Gastro Gnome - Eat Better Wherever

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    Shout Dirty

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    Balls

    Balls A Scotish man was at a baseball . It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the mound, he took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming "Run, Run." This happened two more times, with a single and a...
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    Let's play who wants to be a Millionaire

    Let's Play - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! A husband and wife were getting ready for bed one evening. "Honey," the fellow asked, "do you want to have make love tonight?" "No dear, not tonight," she replied. "Is that your final answer?" "Yes, that is my final answer!" "In that case,"...
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    How to deal with an Angry wife

    How To Deal With Your Angry Wife Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and...
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    Italian vacation

    You must use an Italian accent for this joke to work: One Day Ima go to Detroit to a Bigga Otel, I go down to eata breakfast, I tella waitress, I wanna two es of toast. She brings me only one . I tella her I wanta two . She say go to the toilet. I say to her you no understand, I...
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    Italian Phonics

    A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I...
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    Smoking Sisters

    Two nuns were sitting behind he Convent smoking, complaining of the difficulty in hiding thier smoking habit from Mother Superior. Nun one said to the other that she had the perfect solution, A condomn. easy to open the package, place the butt in and dispose of later. So Nun 2 decides that yes...
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    Honey Bun cake

    Quick / easy and very good: ! box of yellow cake mix 4 eggs 18 oz container of sour cream 1/2 cup of sugar 3/4 cup of oil mix above ingredients untill moist pour into a greased 9 x 13 pan: then mix in a small bowl 1 cup light brown sugar, 1/2 cup raisins and 3 tsps cinnamon. Swirl this...
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    Rattlesnake and Grits? well actually there is one

    Phoned a family member and was laughing about the snake and grits thing......and guess what? there is one ....they used the shrimp and grits recipe..I think I will pass but if you want it I will send it to you. They also have hundreds of wild game reipes so let me know if you are looking for...
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    The magic elevator

    The Magic Elevator A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked , "What’s this, Paw?" The father responded, "Son, I have...
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    how to get into the Olympics

    Getting Into The Olympics Three rednecks were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village while in Atlanta to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."...
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    Things that you will never hear at Nascar

    Things You'll Never Hear At A Nascar Race "None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth." "Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race." "Dating your own sister? Man, that's sick!" "My God, this is a splendid Merlot!" "Hey, you with the large chest. Out of the way! We're trying...
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    The Rules

    The Rules A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you...
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    the sins of Leroy

    The Sins of Leroy Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well Leroy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't you write...
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    women at different ages

    Female at different ages What's the difference between female at the ages of 8, 18, 28, 38, 48 and 58? 08 - You take her to bed and tell her a story. 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed. 28 - You don't need to tell her any story and take her to bed. 38 - She tells you a story and...
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    kidnapping

    Kidnapping One day a was broke and didn't know what to do. So she decided to kidnap a child. She went over to the play ground and saw plenty of little kids running around. She picked out this one little boy and went over and grabbed him. She told the little boy she was going to kidnap...
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    the magic mirror

    Magic Mirror There was a blond a , and a - and they were walking down the street. A short man came up to them and said: in that castle there is a magic mirror, if u look into the mirror and tell the truth you will be granted any wish you please, but if you lie you will be...
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    The golden Saloon

    Golden Saloon A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands. "At this new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's...
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    The 's cookbook

    Cook Book: MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a...
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    hunting humor

    A man takes his wife out deer hunting for the first time. It's early in themorning and the husband is explaining the rules to his wife, "Now, rememberthese woods have allot of greedy people in them, so if you shoot one, run rightover to it and guard it with your life. If you don't someone else...

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