Californians

Ithaca 37

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Mar 4, 2001
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Home of the free, Land of the brave
CALIFORNIANS

So as to not be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes,
you know you're from California if :

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible,

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house,

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a
conversation in English,

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is
named Breeze,

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor,

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are
grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian,

8. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears,

10. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast,

11. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.,

12. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps,
and you don't even notice,

13. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Star bucks' wearing the
baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS
George Clooney,

14. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment,

15. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who
delivers your mail is into S&M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

16. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

17. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news
station: STORM WATCH,"

18. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks
himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class,

19. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all
busy with their cells or pagers,

20. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour
early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

21. Hey!!!! . . . . . .Is Pot Illegal????

22. Both you AND your dog have therapists, and lastly..

23. The Terminator is your governor
 
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