truck travesties

220yotekiller

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Oct 15, 2017
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768
l lost the engine in the first truck that l ever bought, it was a ram 1500 with a 5 speed transmission in it, it had the factory 323 engine that was a bit light for a truck that size but l took that truck everywhere.
as l more than a bit broke l opted to replace it myself, l scraped up some money and bought a new crate 360 engine, a new clutch, and a battery. l spent every spare minuet that l had pulling the old engine and replacing everything. a week before l was going on a vacation with my wife and infant son l got it finished and to test it out l elected to drive it up the the hayfields. l baled until about midnight when l ran out of diesel, so l climbed into my truck and headed down toward headquarters when l saw a light come on under the hood, thinking that was strange because l didn't have a hood light in that truck l drove for a few seconds when it hit me. the engine was on fire, l popped the hood to see if l could get it out and one look told me that it was a lost cause, the entire engine compartment was on fire. l was on a gravel road on a rock mountainside so there was nothing that l could do exept start climbing the mountain to get a bar of cell service to call my dad and the area deputy.
by the time anyone arrived, the truck was a complete loss, l had just filled the gas tank in it so it was just a complete firestorm.
to add insult to injury the deputy got in my face about how much l had been drinking, what was l doing out at that hour, ect... l was about to say something that l was about to regret when my my dad told him that as he was my boss that l had been working and that l didn't drink anyway, that seemed to calm things down and l was told to just move the burned out body as soon as l could.
needless to say, now l carry a fire extiguisher in every truck that l have owned since.
 
with the help of my old man... did a 2 piston 4 valve overhaul on a 60 series Detroit once.
To change the valve springs I'd put my hand on the bottom side of the head over the valve to hold it and my dad took a socket the same size as the keepers for the spring and smacked it with a hammer and got them to lock in place.
Ran it about a year after that, broke another piston, changed the remaining 4 and put a reman head on it.
Ran it about another year and spun a main bearing out in Iowa.
Towed it home, emery clothed the journal on the crank, changed all the main bearings and ran it about another year.
Ran it about another year when I was coming through town headed for the grain processor (making no money. working for less than minimum wage) when all hell broke loose.
Thought I'd spun another bearing.
Towed it home, dropped the oil pan and the crank was cracked.
Towed it to the shop and had a reman engine put in the truck.
 
with the help of my old man... did a 2 piston 4 valve overhaul on a 60 series Detroit once.
To change the valve springs I'd put my hand on the bottom side of the head over the valve to hold it and my dad took a socket the same size as the keepers for the spring and smacked it with a hammer and got them to lock in place.
Ran it about a year after that, broke another piston, changed the remaining 4 and put a reman head on it.
Ran it about another year and spun a main bearing out in Iowa.
Towed it home, emery clothed the journal on the crank, changed all the main bearings and ran it about another year.
Ran it about another year when I was coming through town headed for the grain processor (making no money. working for less than minimum wage) when all hell broke loose.
Thought I'd spun another bearing.
Towed it home, dropped the oil pan and the crank was cracked.
Towed it to the shop and had a reman engine put in the truck.
there was a good 2 years that I was adding a gallon of oil every 400-500 miles.
Kinda how I got into cold weather camping.
couldn't idle it overnight or it looked like a James Bond smoke screen when I'd take off in the morning so I bought a 0 degree bag and would just cold start it.
Pouring a gallon of cold oil down the 3 foot fill tube on a cabover sucks ass when it like 20 degrees out and you've got no heat in the morning.
When I was smart I'd keep them under the seat next to the heater and pour them in at night before I went to bed.
But then you'd get oil and shit and your hands when you were getting ready to go to sleep so that sucked to.
What a way to make a living in the 21st century! :ROFLMAO:
 
there was a good 2 years that I was adding a gallon of oil every 400-500 miles.
Kinda how I got into cold weather camping.
couldn't idle it overnight or it looked like a James Bond smoke screen when I'd take off in the morning so I bought a 0 degree bag and would just cold start it.
Pouring a gallon of cold oil down the 3 foot fill tube on a cabover sucks ass when it like 20 degrees out and you've got no heat in the morning.
When I was smart I'd keep them under the seat next to the heater and pour them in at night before I went to bed.
But then you'd get oil and shit and your hands when you were getting ready to go to sleep so that sucked to.
What a way to make a living in the 21st century! :ROFLMAO:
headed out of town on my was to Wisconsin one night, blew the turbo climbing an overpass.
coasted her down the other side and onto a country road.
Was only about 8 miles from our shop so I dropped the trailer on the side of the road, had someone else come pick it up and my dad towed my back to the shop with a 1999 suburban and a yank em strap. :ROFLMAO:
 
there was a good 2 years that I was adding a gallon of oil every 400-500 miles.
Kinda how I got into cold weather camping.
couldn't idle it overnight or it looked like a James Bond smoke screen when I'd take off in the morning so I bought a 0 degree bag and would just cold start it.
Pouring a gallon of cold oil down the 3 foot fill tube on a cabover sucks ass when it like 20 degrees out and you've got no heat in the morning.
When I was smart I'd keep them under the seat next to the heater and pour them in at night before I went to bed.
But then you'd get oil and shit and your hands when you were getting ready to go to sleep so that sucked to.
What a way to make a living in the 21st century! :ROFLMAO:

I had buddies like this who were definitely not car guys. One guy would carry a 12-quart case of oil around in the trunk of his old Mercedes sedan and just dump one in every couple days like it was no big deal. The other guy had a 1980's Jeep Wagoneer that was cool but had seen better days, we pulled up to a surf spot one day and there was smoke wafting out of the hood, I said "Hey, your car is on fire!!!", and he looked over his shoulder and said "Oh, it's been doing that for a while now after I turn it off, let's get some surf"...
 
I just had new tires put on a little Ford Ranger. Not 4 miles out of town while I was crossing a bridge the front left tire falls off. As I slide across the bridge sparks are flying everywhere and the tire is bouncing off of the guardrail into the door. The shop fixed everything on their own dime.

Same pickup and my little brother was going to get my dad out of the hayfield when our pet coon jumped on his head and he drove through the fence. He looked up and saw he was on the wrong side of the fence so just drove through it again to get back on the trail. He was probably five.

Same pickup a couple years later caught on fire from some grass stuck up underneath it and burnt down on the way to a barbecue and dance out in the middle of nowhere.
 
I just had new tires put on a little Ford Ranger. Not 4 miles out of town while I was crossing a bridge the front left tire falls off. As I slide across the bridge sparks are flying everywhere and the tire is bouncing off of the guardrail into the door. The shop fixed everything on their own dime.

Same pickup and my little brother was going to get my dad out of the hayfield when our pet coon jumped on his head and he drove through the fence. He looked up and saw he was on the wrong side of the fence so just drove through it again to get back on the trail. He was probably five.

Same pickup a couple years later caught on fire from some grass stuck up underneath it and burnt down on the way to a barbecue and dance out in the middle of nowhere.
I love so many things about the story of the 5-year old kid and the coon. Need more of that kind of stuff happening in kids' lives.
 
I had buddies like this who were definitely not car guys. One guy would carry a 12-quart case of oil around in the trunk of his old Mercedes sedan and just dump one in every couple days like it was no big deal. The other guy had a 1980's Jeep Wagoneer that was cool but had seen better days, we pulled up to a surf spot one day and there was smoke wafting out of the hood, I said "Hey, your car is on fire!!!", and he looked over his shoulder and said "Oh, it's been doing that for a while now after I turn it off, let's get some surf"...
My first truck was an old Dodge Dakota. I never checked the oil. There was a curve a few miles away from my house and if the low oil dummy light came on I would just add a quart when I got home. Funny thing was that it ended up being the transmission that went out first.
 
Just today going onto the Air Force Academy.... I'm about half a mile out and I can see a "cloud" headed my way. Some jack leg driving a fairly new (last 5 years) Explorer like he stole it with THICK, gray black smoke POURING out of the dial exhaust..... wish I could have heard the inevitable detonation.
 
there was a good 2 years that I was adding a gallon of oil every 400-500 miles.
Kinda how I got into cold weather camping.
couldn't idle it overnight or it looked like a James Bond smoke screen when I'd take off in the morning so I bought a 0 degree bag and would just cold start it.
Pouring a gallon of cold oil down the 3 foot fill tube on a cabover sucks ass when it like 20 degrees out and you've got no heat in the morning.
When I was smart I'd keep them under the seat next to the heater and pour them in at night before I went to bed.
But then you'd get oil and shit and your hands when you were getting ready to go to sleep so that sucked to.
What a way to make a living in the 21st century! :ROFLMAO:
That is not making a living….
 
I just had new tires put on a little Ford Ranger. Not 4 miles out of town while I was crossing a bridge the front left tire falls off. As I slide across the bridge sparks are flying everywhere and the tire is bouncing off of the guardrail into the door. The shop fixed everything on their own dime.

Same pickup and my little brother was going to get my dad out of the hayfield when our pet coon jumped on his head and he drove through the fence. He looked up and saw he was on the wrong side of the fence so just drove through it again to get back on the trail. He was probably five.

Same pickup a couple years later caught on fire from some grass stuck up underneath it and burnt down on the way to a barbecue and dance out in the middle of nowhere.
Knew I’d heard that story before somewhere…

 
Knew I’d heard that story before somewhere…

Tire store monkeys.

A buddy of mine had the local tire store do a rebuild the front end of his Cummins truck. A few hundred miles later the pitman arm came off the steering box at 65mph. He was on a curvy section of highway next to the Salmon River. He hit the brakes and the truck did a 90° turn and started barrel rolling. He ended up being OK considering. The spooky part was his wife and two young daughters (under 3) were supposed to ride with him but due to a last minute obligation they had to follow him and return home early. They were behind him and watched the wreck.
 
My little bro was guiding out in Alamosa back in the early 2000's and I flew out to meet him to do some skiing and drive back to KY. Well he had just gotten new tires and we made it from Alamosa, up to Vail and all the way back to somewhere in KS when we were going around 70 down the interstate and one of his rear tires fell off, but, luckily the hub fell down into the wheel and kind of kept turning. We got to the side of the road safely, although we were pretty freaked out. Neither of our phones had service but he had an old flip phone that hadn't been turned on in years in the glove box and we turned it on and got 1 bar to call 911 and they sent a wrecker. The tire place hadn't torqued the lug nuts and we had sheered them all off over the course of the trip from Alamosa to KS...
 
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