Dad Joke thread

[elkduds]

 

[kansasdad]

View this content on Instagram

View this content on Instagram

 

[kansasdad]

 

[kansasdad]

Why do turkeys wear stilts in the spring??



Because there isn’t a flamingo season!

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[Wildabeest]

View attachment 322423

Reminds me of the proposed merger of YouTube, Twitter and Facebook. They were going to call it YouTwitFace.

 

[kansasdad]

Why might it be impossible to plant flowers???






When you haven’t botany!!

 

[seeth07]

Dad can we go fishing?

No we have work to do.

<10 minutes later>

Dad can we go fishing?

No we have work to do.

<10 minutes later>

Dad can we go fishing?

No we have work to do. You ask me again and I'm going to duct tape your mouth shut.

<10 minutes later>

Dad do you have any duct tape?

No.

Dad can we go fishing?

 

[kansasdad]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[Wild Bill]

 

[noharleyyet]

Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the moon and then say "I guess you had to be there."

 

[2rocky]

Woke up this morning to a murder of Crows flying East. I wondered aloud where they all were going. ML responded immediately "To the Crowbar".

 

[2rocky]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[TX Trophy Hunter]

People are always shocked when they find out I’m a bad electrician.

 

[kansasdad]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[Greyman]

View attachment 326317
View attachment 326318

Yea, I got it. Might be a Texas thing. I tried tipping a big bull one time, but he just swayed back and forth. I asked him, "Mister bull, why don't you fall over?" He said, "We bulls wobble but we don't fall down."