Cougar Hunting

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Funny stuff..

A good Cougar Hunter never leaves the cave without his spear!

Strategery:

A Cougar Hunter has many weapons and tactics at his disposal to hunt the most dangerous game, the mighty Cougar. Many prefer charm, some wit, others humor, and those that like the easy way out use their good looks. However, we at CougarPlanet.com endorse the following strategies:

Hunt with Your Spear - The Cougar Hunter's weapon of choice is his spear. Make sure to keep your spear in proper working condition, and don't be afraid to practice before the hunt.

Play a Wounded Zebra - Remember that Cougars love to hunt. A good Cougar Hunter always blends in with his surroundings and goes by the name "Guy Incognito." The only sure way to scare off a Cougar is to let her know that there will be no chase.

Catch and Release - Most Hunters prefer to spear a Cougar and then release her. While we endorse this method, we recognize that there are Hunters out there who might want to keep their Cougar as a pet. While we respect the courageousness of this method, we must sternly remind Hunters that a Cougar is only new and cute for a few months. Eventually she gets too comfortable, and at that point she becomes more trouble than she is worth. Remember, there are always more Cougars in the jungle.

Rely on Reconnaissance - A good Hunter walks into a room and can immediately spot all the available Cougars. He uses the following guide:

How to Spot a Cougar - Cougar identification can be difficult, as the Cougar lacks signature markings like tiger stripes or leopard spots. Pay attention to these areas:

Coat - Cougars have had time to perfect the art of fur maintenance, along with the financial ability to use only the best products. Look for luster and shine.

Hide - A Cougar may be caked in age-defying creams, lotions, and potions. The thicker the lacquer, the more likely it is that you've spotted a Cougar.

Scent - Cougars aren't afraid to advertise that they are on the hunt. If you can smell a woman's signature scent from farther than an arm's length away, you might in the presence of a Cougar.
 
Cool. But no place has big cats like where me and Stick hunt. Why he could kill the World Record bull elk in Florida if he wanted ...
 
Every time I go out looking for cougar I end up with a Gorilla. You ever eat a Gorilla sandwich and a side of thighs. Gorilla sandwiches I found out taste better with whip cream. A Gorilla and whip cream sandwich with a side of thighs. yum yum.
 

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