Kids sports

Stocker

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Aug 30, 2019
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Nebraska
So I played a lot of sports as a kid. I was pretty average at everything and enjoyed it. I never remember parent ever screaming and yelling, even during the little college football I played people generally acted normal.

Fast forward: my son is 8 and I coached his COACH PITCH baseball team this year. Horrible mistake. I loved teaching the kids the fundamentals, it was fun and they got so much better throughout the year. But the parents………. I got routine butt chewings, was told multiple times I didn’t know how to setup a lineup and I needed to play kids at X position. The whole team bats and I played kids about everywhere so they could all get a feel for the spots. I also emphasized winning, I mean it’s important
try to win, but it’s not everything. I guess I missed the part where I needed to berate the 8th grade kid umpiring while also trying to text his girlfriend for missing a call when the score is 20-0. In a COACH PITCH game. Almost came to blows with a parent of a kid on my team for dogging his child so bad he was a bawling wreck. I was pissed then thought to myself. “That would be a great example of sportsmanship to these kids. Their coach going into the stands to pummel a heckler.”


Now my son is playing THIRD GRADE basketball. These kids can barley dribble and shoot like .03%. Parents just shout all kinds of negative things from the stands. My wife’s cousin who has a son on the team told my wife “you need to teach your son how to shoot, he’s not very good at making baskets”. Yeah, because he’s 8 you idiot! I’m not a coach but got volunteered to run the clock at home games. Saturday I got caught up watching the game and forget to turn the clock on at one point. A parent stands up and yells “turn the clock on idiot!” So I did, then turned and told the guy to get a life and get a grip on reality. There’s 2 minutes left, the score is like 18-8 them. I doubt our kids who have scored 8 points in 38 minutes are gonna score 10 in 2……

Maybe I’m just a loser and have a loser mentality. Next year when we play 9 and under real baseball I can teach the kids to charge the mound, get thrown out of some games, mock players from the other team, throw bats and helmets when they strike out, hell maybe I’ll even fight the other coach for a lesson in sportsmanship.
 

Nhenry

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Whenever my daughter grows up and gets into that stuff there is no way in hell I'd ever yell at her the way some parents yell at their kids. That's a one-way-ticket to making them lose interest in something they'd otherwise love. If you want to positively impact your child's game, teach them at home in a fun way that they'll enjoy.

Parents need to learn how to lose, just like their kids do.

I think you were doing the proper thing by giving everyone a feel of the field at different positions. It's something I wish my coaches would have done, instead of the classic "Coach's son at SS, fast Mexican kid at center, worst player in right, etc." People need to trust the coach and let them do their job. It's one of the main reasons I hate sitting in the stands at high school games.

If I were you, I'd get them started on storming the mound as soon as possible though. Make sure they know a swift right hook is better than tackling any day lol
 

mulecreek

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Rock Springs, WY
I feel your pain. The absolute worst part of coaching youth sports is the parents. Without fail I will have at least one that wants to complain about something. In my experience it has been the moms more so than the dads. Or at least the moms feel more comfortable sharing their displeasure with me than the dads do. I coach youth football and baseball and some basketball when my boys were younger. Used to think baseball parents were the worst until my kids started playing hockey. Those parents are on a whole other level. I just don't have to listen to it since I don't coach hockey.

Best way to get the nonsense to stop is to hand your whistle and clip board to the parent complaining and tell them best of luck its your team now. Did that twice in baseball and it stopped it both times. Second worst part of youth sports are the group texts.
 

Stocker

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Nebraska
I feel your pain. The absolute worst part of coaching youth sports is the parents. Without fail I will have at least one that wants to complain about something. In my experience it has been the moms more so than the dads. Or at least the moms feel more comfortable sharing their displeasure with me than the dads do. I coach youth football and baseball and some basketball when my boys were younger. Used to think baseball parents were the worst until my kids started playing hockey. Those parents are on a whole other level. I just don't have to listen to it since I don't coach hockey.

Best way to get the nonsense to stop is to hand your whistle and clip board to the parent complaining and tell them best of luck its your team now. Did that twice in baseball and it stopped it both times. Second worst part of youth sports are the group texts.
Oh the texts………. I’ll send “the game is at 6 on XYX field.


What else needs to be said? The towns we play in around here are almost all less than 1000 people, you could drive every street in town in 10 minutes. But no…… “we’ve forgotten how to get to XYZ field since we played there last week” then Jim chimes in with a turn by turn, then Gary says he knows a shortcut, then Mary says the road is closed on that shortcut.

And the snack patrol………… Pam: “Im signed up for Friday but we’re gonna be on vacation can someone cover” Deb:”I’ll cover for you if you cover for me on my signup date because I’ll be covering for My daughters game for Julie who’s covering for you on vacation”.

Forget the snacks, bring me a bottle of liquor, I’m gonna need it.
 

SO7mm

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Mar 24, 2017
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East SF Bay Area
I'm on year 5 coaching my son and year 7 with my daughter for baseball and softball. Starting taking notes on all the parents and kids now so when you start actually drafting teams you can leave the problem ones off your team. The team meeting at the beginning of the year is the time to lay out the rules of conduct for the players and parents. Parents need to leave their kids, you and the umpires alone at all times during games and practice or their kid sits. I don't lay that out at the beginning but I wouldn't be afraid to let a problem parent know that's how it is.

Your doing a good thing coaching and it should be some of the best memories you have with your kids. Don't let the A hole parents get to you, control them instead of engaging with them and coach the kids up the best you can.
 

mulecreek

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Rock Springs, WY
3rd worst part is jersey and sock sizing. Without fail at least one parent will send a group text letting me know that the socks or jersey size they requested for their little TB12 is too big and would like me to fix that.

4th worst part is picture day.
 

duckhunt

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Newhartford Iowa
When my kids were in sports I saw this so many times. I actually saw a father red faced and screaming at a baseball coach because his kid didn't get enough play time. The coach actually did a great job at alternating the the kids just like you explained. To be honest his kid sucked bad but the dad thought he should play the whole game. Another incident was a basketball game and a mom for one of our players would yell out D em up meaning defense. A mother for the other team got furious and yelled at her why are you saying beat them up. You should have seen the look on her face when we explained to her what she didn't hear. There was alot of other incidents. I guess all kids need a participation trophy these days.
 

EKYHunter

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Dec 13, 2020
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Around here, most parents already have the kids MLB, NBA, or NFL career planned by the time they’re 5! Seriously though, it’s pathetic how a lot of adults act concerning sports. Screaming, cursing, berating kids, fighting, etc. I think a lot of parents try to relive their youth thru their kids. The importance and expectations that the parents place or have on sports is just unreal.
 

Stocker

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Nebraska
I'm on year 5 coaching my son and year 7 with my daughter for baseball and softball. Starting taking notes on all the parents and kids now so when you start actually drafting teams you can leave the problem ones off your team. The team meeting at the beginning of the year is the time to lay out the rules of conduct for the players and parents. Parents need to leave their kids, you and the umpires alone at all times during games and practice or their kid sits. I don't lay that out at the beginning but I wouldn't be afraid to let a problem parent know that's how it is.

Your doing a good thing coaching and it should be some of the best memories you have with your kids. Don't let the A hole parents get to you, control them instead of engaging with them and coach the kids up the best you can.
I really don’t get bothered by it other than when it affects the kids. I just can’t believe grown “adults” can act that way at little kids’ games. I understand to a point when they are older and scholarships are on the possible line, but if you are a “grownup” and heckling, belittling, arguing with players or umpire where the kids are under 13, you need to seek mental help immediately.

I may make a sign like that next year.

“If a little kids baseball game causes you to have uncontrollable outbursts please call: “

And put the number to the nearest mental hospital on there.
 

Trial153

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Jan 4, 2016
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New York
I have just the opposite. My son is 10 and plays in divison one travel soccer. He played on the 12-13 year old division one team and then this winter played on grade 2, 13-14 year old team.
He is back to grade one this winter, as an 11 year old on the 12-13 team. For the most part its very competitive, most kids have had some semblence of professional training, one on one coaching and skills camps are the norm. Its an all year sport for him, weekly training and lessons and if our school doesnt orgainaze a travel team he is good enough to try out and make the commercially ran teams near by. the parents for the most part are good people and act appropriately .
The school run rec leagues are basiclly a baby sitting session, the skill level just isnt there so we pulled him out of it to play in more competitive leagues. Its a full time job getting him to lessons and practices weekly. Luckily he is good student as well, so he stays on top of his grades and school work.
I am very thankfully for anyone that volunteers their time to coach and work with the kids. Many time its thankless i am sure, however i have to say in our community are the surrounding areas the parents are very appreciative .
 

2rocky

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Jul 23, 2010
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10 year CYO basketball coach here....

When it comes to parent behavior, the league director needs to have your back. The Coach is NOT to be bothered and parents who are poor spectators will be banned from the game on their second offense.



Print up a pile of these, and hand them to critical parents if and when they get in your face. This is posted on each of the gym doors during "playoffs":




1642453885479.png
 

Dougfirtree

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Jul 27, 2016
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Adirondacks
I feel your pain. The absolute worst part of coaching youth sports is the parents. Without fail I will have at least one that wants to complain about something. In my experience it has been the moms more so than the dads. Or at least the moms feel more comfortable sharing their displeasure with me than the dads do. I coach youth football and baseball and some basketball when my boys were younger. Used to think baseball parents were the worst until my kids started playing hockey. Those parents are on a whole other level. I just don't have to listen to it since I don't coach hockey.

Best way to get the nonsense to stop is to hand your whistle and clip board to the parent complaining and tell them best of luck its your team now. Did that twice in baseball and it stopped it both times. Second worst part of youth sports are the group texts.
Oh, the group texts and emails...

I've been super lucky with coaching. I see minimal jerkery from parents when I'm in the stands and coaching my son's indoor soccer team this winter has been delightful. The logistics have been the tougher part. You learn pretty quick which parents check their mail, which ones read for comprehension, etc. 😅

Stocker, things sound pretty rough. I'd be tempted to just stop the game and address the parents.
 

QuazyQuinton

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Jun 8, 2020
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388
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Western Oregon
Whenever my daughter grows up and gets into that stuff there is no way in hell I'd ever yell at her the way some parents yell at their kids. That's a one-way-ticket to making them lose interest in something they'd otherwise love. If you want to positively impact your child's game, teach them at home in a fun way that they'll enjoy.

Parents need to learn how to lose, just like their kids do.

I think you were doing the proper thing by giving everyone a feel of the field at different positions. It's something I wish my coaches would have done, instead of the classic "Coach's son at SS, fast Mexican kid at center, worst player in right, etc." People need to trust the coach and let them do their job. It's one of the main reasons I hate sitting in the stands at high school games.

If I were you, I'd get them started on storming the mound as soon as possible though. Make sure they know a swift right hook is better than tackling any day lol

As far as charging the mound, as soon as they're old enough to understand, you need to show them the YouTube clip of Robin Ventura charging Nolan Ryan. One of my all-time favorite sports moments, and it will make them think twice about doing something stupid.

QQ
 

Nhenry

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Dec 19, 2020
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580
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Kansas
As far as charging the mound, as soon as they're old enough to understand, you need to show them the YouTube clip of Robin Ventura charging Nolan Ryan. One of my all-time favorite sports moments, and it will make them think twice about doing something stupid.

QQ
I mean, how could you not?
 

Backofbeyond

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Jan 2, 2018
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Boise, ID
My wife played sports in high school, I played all the way through the collegiate level. That being said, this right here, all of it... is why I tell my wife I hope our boys don't want to play sports.
 

Stocker

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Aug 30, 2019
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876
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Nebraska
Oh, the group texts and emails...

I've been super lucky with coaching. I see minimal jerkery from parents when I'm in the stands and coaching my son's indoor soccer team this winter has been delightful. The logistics have been the tougher part. You learn pretty quick which parents check their mail, which ones read for comprehension, etc. 😅

Stocker, things sound pretty rough. I'd be tempted to just stop the game and address the parents.
I did at pickup 1 practice. I even pulled the 1 guy aside one night and explained to him that kids on my team are not to be belittled while we are playing a game (it shouldn’t happen period). It toned down the craziness, but there were still things that made me look into the stands and shake my head. I’m thinking maybe beating up a parent might send a message to the rest of them. The problem is the ones I can whip aren’t trouble. 🤣
 

corndog1

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Jul 4, 2017
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222
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Bozeman Mt
My nine year old girl played travel soccer last fall. Our club made us sign a sheet saying we would be positive at all times during the games. No talking to your kid allowed ect. Absolutely no talking to the Volunteer referee. I'm thinking jeez these kids are nine and ten years old how serious do people take this stuff at this age. I am glad our club does this and the parents follow it. Because I saw some things in other towns that made me consider just pulling her. I couldn't believe the dirty play, yelling pissed off parents, and how mean some parents were to their own little girls.
 

neffa3

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Apr 17, 2015
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Wenatchee
I'll admit to being a parent that gets entirely too worked up over kids sports, especially soccer. But I don't give two shits about winning or what anyone else's kids are doing, or coaching/refing. But I damn sure expect my kids to "try" hard every game. If I see them dinking around or not trying their best I definitely get on them, I've even requested my son come out of a game and sit on the bench for a while.

What I haven't managed to mitigate is when they get really down on themselves for the quality of their play. I keep reminding them it's about effort. Everyone will have bad days. My son is definitely prone to self-loathing.
 

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