Sh*t our wives do...

Europe

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Joined
Dec 26, 2018
Messages
1,506
I'm not going to go back and see if I already mentioned this one. But my wife with devote 1 hour of her evening to texting with her sister. Much of the time is simply spent staring at her phone waiting while her sister texts back. The entire thing could have been discussed with a 5 minute phone call but noooo, I get to cook and clean and she's "connecting with family".

F for eFFiciency.
I hate to give away one of my "sisters" secrets but while your cooking and cleaning, she is texting no one ;)
 

Stocker

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Joined
Aug 30, 2019
Messages
876
Location
Nebraska
Mine is decent overall, but……. She is a ball of fire, and she can’t stand to see a man relax. I swear a hypnotist has made her mind trigger at the sound of my recliner flipping up.

There won’t even be anything to do, and she’ll make up something.

(Recliner clicks) “I know you got up at 2 am to get your work done so you could come back and help me all afternoon, but could you go outside and clean the drier vent you did yesterday. When you get that done please water the flowers after the rain stops.”
 

Gellar

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Jan 31, 2014
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3,384
Location
The Driftless Area
Whenever I see a shift in that direction I point it out to my wife. She may slap me and banish me to the couch for a night, but she shifts back the other way. It's worth it.
My wife is always telling me I’m just like my dad. I think I’ll start dishing it back to her telling her she’s just like her mom.
 

CPAjeff

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Joined
Dec 31, 2017
Messages
518
Location
Beneath these Western Skies . . .
My wife thinks dinner rolls are to be eaten raw and steak to be well done (somewhere between killed twice and coal-like in appearance). She can never make up her mind when ordering food, and a simple dinner at Oliver Garden goes something like this:

Waiter: Hello, can I take your order?
Wife: Yes, I'd like the spaghetti with meatballs. But . . . instead of meatballs, I'd like chicken. Instead of spaghetti sauce, I'd like alfredo sauce. And . . . instead of spaghetti noodles, I'd like fettuccine pasta.
Waiter: . . . Umm . . . so you're saying you'd like children alfredo?
Wife: . . . No . . . I'd like the spaghetti with meatballs. But . . . instead of meatballs, I'd like chicken. Instead of spaghetti sauce, I'd like alfredo sauce. And . . . instead of spaghetti noodles, I'd like fettuccine pasta.
Waiter: . . . Umm . . .
Me: Sorry, we just picked her up from the mental hospital and this is her first time in public in a long time.
Waiter: HAHAHA
Wife: Looks like you'll be sleeping on the couch for a while.
Me: WTH . . . oops, sorry dear. I'll try harder to be more patient and nice next time.


She totally puts up with more of my idiocracy than I put up with hers!
 
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JEL

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Joined
May 20, 2013
Messages
1,227
Location
Helena, MT
I have a buddy who has been married three times and is about to go for #4. He is going for 4 because he lets all this stuff bother him and he has to say something about it everytime. Can't keep his mouth shut. I have been married 32 years and have told him dude. Shut your stupid mouth. Roll with it. Let things slide. As BF says. Peace before justice.
 

neffa3

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Joined
Apr 17, 2015
Messages
7,430
Location
Wenatchee
I have a buddy who has been married three times and is about to go for #4. He is going for 4 because he lets all this stuff bother him and he has to say something about it everytime. Can't keep his mouth shut. I have been married 32 years and have told him dude. Shut your stupid mouth. Roll with it. Let things slide. As BF says. Peace before justice.
Nothing quite like dividing your assets down to 1/8 of what they would have been.
 

JEL

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2013
Messages
1,227
Location
Helena, MT
I’ve always told my wife divorces are like burning your hand on a stove. Do it once, it was a mistake, twice you’re not learning but you still may. 3 times, there’s something wrong with you and you should avoid stoves.
We have had that conversation.
 

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