Spit takes

[gouch]

What are some of the lines you have heard or read that have cause one of those unfortunate uncontrollable blasts just as you took a drink right at the wrong moment?

We had been working on a hot day in early July when we stopped in at a small-town Mom and Pop store for something cold to drink on the drive back to the office. The cashier was a very attractive 30 something young woman. The customer ahead of me in line was an elderly local woman. As is usual in these small towns they had to gab all throughout the transaction. The elderly woman asked the cashier if she was going to the lake on the fourth of July. The cashier said that she wasn't sure if she could take another night at the lake. The lady laughed and said "Yeah, I heard you had a pretty good time up there last weekend." I decided to take a sip of my drink just as the cashier responded. "All I remember is I woke up completely naked with my feet in the lake and my crack full of sand." That's all she wrote, soda everywhere.

 

[EYJONAS!]

 

[Birdbander]

What are some of the lines you have heard or read that have cause one of those unfortunate uncontrollable blasts just as you took a drink right at the wrong moment?

We had been working on a hot day in early July when we stopped in at a small-town Mom and Pop store for something cold to drink on the drive back to the office. The cashier was a very attractive 30 something young woman. The customer ahead of me in line was an elderly local woman. As is usual in these small towns they had to gab all throughout the transaction. The elderly woman asked the cashier if she was going to the lake on the fourth of July. The cashier said that she wasn't sure if she could take another night at the lake. The lady laughed and said "Yeah, I heard you had a pretty good time up there last weekend." I decided to take a sip of my drink just as the cashier responded. "All I remember is I woke up completely naked with my feet in the lake and my crack full of sand." That's all she wrote, soda everywhere.

The first thing out ot your mouth shouldn't have been soda, it should have been, "Would you like to see my new boat!"

 

[EYJONAS!]

Shampoo the Buffalo.

 

[Hem]

Hilarious.
The thirty somethings were good times.

 

[Little Big Man MT Chris]

I would have lost my S?$& as well, great story !

 

[OntarioHunter]

What are some of the lines you have heard or read that have cause one of those unfortunate uncontrollable blasts just as you took a drink right at the wrong moment?

We had been working on a hot day in early July when we stopped in at a small-town Mom and Pop store for something cold to drink on the drive back to the office. The cashier was a very attractive 30 something young woman. The customer ahead of me in line was an elderly local woman. As is usual in these small towns they had to gab all throughout the transaction. The elderly woman asked the cashier if she was going to the lake on the fourth of July. The cashier said that she wasn't sure if she could take another night at the lake. The lady laughed and said "Yeah, I heard you had a pretty good time up there last weekend." I decided to take a sip of my drink just as the cashier responded. "All I remember is I woke up completely naked with my feet in the lake and my crack full of sand." That's all she wrote, soda everywhere.

"Which crack?" Sorry, I just couldn't resist.

 

[Little Big Man MT Chris]

"Which crack?" Sorry, I just couldn't resist.

I thought the same just did pull the trigger

 

[jryoung]

Fireside late night at bear camp

"This is better than doing a bunch of coke and going to Taco Bell" - John Cushman

 

[Little Big Man MT Chris]

Fireside late night at bear camp

"This is better than doing a bunch of coke and going to Taco Bell" - John Cushman

That is a classic

 

[gouch]

"Which crack?" Sorry, I just couldn't resist.

I didn't ask but my dirty old man brain had already painted a picture.

 

[Stocker]

Where’s this lake? May have to make a scouting trip.

 

[Huntkook]

 

[marshman]

I didn't ask but my dirty old man brain had already painted a picture.

Yep, my imagination is just fine this morning, thanks for the chuckle in the morning.

 

[Redman]

A coworker and I met for a drink after a long hot day working out in the middle of a construction site. We were setting at the bar and right when Carl was taking a drink I told the lady bartender "If Carl gets to stink"n" let me know and I'll have wait in the truck!" Carl shot beer out his nose and moth clear back to the mirror behind the bar! I am not sure which was funnier the explosion of beer from Carl or the look an the bartenders face.

 

[gouch]

Where’s this lake? May have to make a scouting trip.

We don't reveal our honey holes in this forum.

 

[rwc101]

I wish I could remember what made me shoot strawberry milk out my nose in the 3rd grade. Probably wasn't funnier than pink milk shooting out my nose and across the cafeteria table.

 

[LuketheDog]

We were at my buddy's grandparents' ranch after hunting ducks on their pond one morning. His grandad, Darwin, had been diagnosed with kidney stones a day or two before and was suffering a bit. His grandma was pouring us some coffee to go with her fantastic from-scratch breakfast she made every time we were there, because she loved us kids, but she was not as empathetic when it came to her rancher husband. She suddenly cocked her head to the side, looks at us with a kooky grin, and says "Listen up boys, I just heard the bathroom door close, I bet Darwin is in there about to drain the pipes, if one of those stones comes out his peeper you're going to hear him singin' like one of those high-pitched Italian opera ladies". I freaking died!

 

[noharleyyet]

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

-Ernest Hemingway

 

[Schaaf]

I paid a kid $5 to pull the “sphincter says what” at a public meet and greet with Matt Rosendale when he ran for Senate in 2018. I couldn’t breathe for 45 minutes afterwards.