learn such as Awatukee (Ah-wa-Too-Kee) but that
will be included in the advanced course.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is
from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop
101, your speed is expected to at least match the highway number. Anything
less is considered 'Wussy'.
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned
elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example,
cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks
with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually
stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly
shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense
that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour
barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of
the night to make the next day's driving a bit more
exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels,
rabbits, crows, vultures, havelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on
any of these items.
9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the '10'
are the same road unless it's the part of the 17 that's also called the
Maricopa Freeway.
SR202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY unless
it's east of the 101 and then it becomes the SanTan, then it ends, and then
becomes the SanTan again.
SR 143 is a street AND a freeway at the same
time. Either way, it's the Hohokam Expressway.
No one really knows what
purpose SR153 has exactly.
SR51 has been called both the Squaw Peak
Freeway and Piestewa Freeway. Depends who's talking to you.
US60 on the
east side is the Superstition Freeway. On the west side it's a diagonal road
with lots of traffic lights that's best avoided altogether.
Sometimes
you'll hear things on the traffic reports that refer to 'the innerloop.' No
one (besides traffic reporters) ever called anything in Phoenix by that name.
Matter of fact, I'm not sure where that is exactly.
Dunlap and Olive are
the same street.
Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same
street.
SR 101 is the Pima FWY east of I-17, which is the Black Canyon FWY
(south of the 101, north of the 101 it is Veterans Memorial HWY) unless you
are south of the 202 then the 101 becomes the Price FWY. SR 101 west of I-17
(at all times) is the Agua Fria FWY.
No one is quite sure where Bethany's
Home is.
Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. but, Cactus Rd.
doesn't become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead ends at a mountain.
10.
If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder
immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally activated.'
11.
If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are
considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly. If you return
the flip, you'll be shot.
12. For summer driving, it is advisable to
wear potholders on your hands.
13. It's a sport to make a yellow light
from at least 500 feet away.
